


Life Can Do Terrible Things

by Griffster101



Series: Without you I’d be miserable at best [2]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: And More Fluff, Artist Clarke Griffin, Clexa engagement, Clexa family, Clexa20gayteen, EJ is a charm, Fluff, Fuck you Jason!, G!p Lexa, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Intersex, Kidnapping, Mama Bear Lexa, Pregnancy, Pregnant Clarke, Pregnant Sex, Sad Clarke, Sad Lexa, Smut, Teacher Lexa (The 100), a little bit of dat angst, and cute moments, babynapping?, clexa baby, everyone is sad, mama bear clarke
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-23
Updated: 2019-03-18
Packaged: 2019-08-06 07:52:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 55,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16384184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Griffster101/pseuds/Griffster101
Summary: A continuation of the storyLexa is still a teacher at Arkadia High, trying to survive and provide for her little family.Clarke is taking a year off to stay home with their baby, EJ.They encounter new problems and shitty people and stuff happens. (I still suck at descriptions)





	1. Where’d you go?

“Hi baby” Lexa cooed as she picked the baby up. It was three in the morning, and too early for Lexa to be awake, but she didn’t want to wake Clarke. “Shh, it’s okay... it’s okay EJ” she said softly as she rocked him back an forth. She carefully walked downstairs with the boy in her arms. She prepared a bottle of milk from him and gently walked around the kitchen while she waited for the milk to heat up. 

 

It has been almost two months since the police incident. Two months of being out and open with Clarke. She hadn’t heard anything from Costia since she met her in the park, and frankly, she didn’t want to either. That bitch had turned her in. Tried to make her life miserable again. Lucky for her, all it took was a lie detector test and a very moving statement from Clarke to get her life back on track. And the two weeks of community service, but she’d rather forget about that. 

 

She grabbed the bottle of milk and walked back up to the nursery with EJ. She carefully sat down in the rocking chair and gently laid Ethan on a pillow in her lap. “Here you go baby” She said softly as she fed her son. 

 

It was crazy to think that he soon would be four months. Time was flying by fast. She just wanted him to stay a baby for forever. She hummed a soft little melody as Ethan drank from the bottle. She could see his eyes starting to droop slowly and by the time he finished the bottle he was fast asleep. She got up careful, laying him over her shoulder with the cloth on her back. She gently rubbed circles on his back, trying to get him to burp without waking him up. 

 

“Hey beautiful” She heard Clarke’s voice from the door opening. She jumped slightly but steadied herself quickly.

“Hey, Sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you up” Lexa said softly as she walked over to the blonde. She gently pecked her lips, smiling against them. 

“It’s alright.. I didn’t wake up from the baby. It was cold on your side of the bed. Figured you were probably here or in the bathroom.” Clarke said as she studied her. Eyes trailing over the features of her girlfriend, partner in crime, and fiancée. 

 

“Are you telling me you can’t sleep without me?” Lexa smirked at her, resulting in a playful slap on her shoulder. 

“You know I struggle to fall asleep without you.” Clarke said softly and gently stroked the baby’s head. “He’s getting so big... It feels like he was born yesterday” 

 

“Yeah. I... I just want him to stay small forever. Be my little mamas boy, you know?” Lexa whispered as she looked at Clarke.

“He definitely is a mama’s boy. Little fucker only uses me for my milk” Clarke said teasingly. She loved her son more than anything. Sharing the spot with Lexa of course. But it was clear that Ethan was a mama’s boy. He and Lexa shared a special little bond.

 

“Clarke, not swear words in front of the baby” Lexa teased back. They hadn’t really been strict on that, yet. But Clarke knew there would come a time where she would have to refrain herself and others from cursing in front of their baby. 

 

“Sorry” Clarke shrugged sheepishly and Lexa just chuckled softly at her. 

 

Lexa gently laid him back down in his crib. He had been using it for nearly a month now. She carefully tucked him under the covers and turned on the night light above his bed. 

 

“We did good” Clarke whispered as she stood behind Lexa, arms wrapped gently around her. 

“Yeah, we did” 

 

——————

 

“Okay class. Be sure to write down the homework on the board before you leave. I’ll see you on Monday” Lexa said as she packed her stuff, more than ready to head home and be with Clarke and her baby. She patiently waited for her students to exit the room so she could lock the door behind her. 

 

As she was closing up the room, she felt the presence of someone staring at her from a distance. She looked behind her and to both her sides, but there was no one there. Figuring she was just being paranoid at the end of a long work day, she grabbed her suitcase and walked out of the building. 

 

She fumbled slightly with the keys to her car and nearly jumped out of her own skin when someone said her name from behind her. Fear suddenly turned into morphing anger. 

 

“Hey Lexa” Finn said as he towered over her. He had a few inches on her, but she wasn’t intimidated by the boy. 

 

“Finn... what do you want?” Lexa said and stared him down. She could tell that he cowered slightly at her intense glare. 

 

“I want Clarke... and my baby back” The boy said simply and Lexa just stared at him. Not sure if she heard him right. Was he serious? By the look on his face that seemed to be the case. She burst out laughing, not able to control herself. It wasn’t even funny. 

 

“Are you serious? Like actually serious? There is no way... and I mean no way in hell, that’s gonna happen. Firstly because you’re being a creep. Secondly because it is MY baby. Mine and Clarke’s... and thirdly... get the fuck out of my way. Stay away from me. Stay away from Clarke. And if I so much as see you creeping on my child I will make sure that you’ll never see bright daylight again. Are we clear? And fourthly... Clarke doesn’t want you. Finn. She never did. You were the worst thing that ever happened to her...” Lexa said, trying to keep her anger towards the boy at bay. 

 

“We’ll see about that” he muttered lowly making sure that the brunette wouldn’t hear him. 

 

Lexa got in her car and drove off. Who the fuck does he think he is? She would have to see about updating her security system. There was no way she would let that bastard get close to Clarke or their baby boy. Ever.

 

—————-

 

“Hey babe. How was work?” Clarke said cheerfully as she greeted Lexa at the door. Ethan was staying with his grandparents for the weekend which meant that they would finally have some time to themselves.

 

“Awful. They never pay attention to what I’m saying. I’m telling you. This generation of kids....” Lexa muttered as she hung up her jacket. “Hey. I’m this generation of kids” Clarke scowled at her woman.

 

“You’re not a child, Clarke. It’s not the same. You’re you. And I love you. Besides! You were my top student! Well, almost. But still! At least you tried to pay attention to me” Lexa said as she made her way into the kitchen. 

“Well yeah. Duh. I needed to be on your good side to seduce you into liking me back. It was hard sometimes” Clarke teased as she placed a kiss on her cheek. Lexa stood frozen. Not sure what to do now. Should she tell Clarke about the incident with Finn earlier? She doesn’t want to worry her unnecessarily. He’s probably just trying to get into her head. Right?

 

“I missed you today” Clarke breathed softly into her neck. 

 

“I missed you too.” Lexa Sighed as she turned around and wrapped Clarke in a tight embrace. “I love you” She said gently and felt Clarke place soft kisses on her neck. “Clarke..” Lexa said as Clarke kept trailing kisses down to her collar bones, slowly starting to unbutton her shirt. 

 

“Babe... what about Ethan?” Lexa Sighed as she pulled away. “Lex, he’s at my mom’s house this weekend, remember?” Clarke said and Lexa looked up at her. How did she forget?

 

“Was that this weekend?” Lexa said softly. A part of her really wanted their son to be home with them, but on the other hand they needed a little time to themselves. Ethan was a charm, but taking care of a baby 24/7 was tiring. Especially for Clarke who spent every day with him.

 

“Yeah... which means.. we have this place all to ourselves... no interruptions” Clarke said huskily as she strode forward and captured Lexa’s lips in a heated kiss. Lexa hoisted her up on the kitchen counter and Clarke wrapped her legs around her, pulling her closer. 

 

“Lexa... B-bedroom” Clarke moaned out and Lexa lifted her up. Carrying her all the way into their bedroom where they would spend the next few hours.

 

——————

 

“Oh damn” Lexa breathed as she slumped on top of her girlfriend. She would never get tired of feeling Clarke wrapped around her. 

 

“Yeah” Clarke panted from underneath her, drawing lazy circles on her back. 

 

“I love you, Clarke” Lexa whispered as she gently caressed her face. They hadn’t spent time like this in almost three months, being too busy working and taking care of their baby. 

 

“I love you too, baby” Clarke said and snuggled closer with her girlfriend. “Do you ever think about how different things could be?” The blonde asked after a while. 

 

“What do you mean?” The brunette asked with furrowed brows, not understanding where Clarke was coming from. 

 

“Think about it... if you had rejected me, or I had actually drowned those two times, or if I hadn’t forgotten to take my pill those times or just, what if one little detail changed. One thing that led us to where we are now. Do you ever think about it?” Clarke asked softly as she looked up into green eyes. 

Lexa started back at her. Why was Clarke asking this? 

 

“Well... I.. to be honest.. no. I haven’t thought about it. It’s not something I like to think about. I mean.. of course I... I think about it sometimes. When I look at EJ, and when I look at you. I wouldn’t change any of it though, if it meant losing either of you. Never” Lexa said and Clarke nearly broke at the intensity of the love in her eyes. 

“Me neither” Clarke whispered as she clung to Lexa. 

“Maybe we should clean up” Lexa said as she started to move, but Clarke held her firmly in place.

“Nooo, I’m comfy” the blonde whined and pouted and Lexa just smiled at her and placed a soft kiss to her lips. 

“Okay then... you’re changing the bed sheets in the morning.” Lexa said as she rolled over to lay on her side, pulling the covers over them both. Clarke draped her arm over her stomach and gently placed her face in the crook of her neck. 

“M’kay... love you” she mumbled sleepily and Lexa chuckled softly at her before they drifted off to sleep. 

 

——————

 

Clarke sat on the kitchen counter, FaceTiming her mom. She was making funny faces and speaking in her baby voice as Abby held the phone for Ethan to see his mommy. “Yes, you’re my sweet baby boy. Yes you are.” Clarke cooed to him. “Yeeah, lemme see that smile. Yes, let mommy see your smile” she said and watched her sons happy face on the screen. 

 

“He misses his mommies” Abby said as she switched the camera back to herself. 

 

“We miss him too” Clarke smiled softly. It was almost Christmas again, which was crazy. It meant that it was almost a year ago that they made their little nugget. The best accident that has ever happened to them both. “What are you doing today?” Clarke asked softly. 

 

“We were thinking about taking him to the park. Watch the other children run around and play in the snow.” Abby said with a shrug. 

“Oh, he really enjoys strolls in the park. Please keep him warm at all times. I don’t want to deal with a sick baby, Sorry but that is the most stressful thing. I like my baby healthy and smiling.” Clarke joked. 

 

“Don’t worry about that. He’s gonna be the happiest, warmest and comfiest baby in the park” Abby winked at her. They talked for a few more minutes before Abby hung up.

 

“How’s EJ?” Lexa asked as she walked through the door, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge. 

“He’s fine. Perfectly fine. I can’t wait for him to come home tomorrow tho. As much as I love it just being me and you, there is an empty space here whenever he’s gone” Clarke said as she jumped off the counter and over to Lexa. “Yeah. I miss him too” Lexa said softly as she hugged Clarke.

 

“Wanna watch a movie? It’s been a while since we’ve done that. You, me, some boring documentary about squids. Some hot coco. I dunno” Clarke said as she slowly dragged her girl to the living room.

 

“Admit it. That documentary was cute and entertaining. Squids are cool” Lexa said as she sat down on the couch. 

“They’re squids, Lex.” 

 

“They’re cool”. Lexa said as she blindly put on something to watch. About an hour into the movie they were watching Clarke´s phone suddenly lit up with her mother’s name. Clarke lazily reached for it and hit the answer button. 

 

“Hey mom, did you forget something?” Clarke asked, assuming her mother forgot to ask or say something on the phone earlier. Abby’s frantic voice told a different story. 

 

“Wow, Hey.. Mom. Calm down. Calm down. What happened?” Clarke asked with wide eyes and Lexa looked at her, her heartbeat raising. 

 

“Ethan is gone! He’s missing. He was right behind me, in his stroller. I turned my back fro three seconds and then the stroller was gone” Abby cried and Clarke forgot how to breathe. 

 

“Clarke? Baby, what’s wrong?” Lexa asked as she looked at her girlfriend. 

 

 

“Ethan is missing.” Clarke said and the tears started to flow.


	2. Baby boy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m seriously considering writing the next chapter from Ethans perspective... hahaha, but then again that would be weird. 
> 
>  
> 
> Anyways! Enjoy! 
> 
>  
> 
> Dramaaaaa

“Wow, Hey.. Mom. Calm down. Calm down. What happened?” Clarke asked with wide eyes and Lexa looked at her, her heartbeat raising. 

 

“Ethan is gone! He’s missing. He was right behind me, in his stroller. I turned my back fro three seconds and then the stroller was gone” Abby cried and Clarke forgot how to breathe. 

 

“Clarke? Baby, what’s wrong?” Lexa asked as she looked at her girlfriend. 

 

 

“Ethan is missing.” Clarke said and the tears started to flow. 

 

—————

 

“What do you mean he’s missing!?” Lexa shouted as she jumped up and started pacing. Oh god no. This wasn’t happening. No. Nope. This had to be a cruel joke. 

 

“I don’t know! My mom said they took him to the park, she turned her back to the stroller for literally three seconds and then he was gone!” Clarke cried as she walked as fast as she could into he hallway, shuffling on her shoes and grabbing a coat from one of the hangers. 

 

“Clarke! Where are you going!?” Lexa shouted as she ran after her. She couldn’t let Clarke walk out like this.

 

“I’m going to find my baby!” The blonde yelled and slammed the door. This was all too familiar. Lexa needed to stop the blonde from leaving. She couldn’t let Clarke get into an accident.

 

“Clarke!” She yelled and ran out in her socks. It was freezing cold and she would definitely get sick after this. “Clarke” she said more calmly as she grabbed Clarke by the arm, pulling her to a stop. 

“Lexa, let go of my arm”

“No”

 

“Lexa, I’m serious! Our baby is out there! All alone with god knows who! I’m going to find him” Clarke said stubbornly but Lexa shook her head. 

“Clarke.. I.. you need to calm down. Take a breath. I can’t let you get in the car like this. I can’t. We need to calm down, call the police and meet with Abby to find out what happened. Okay? I can’t let Ethan lose his mommy because I let you drive in this condition” Lexa said and pulled Clarke close. The heart wrenching sobs that escaped Clarke’s lips broke her heart more than anything. 

 

“I can’t lose him. I- I can’t. He’s just a baby. He hasn’t even experienced the world yet. I can’t” Clarke cried into her shoulder, shaking on wobbling legs.

 

“I know, baby. I know. But we will find him. We will find him, and he’s going to be okay. I promise. We’re going to be okay” Lexa whispered as the tears escaped her eyes. She had a feeling that she knew who had taken him, and she didn’t like it one bit. She only prayed that the person wouldn’t harm the baby. 

 

After spending a few moments to breathe and calm down, Lexa took the car keys out of Clarke’s hand and got into the drivers seat, Clarke jumped in the passenger seat. She grabbed the baby blanket from Ethan’s car seat in the back, clutching it to her heart as she cried. 

 

——————

 

“Clarke.. I’m so sorry. Baby. I’m so sorry. He didn’t even make a sound... I was watching this little girl and talking to her mom for literally three seconds. I didn’t— I didn’t even hear him” Abby said as she enveloped her daughter in a tight embrace. Clarke wanted to be so damn angry at her, but she knew that it wasn’t her mother’s fault. How was she to know that this were going to happen. Polis is a safe place, stuff like this don’t happen. But it did. And it happened to them and their baby. 

 

“It’s okay, it’s okay mom. I- I don’t blame you. We will find him. I- we have to.” Clarke said as her mother rubbed her back softly. 

 

“Where was the place you went? Did you try following the wheel patterns in the snow?” Clarke asked as she started looking at the ground. Lexa and Marcus were talking to the police, trying to explain as best as they could what happened. 

 

“Clarke, honey. We tried. There are at least twenty different wheel patterns from strollers here. It is a popular place to walk” Abby said as she watched Clarke study the ground. If only she could remember the damn pattern! 

 

“There!” Clarke shouted as she recognized it. She kept her eyes on it, following the markings on the ground. Maybe someone took the wrong stroller by accident? That was a possibility? Right? She walked at a fast pace, trailing the tracks with her mother and Lexa and Marcus and the police officers in tow.

She halted abruptly and stared straight ahead. Ethan’s gray stroller was standing under a tree a few feet away. She didn’t dare to move forward. Too scared to find the answer. 

 

The police officers carefully walked over to it. There were tracks in the snow that indicated that the kidnapper was someone with small feet. One of them studied the tracks on the ground as the other carefully peeked inside it. Clarke’s, and the other’s, heart was pounding hard in their chest. This was it. The moment of truth. 

 

He carefully peeked inside, Clarke broke down when she saw the slumping shoulders of the police man. He turned and shook his head no at them. 

 

Lexa quickly wrapped her arms around Clarke to keep her from falling as the sobs escaped her lips. Of corse they knew the chances of Ethan actually being there was slim to non existent. But as a parent there is this little piece of hope that lingers. They just had that hope crushed by the harsh reality that their son is missing and no one knows where he is. 

 

“Miss Griffin. If you could please give us a description of your son” one of the officers said as he carefully approached them. 

 

“Um.. h-he has blonde hair, green eyes.. h-he’s soon to be four months old. Weighs about 15 pounds. I-I don’t know what he was wearing but his pacifier has his name on it. I know he used it earlier. Uhm. A heart shaped birthmark on his ribs. Right side. He doesn’t like to be held by strangers... I- I don’t know what to tell you” Clarke sniffled as she tried to calm herself down.

“That’s enough for now. Do you have any idea of someone who might have done this? It looks to be a female from the tracks in the snow” the man said and Clarke furrowed her brows. She couldn’t think of anyone. Unless Lexa’s ex girlfriend?

 

“Uhm.. maybe Costia Greene” she said and looked at Lexa who stared back at her. 

 

“Okay, do you have any information about her? How to contact her? Where she lives? Relatives?” He asked and Lexa took over from there, explaining everything there was to know about her ex. 

 

“Anything else?” He asked and Lexa chewed on her lip. Clarke noticed. The brunette was hiding something. “Lexa?” Clarke asked as she saw her girlfriend think. 

“Y-yeah. Uhm.. a few days ago I was approached by one of my former students. Finn Collins. Said something about wanting Clarke and his baby back. Obviously I thought it was a joke, but... there might me a possibility that he could have done this” Lexa explained. She could feel the intense glare Clarke was sending her, but she chose to ignore it. She would apologize her ass off later. 

 

“Okay, we will do everything in our power to help find your son and get him home. It’s not everyday there is a missing baby case around here” The officer said and jotted down some notes on a piece of paper. “I would encourage you to put up a missing person posters around town. It makes it easier for people to recognize him when or if they see him” He said before walking away.

 

“Clarke before y-“

 

“You lied to me! Why didn’t you tell me!? If I had known...” Clarke cut her off, pacing back and forth. 

“Clarke I didn’t lie, I- I just didn’t know how to tell you...” Lexa tried to explain.

 

“You didn’t say the truth either! Why didn’t you tell me? You should have told me! Dammit Lexa! Our son is missing. H-he is somewhere out there, alone- and, and afraid and-“ Clarke Yelled before she broke down in tears. Lexa fell to her knees and pulled Clarke close to her. 

“Clarke, I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I should have told you. I know I should have- I- I just didn’t know how. I didn’t want to worry you.” Lexa said as she placed kisses on top of her head. 

“Yeah! And now our son is missing! He’s just a baby!” Clarke shouted as she broke loose from her grasp. 

“C-Clarke..”

“No! Stay away from me, just go! I- I can’t even look at you right now... I.. I have to find EJ. I have to.” The blonde sniffled and dried her tears as she walked over to her mother, leaving Lexa standing by the stroller alone. 

 

“Sweetie, you’re being too harsh on her-“

 

“I don’t care... she should have told me.” Clarke said stubbornly as she walked to the car. 

 

——————

 

“Clarke, I’m so sorry. We will find him. I know we will.” Raven said as she pulled clarke in for a hug. It had been almost four hours since Abby first called her. EJ has been missing for four damn hours. 

 

“I- I don’t know what to do Rae. I feel like the worst mother right now. How did this happen? I- he... he is just a baby. I just... please tell me what to do” Clarke begged. The first 24 hours was the most critical part of a child abduction. Most kids died after the first hour of disappearance. The rest depended on the person who took them. 

 

The blonde had been laying on her best friends couch for the past half hour. She had no idea what to do. She kept waiting for updates from the police, but she was losing hope for every minute that passed without any news about Ethan. She knew that the FBI had been contacted within the first two hours of his disappearance. She felt so helpless being unable to find the most precious thing in her life. 

The news channel had been on for the past few hours, their sons face showing up between breaks. They had interviewed her and Lexa earlier to get more information about the baby out there.

 

“Earlier today a little baby boy by the name Ethan Jacob Griffin-Woods disappeared from the Bear River Park in Polis. The baby was out on a stroll with his grandparents when he disappeared. The police among with the FBI are still searching for the four month old, but so far there is no luck in the case. Today an emotional plea from Ethan’s parents Alexandria and Clarke.... ‘We would appreciate if you were at the park around noon today to please... please call the tip line to- help us find our boy...” Came the noise from the Tv in the background. 

It was devastating and heartbreaking to watch it over and over. The only tip being the stroller under the tree. Clarke grabbed the remote and muted the tv before slamming it back on the table.

 

“I can’t do this. I can’t- I can’t just sit here and wait for a miracle to happen. I have to find him.  
It’s getting dark... I have to, Rae. I... he’s my baby.. my precious little baby boy. I can’t lose him” Clarke said as she got up from the couch. 

She walked into the hallway and put on her shoes and coat. Raven following after her. “Clarke. You.. you can’t just go out looking by yourself. I’ll come with you, Okay. We will look together.” Raven said as she too got dressed. 

They walked outside in the freezing cold. She hadn’t spoken to Lexa since their interview earlier, she couldn’t. She knew that Lexa wasn’t to blame for their sons disappearance, of course she knew that. She just hated that the brunette didn’t tell her before. 

 

They had been putting up “have you seen me?” posters on probably every damn street in Polis. Nothing seemed to help though. Ethan had been missing for nearly six hours now. Six hours of people searching for him. In eighteen hours they can’t even be sure if they are searching for a living person anymore. 

 

——————

 

“Lexa! You can’t be serious! You don’t even know if he’s there! The police has checked the place. They didn’t find anything” Anya shouted after her cousin. She was heartbroken over the news of EJ, but she couldn’t let Lexa do this. 

 

“I have to. That son of a bitch knows where my baby boy is. I will find out, one way or another. I swear...” Lexa said as she got into her car and drove off, leaving Anya standing in the driveway. 

 

She sped down the icy road all the way over to the shady part of town. She hated being on the east side. The buildings were tall and unfriendly, no place for a child or anyone to grow up. The abruptly stopped in front of an apartment complex and looked at the windows on the fifth floor. She quickly got out of her car and into the building. It was so shady there that the lock on the door was broken. 

She walked inside and sprinted the stairs. She walked through the corridors and stopped in front of apartment 513 B. She didn’t even think before she kicked the door down. 

 

“What the fuck dude!” Someone yelled from the kitchen. Lexa didn’t care. She came to a stop when Finn appeared from around a corner. “What the fuck are you doing here Woods? You don’t belong to this part of town” he said and crossed his arms over his chest. Lexa felt the raging fire inside her grow, spreading throughout her body like a wildfire. 

“Where is he?” Lexa demanded. She carefully stepped forward.

 

“Where is who?” Finn asked, he almost looked confused. Lexa wasn’t buying his bullshit.

 

“Where is he!? Where is my baby!?” Lexa roared at him and he flinched. 

 

“I don’t know! I don’t know what you’re talking about” He said and put his hands up in surrender. Lexa stepped forward and froze when she heard something crack under her boot. She looked down and lifted her foot of the object. A single tear escaping her eye as she stared down at Ethan’s pacifier. She bent down and picked it up. Putting it in her pocket.

 

She walked up to Finn, death glare in place. Finn was about to open his mouth to say something but Lexa never let him. She punched him right in the face, sending him toppling backwards. “Where is he!?” She shouted as she straddled him. Landing punch after punch to his body. 

“I don’t know!” Finn shouted and Lexa kept landing punches on him. His face was bleeding profoundly. Lexa could hear the sound of a bone cracking, and the sound of someone running in the hall. 

 

“Tell! Me! Where is my baby!? What did you do to him!?” The brunette cried. Her knuckles started to get swollen and bruised. 

 

“Lexa!” She heard Clarke’s voice. “Lexa, stop! You’re gonna kill him. Stop!” The blonde ran into the room, followed by Anya and Raven. 

 

Clarke grabbed ahold of her and dragged her off of him. “Lexa, please. Stop. Take a breath. Just breathe.” Clarke said as she held the brunette tight. Finn was laying motionless on the floor and Raven and Anya gaped. 

 

“Shh, it’s okay Lex. Just breathe.” Clarke soothed as she held her in her arms. Raven walked over to Finn to check if he was still alive. 

 

“He was here Clarke. EJ. He’s been here. I- I came too late” Lexa cried into her shoulder, hugging her for dear life. “Shh, Lexa... D-don’t. It’s okay” Clarke tried to calm her down. Lexa reaches into her pocket and took out the white pacifier with Ethan written on, handing it over to Clarke. The blonde took ahold of it, staring at it. This was the first sign of their baby in the last eight hours. 

 

Clarke shifter her gaze between Raven, Lexa and the pacifier in her hand. 

 

Well fuck.....


	3. Dead or alive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hellzz! Challenge accepted ;)
> 
>  
> 
> Sorry if this sucks. I apologize for how messy this is. Just bare/bear? With me! 
> 
>  
> 
> Enjoy :3

There were few things in life that made Clarke overly anxious, to the point of nearly passing out, but when the police had called and the words “we found a body” came through the phone, she collapsed. Everything felt numb, like someone had turned a switch. 

She dropped her phone to the ground, she could see the screen shattering into a million pieces in front of her. Lexa was by her side in an instant, picking her off the floor, helping her stand. 

“Clarke!” She shouted, but it sounded distant. This wasn’t real. This couldn’t be real. Could it? “Clarke, baby, what’s wrong?” Lexa asked softly as she held her in her arms. Clarke stared blankly at Ethan’s baby stuff in the living room. His little chair, and blanket and cradle. Was this really it? The end? 

“Clarke, please talk to me, what’s wrong? Baby what’s wrong” the brunette asked and tears started to form in her eyes. She looked at Clarke and her gaze said everything. She started shaking her head, taking a few steps back. Pulling at her hair as she paced back and forth. “No.” She whispered and came to a halt. 

“Lexa.. t-they... they found a— they found a body” Clarke said through her tears as she walked towards the brunette. “They found a body, Lex” Clarke repeated, the words didn’t sit well with her. Not at all. 

“They want us to.. to come and i-identify it?” Lexa asked through her own tears, and the sobs that escaped Clarke’s mouth gave away the answer. They knew that after a certain amount of time, it became less likely to find him alive, but it had been fifteen hours. Fifteen hours without their baby. He was supposed to come home today. Home from his grandma. 

 

“We have to go... go see if it really is him. I can’t.. I— I can’t-“ 

 

“Shh, it’s okay.” Lexa whispered and pulled Clarke close to her. There were still search parties out there, looking for him in the Woods, in Rivers, in houses. There was still a chance. 

 

They walked on shaky legs out to the car, Lexa in the driver seat and Clarke in the passenger seat. The ride to the hospital was silent. Lexa had to pull over a few times because her tears kept blurring her vision.

 

They walked through the entrance and Clarke immediately ran up to her mother who was waiting for them. Gustus was there too, embracing Lexa in a tight hug. “I’m sorry this is happening to you, kiddo” He said softly into her hair. This was the first time in years that she had seen her father cry. 

“We will be right outside” Abby said as the police officers guided them down to the morgue. This was the place Clarke hoped she’d never find herself. It’s ironically funny how life finds a way to fuck her over every time something good happens to her. 

 

Lexa carefully reached for Clarke’s hand. Squeezing it gently. They walked inside, and on the table was a tiny body, covered by a white sheet. Clarke braced herself as the man slowly moved the sheet, revealing what was underneath. All it took was one quick glance. They didn’t even have to pull the sheets off all the way. One glance was enough for Clarke to break. 

 

Clarke shook violently as the tears streamed down her face. She shook her head making a gesture for the man to cover the dead again. “It’s not him” Lexa said to the man. She was so relieved, but at the same time it felt wrong. This wasn’t their baby, but it was someone’s baby, and she felt horrible for being happy that it wasn’t Ethan. 

 

“It’s not- it’s not him” she repeated and Clarke clung to her. She had never seen a dead baby before. It was so heartbreaking. The body was nearly blue, and lifeless. It looked so wrong. Like some sort of doll. 

 

Lexa walked outside with Clarke, the blonde still sobbing in her arms. Abby looked like she was about to break down too. 

“It’s not him... it’s not.” Lexa said and her voice cracked. Both Abby and Gustus breathed out in relief. 

 

“So he’s still out there... somewhere” Abby said softly and Lexa sniffled, brushing away her tears. 

“What do we do now?” Gustus asked softly.

 

“Now we continue to look for him.” 

 

———————

 

Clarke kept driving around the blocks. Hoping to catch a glimpse of something or someone who tell her where her son was. It had been twenty hours since he disappeared. She contemplated driving to Costia and beat the shit out of her, but she didn’t know where the woman lived. And Lexa had no clue either. 

 

She pulled up in front of the police station. After what happened earlier the police had shown up, they amazingly let Lexa off with a warning, knowing her judgement was clouded by the protectiveness over her missing son. 

 

She walked through the doors and up to the front desk. 

 

“Any news yet? Has he said anything?” The blonde asked as she approached the officer who sadly shook her head. Clarke tried her best not to cry, but it had been almost twenty four hours now and Ethan was still gone. 

 

Clarke made her way to the interrogation room, stepping inside the box where they surveilled Finn from. He was staring at the agent in front of him, not saying a word. He was still bruised and bloody from his earlier encounter with Lexa. 

 

“Mr. Collins. You do understand that this is a missing baby. His mother’s are desperately looking for him, and the fact that his pacifier was found in your apartment, as the first sign of the boy in the first eight hours, I’d say this is looking pretty bad for you.” The dark skinned man said. Trying to break him with his gaze. 

 

“Mother” Finn muttered under his breath.

“Excuse me?” The agent said as he looked at him. 

 

“You said ‘mother’s’... it’s mother. His mother is looking for him” Finn said. Clarke was on the verge of kicking down the door and walking in there to rip off his head. He had no right. No right to say that. 

 

“What makes you say that?”

 

“It’s true. Isn’t it? A child can only have one mother. Which obviously is Clarke. So his mother is looking for him” Finn stated. Clarke’s blood was boiling at this point. 

 

“You do understand that this baby, two mother’s or one or none at all, is missing. And we have every reason to believe that you know exactly where he is. So why don’t you just CUT THE CRAP AND SPIT IT OUT!” The man yelled and Finn flinched in his seat. 

 

“I’ve already told you. I don’t know where he is” Finn said stubbornly. Clarke just watched through the glass, glaring daggers into to the shaggy haired boy. 

 

“Very well, Mr. Collins. But mark my words. You are stuck in this room until that baby shows up. Dead or alive. If that baby shows up dead somewhere you can bet your sorry ass that the pacifier found in your house, which FYI! Links you to the case, can land you in prison for a long time! You wouldn’t even last ten seconds behind those bars. Probably end up like someones bitch the second you step foot inside. Have a nice life, Collins” he said as he got up and walked towards the door. “We’re done here” he yelled and a guard opened the door to let him out, leaving Finn alone in the room.

 

Seconds later the same man came into the room in the other side of the mirror, looking apologetically over at Clarke. 

“He still haven’t said anything?” The blonde asked and they shook their heads. “We’re Sorry. He only denies everything. Hopefully this scare tactic will set him into place” the man said as he observed through the glass. 

 

——————

 

Lexa was sitting on her couch, softly cradling one of EJ’s onesies in her hand. This was the last thing he wore before Clarke had dropped him off at Abby’s house. It still smelled like him. The soft smell of their baby boy. It was soothing, but so heartbreaking at the same time. Clarke was driving god knows where, their friends were all out in the cold looking for him. She had no idea what to do. She haven’t slept in almost forty eight hours. 

There was a sudden knock at her door, followed by the sound of it opening and closing. 

 

“Lexa! Where are you!?” Raven shouted as she made her way into the house. The Latina stopped abruptly in the door opening, looking at Lexa. Taking her in. If someone told her a year ago that Clarke would be in a serious relationship with their teacher and having her baby, she would have laughed in their faces. Now, seeing Lexa on the couch, a heartbroken mess, was something she thought she’d never see in a million years. 

 

“What now Raven?” Lexa asked as she carefully stood up. 

 

“So me and Anya were talking earlier and someone called with a tip on a woman over in Askeda. Someone had seen a suspicious woman at a coffee shop with a crying baby. And! It fits the description of EJ! About four months old, blonde hair, green eyes. Looking extremely uncomfortable” Raven babbled and Lexa lit up. This might be something good.

 

“Okay? Go on” she encouraged. 

 

“So, Askeda is like what, half an hour away, right? The woman was seen around noon, so basically half an hour ago.! We can drive there and look at their surveillance footage and you can identify if it is Ethan.” The Latina explained and Lexa was already halfway out the door, ready to go through hell and back if that baby was in fact her son. 

 

“Come on Reyes. We don’t have time for hanging. Get in the car. Text Clarke.” Lexa said as she started the engine and took off down the street.

 

—————

 

“Okay! Okay! I’m ready to talk! Please! I- I can’t take this anymore... just. I need to get out of the room. I’ll tell you anything!” Finn cried as he paced around in the room. Screaming at no one in particular.

 

Seconds later a group of agents entered the room.

Clarke’s phone dinged in the room, a message from Raven. 

 

Raebae: Clarke, we might know where Ethan is. He’s outside of Polis, over in Askeda. Some woman tipped about a baby at a coffee shop there. Text me back when you have the chance. 

 

Clarke read and the hope in her heart grew. Maybe, maybe they were closer to finding him that they thought. She looked back up and into the room.

 

“Yeah! Me and my girlfriend took the little guy... and she ran away with him within the first hour! So no! I have absolutely no idea where they are! Maybe he’s dead, maybe he’s not! I don’t know! Now can I please just go!?” Finn shouted at them. They all walked out the door, leaving him behind in the room to cry by himself. 

 

“Okay, we got a name. Costia Greene” the officer informed Clarke and the blonde turned her phone towards the man so he could read the message. 

 

“That looks to be near the area of his girlfriends address. Now let’s just hope they’re not screwing us over.” The man said before he disappeared out the door. 

 

Clarke walked back to the main entrance of the building, sending a quick text to her mother to meet her there. Abby showed up seven minutes later, slightly out of breath. 

 

“Did you find him? Is he okay?” The older woman asked as she approached her daughter. 

 

“I don’t know yet, but Lexa and Raven went to Askeda, and the police and some FBI agents just left and moved the search party over there.” Clarke explained to her mother as they walked over to the blondes car. 

 

“So he’s still alive? He’s fine?” 

 

“I don’t know. But at least we know where he is, right?” Clarke smiled sadly as they got in the car, ready to break the speed limit. 

 

—————-

 

“That’s him! It’s him!” Lexa shouted as happy tears escaped her eyes. She could recognize Ethan anytime, anywhere at any given moment. The chance to find their boy alive just got higher. 

 

“Yeah, but who the fuck is that?” Raven asked with furrowed brows as she pointed to the woman holding the baby. 

 

Lexa shifted her gaze from her baby to the person holding him. 

 

It almost looked like... It couldn’t be? 

 

Could it?


	4. I miss you so

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don’t Kill me... :/
> 
>  
> 
> Hahah, I’m sorry if this sucks! I haven’t proofread it so there might be some errors.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

“Yeah, but who the fuck is that?” Raven asked with furrowed brows as she pointed to the woman holding the baby.

 

Lexa shifted her gaze from her baby to the person holding him.

 

It almost looked like... It couldn’t be?

 

Could it?

 

 

——————

 

 

“That fucking bitch!” Lexa screamed as she hit the table with her fist.

 

 

“Lexa, calm down, who is that?” Raven asked confused as Lexa paced back and forth, trying to think of something to do.

 

 

“It’s Costia... my ex girlfriend... my damn bitch of an ex!” She yelled and walked back and forth. Halting now and then. How could Costia do this? How? After all they’ve been through. She cheated on her! Wasn’t that bad enough already? Clearly not. The brunette stood there, contemplating what to do.

 

 

“Oi! Commander... I know that look. There is no way. Nuh uh. Just stop your train of thought right there. I will not have you go to prison over some stupid jealous cold hearted ex. Do you hear me? Clarke sure as hell cant lose you because of that ...” Raven said as she walked up to her, placing a hand on her shoulder. “We are so close to finding him. Don’t fuck it up by doing something stupid, Woods”

 

 

“I think I know where he is... I. If she’s as stupid as I think she is.” Lexa said and looked at Raven. The Latina was about to regret this later. “We have to go now, Raven. Right now. Do you hear me?” She asked and Raven groaned before she caved and nodded her head. She would just have to refrain Lexa from killing her ex when the time came.

 

 

 

—————

 

 

“Clarke! Slow down! The road is icy!” Abby chided as her daughter speeded down the high way. If they kept driving like this it was bound to end horribly.

 

 

“I don’t care. My baby boy has been missing for over 24 hours. The law can go fuck itself for all I care. I- I just want my baby back” Clarke said, her voice cracking slightly as she spoke. She was so close. They were so close to finding him. If speeding was what she had to do, then so be it.

 

 

“Honey, if you get us killed on the way you won’t get your baby back, and Lexa will kill me again for letting you be so reckless. So please, for the love of your family, slow down. We will get there. Just please?” I can’t lose you too. Abby pleaded, placing a hand over her daughter’s. Clarke looked over at her mother, the fear in her eyes changed her demeanor.

 

 

“Okay, I’m sorry. I- I didn’t mean to worry you.” The blonde whispered as she slowed down. She could feel her mother relax beside her.

 

 

“Thank you.” Abby said and looked out the window. The traffic was starting to get worse nearing the afternoon rush. “We will find him, Clarke. I know we will. We have to.”

 

 

“Mom...” Clarke started as she saw a few tears dripping from her mother’s eyes.

 

“I’m sorry... I’m sorry- I just.. I feel so horrible. You were doing so fine, so great! And then I- I come and fuck it all up. I’m so sorry honey. I can’t even begin to imagine how you must feel right now. I can’t... if this happened to me... if someone took you.. god I. I can’t begin to imagine how horrible this is for you. And the fact that it’s my fault.. my fault that he- that he’s gone- I can’t. I’m the worst grandma in the world. I shouldn’t have turned my back. I should have never turned my back to him... if I had just paid attention... I- he, he would be here now. He would be here, and safe and fine and together with his family.” Abby said and let all her emotions out. She hated that she had done this to her daughter.

 

 

Clarke just let her mother have a moment. Letting her pour everything out. She didn’t blame her mother for the disappearance of her son. Not in the slightest. How was she to know that this was going to happen? It could have happened to anyone, even her or Lexa.

 

 

They sat a few moments in silence. Just breathing.

 

 

“Mom, I don’t blame you. Okay. You couldn’t have known this was going to happen. No way, Okay. Don’t be so hard on yourself... I’m only angry at the person who did this... ” The blonde said softly, trying to comfort her mother. She couldn’t imagine the guilt her mom was feeling, had been feeling for the past 25 and a half hours.

 

 

“He has to be okay... when we find him. He has to. I can’t live with myself if I— if he’s not... if he’s not alright. I would never forgive myself.” Abby whispered and stared at her hands.

 

 

 

——————

 

 

 

“Costia! You fucking bitch! I know you’re home! If you don’t open this damn door, right now! I will tear it down with my bare hands! Do you hear me!!? You’ll wish you never were born!!” Lexa screamed as she slammed her fist against the door, shaking the wall with every hit.

 

 

“Geez Lex... I never expected to hear such words from my former teacher” Raven said with a smirk, trying to lighten the mood. Lexa sent her a glare, shutting her up quickly.

 

 

“OPEN! THE! DAMN! DOOR!!!” Lexa shouted as she kicked it with every word.

 

 

She had been banging at the door for nearly ten minutes with no one opening it. She was so close to just tearing the whole thing down. Just kicking it in.

 

“Lexa, maybe she’s not here?” Raven said and Lexa’s eyes widened as she stared at her. “I mean, it would be painfully obvious. To be home, with a stolen baby. Don’t you think? This would be the first place for anyone to look. It’s been forty minutes since she was last seen. She could be anywhere now” The Latina said sadly as she watched Lexa. The expression on the brunette’s face dead heartbreaking, as if that thought hadn’t crossed her mind at all.

 

 

Lexa had been so filled with hope, hope that her son would be closer than she thought. Hope that they would find him sooner. She hadn’t thought about the fact that maybe Costia was smarter than she thought. That she would go somewhere else.

 

 

They heard the sound of sirens outside followed by someone running up the stairs. Police and FBI agents filled the hallway.

 

 

“Step aside.” One of them said as he started hammering on the door.

 

 

“COSTIA GREENE! This is the police! Open the door!” He yelled repeatedly. He gestured for the FBI to come over and seconds later they broke down the door.

 

 

To Lexa’s horror, the apartment was empty. There was no one there. Not one single person. She walked inside, carefully looking around as the police searched the place.

 

 

She stopped near the couch, a tear slipping from her eye. Ethan’s onesie, among with his sweater and a pair of baby socks laid on it. Her son had been here. In this room. He had been there. And she was too late.

 

They were so close. So damn close to finding him. And now he was gone again. They were back to start, with no idea where to look.

 

Lexa grabbed the baby clothes and walked out of there. She couldn’t be there. It was too painful..

 

 

“Lexa?” Raven said softly as the brunette walked outside again. She completely ignored the Latina and walked outside, tears streaming down her face.

 

 

“Lexa!?” Raven shouted as she ran after her, catching up as they reached the car.

 

 

“We were too late... we were too late” Lexa whispered as she shook her head from side to side. Raven looked at the items Lexa was clutching in her hands. A few tears escaping her own eyes. Her godson had been there.

 

 

“Is he... is he...?” Raven asked carefully, not wanting to know the answer. She couldn’t even bring herself to finish her question.

 

 

“I don’t know... I don’t know, Rae” The brunette said sadly, looking down at the onesie. I love my mommies. It felt like the print was mocking her. Laughing her in the face.

 

 

“Lex, it will be okay. He will be okay. We will find him. I promise...” Raven said and placed a hand on her shoulder.

 

 

 

 

——————

 

 

Clarke pulled up at the apartment complex. They immediately spotted Lexa’s car and she pulled to a stop next to her. She hurried out of the car and knocked on the window of Lexa’s car.

 

 

“Lexa?” Clarke asked hopefully, but her face fell as soon as she saw the brunette’s face. Oh no. This was not happening.

 

 

“He’s not here” Lexa sniffled as she stepped out of the car. “Clarke.. I’m sorry.. I’m so sorry. I really thought he’d be here. I -“ Lexa said as she pulled Clarke in for a hug. “I’m sorry... the only thing here was his clothes.” Lexa whispered as Clarke broke down in her arms. The sobs that escaped her girlfriend shook her whole body, and they both fell to the ground, Lexa keeping Clarke in a tight embrace.

 

 

“I’m sorry, love.”

 

“We will find him”

 

“I promise, we’ll find him”

 

“I love you so much.”

 

 

Lexa murmured into blonde hair, kissing her head as her own tears soaked blonde hair.

 

 

 

Abby came walking over, heartbroken expression on her face as she spotted her daughter, the way she was breaking piece by piece in her lovers arms.

 

Raven stepped outside of the car and walked over to the older woman, embracing her tightly as her tears fell down.

 

 

“He’s not here, Abby. I’m sorry” The Latina said softly as she gently stroked her back.

 

 

Clarke cast a glance up at her mother, and she could see what she was thinking, the self destructive thoughts running through her mind.

 

 

 

“Mom...” The blonde croaked and Abby stepped over towards her daughter, crouching down in front of her. She carefully wrapped her arms around both Clarke and Lexa and hugged them tight.

 

 

“I’m so sorry, girls.... I wish... I wish I could go back in time.. and just- just yell at myself to pay attention to him.. I’m so, So sorry” she whispered as she listened to their quiet sobs.

 

They sat like that for what felt like hours.

 


	5. The words we didn’t say

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here you go! Chapter five! After this the story will pick up its pace a little. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy. 
> 
>  
> 
> Im sorry if there’s any mistakes

Three days. It had been three days of desperate searching. Three days since Ethan was last seen alive in the park. Three days of constant anxiety and sleepless nights. Three damn days! And they still had no clues to where he was. The government had been sending out amber alerts to every state along the west coast. They had been tracking Costias bank card and transactions, following closely. The biggest problem was that every time they came close to catching her, she disappeared and someone would send in a tip further away. 

 

“Clarke?” Lexa said softly as she sat down next to her on the couch. The blonde had been staring blankly out the window for the past two hours and she was starting to get worried. “Baby... I.. please. Look at me” she spoke gently and placed a soft hand on Clarke’s knee, trying to get her attention.

 

Clarke turned her head slowly, staring at her with a blank expression. “Hey... I think you should try to eat something soon. You haven’t touched any food all day” Lexa said slowly as she placed a plate of French toast in front of the blonde. Clarke completely ignored it and stared back out the window. 

 

“Clarke, please...” The brunette sighed softly looking down at her hands. She was afraid that the blonde would burst out the feelings she was keeping bottled up inside if she pushed to much. She really didn’t want to deal with an angry girlfriend on top of their sons disappearance. It was bad as it was. 

She hadn’t been able to sleep for more than half an hour at a time. Afraid that if she slept for too long, she would miss something important. The constant fear of bad news or officers showing up at their door to tell them the worst case scenarios. 

Lexa placed a hand on Clarke’s shoulder, only for the blonde to push it off. The girl was starting to annoy her with her childish behavior. They had barely spoken to each other since the blonde broke down in her arms yesterday. Was Clarke tired of her? Done with their relationship? The thought made her feel sick.

 

She retracted her arm slowly and sighed before she got up. She knew she should just keep her mouth shut, but she couldn’t keep her own emotions at bay any longer. She had tried. She had really tried to be strong, be there for Clarke during this, but everything has a breaking point. 

 

“Fine... when you’re done acting like a brat you can come find me upstairs so you can tell me what’s got you in a zombie like state.” She said before she turned to walk away. 

 

Clarke was not happy with that comment. The fact that Lexa called her a brat, during this time, it hurt. It really hurt, and she wasn’t going to take that blow. 

 

“I’m acting like a brat?” Clarke said coldly as she got up from the couch. Lexa froze in her step, slowly turning around to look at the blonde.

 

“Yes! You are... have been for the past few hours! I’ve been patient. I’ve tried to keep you pleased by keeping my distance but at the same time staying just in arms reach to comfort you! And you won’t even look at me! Our son is missing for Christ sake! And you can’t even bring yourself to look at your girlfriend! I’m done! Clarke! I don’t know what you want from me at this point! I really don’t! So if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be upstairs!” Lexa yelled out. She was tired of the way Clarke had been treating her. So fucking tired. Their relationship always felt one sided in these situations. Lexa always took the fall, always apologized, always did her best to keep Clarke happy. When was the blonde gonna ask her the same? Treat her the same way? 

 

“Well maybe he wouldn’t be missing if you had just told me about the run in with Finn that day!! Did you ever think about that!? Did you!? He could be here right now! Lexa! But no! He’s gone! He is gone and we can’t even be sure that he will come back!! We can’t even know if he is alive at this point!!! All of this could have been avoided if you had just grown some balls and told me what happened! So don’t come up in my face and yell at me for being a brat!” Clarke finally burst. She didn’t mean it. She really didn’t, but she took her anger towards Costia and Finn out on her girlfriend. Her sweet girlfriend who never did anything but love her and try to make her happy. 

 

Lexa looked like she had been slapped across the face and had her heart ripped out at the same time. “So you’re saying that it’s- that it’s my fault?” She asked as she averted her eyes. She had been thinking it. All since they got the phone call from Abby. But the fact that Clarke had been thinking it too?

 

When Clarke saw the pained expression on her girlfriend’s face she froze. The tears that were forming in those green beautiful eyes were all her fault. She did this. 

 

“No, Lexa I didn’t mean...” she said softly as she took a few steps towards her. Lexa put her hand up, shaking her head before grabbing her car keys off the counter, turning around and walking towards the front door. 

 

“Yes you did..” Lexa whispered sadly. More to herself than Clarke, but the blonde heard her. 

 

“Lexa, I’m sorry. Baby. Where are you going?” Clarke asked worriedly as she followed after the brunette. Lexa just ignored her as the tears escaped her eyes. She needed to get out of there. Just take a break from the tragic reality and take some time to breathe. 

 

“Lexa you can’t just drive like this” the blonde tried to reason as she followed her to the car. She couldn’t let Lexa leave like this. It was dangerous to drive when you were emotionally affected by something. 

 

“Yes I can” Lexa said stubbornly as she opened the car door. Refusing to look at Clarke. She knew that if she did, the blonde would make her stay, and she couldn’t. She couldn’t do that. She needed to take a breather, clear her head. 

 

“Lexa!” Clarke shouted with her own tears as the brunette got in the car. Slamming the door shut before taking off, leaving the blonde in the driveway alone. 

 

——————

 

“Lexa please... just answer me. It has been two hours. I can’t take this anymore. Please just let me know you’re okay? I didn’t mean it... what I said earlier... I would never ever mean that. You’re such a good mama. Of course this isn’t your fault. You couldn’t have known this was going to happen. Please call me back... I love you” Clarke murmured as the tears streamed down her face.

Lexa had been gone for two hours. Not a word from her. Clarke knew she deserved it, the silent treatment. But it was awful. She couldn’t function properly without knowing that at least her girlfriend was okay. She couldn’t lose them both. Not now. Not ever.

 

She had been calling thirteen times the past hour. The ache in her chest growing for every minute the brunette was away. 

 

“Clarke, just give her some time, okay. You straight up blamed her for the disappearance of your son.” Harper said as she walked into the kitchen. The blonde had come over after Clarke had cried to her over the phone. 

 

“I know what I did Harper!” Clarke snapped before her shoulders slumped and her eyes started to water again. “I’m sorry” she sighed quietly as she looked over at the girl.

“I know you are Griffin. It’s okay” Harper said softly as she sat down next to her. “She will come back when she’s ready.” She tried to comfort her.

 

“I don’t know Harper... she - she was pretty upset when she stormed off. I’ll need to apologize my ass off to fix this. I know I have to. I can’t lose her. I can’t. She’s one of the best things that has ever happened to me” Clarke sniffled as she tried to dry her tears. 

 

———————

 

“...happen. Please call me back... I love you” 

Lexa listened to the voicemail Clarke had left her. She was currently sitting in her car at the parking lot on campus. She had been crying for the past two hours, leaving her dehydrated. Clarke’s voice tugged at her heartstrings. Her heart screaming at her to just go back home to the blonde. 

 

She wouldn’t do it. She wouldn’t cave that quickly. She had to be strong and stand her ground. She didn’t care if Clarke was angry at her for disappearing. The blonde had straight up told her that she was to blame for EJs disappearance, and it hurt. She had come back here to maybe gather some answers that she was unable to find. 

 

She slammed her fist against the wheel. Accidentally honking the horn. She jumped slightly at loud noise, spotting something in the distance. She squinted her eyes to try to catch a better glimpse. 

 

It was a woman who was walking with a stroller, looking really nervous as she anxiously walked on the sidewalk about seventy feet away. When the woman turned her head in the direction of the car, Lexa gasped before she quickly jumped out of the car. 

 

Oh god. Was this it? Could this really be it? Had she finally found them?

 

She sprinted towards the woman, who looked eerily similar to Costia. As she got closer she could tell that it was in fact her ex girlfriend, taking a stroll with her baby. Her son. As if it was perfectly normal. She saw red. 

 

“Costia! You piece of shit!” Lexa shouted as she launched at her, tackling her to the ground. The woman had dyed her hair red, to stay hidden and hiding under the radar.

Costias eyes widened in horror as Lexa pinned her to the ground, punching her right in the face making her scream. 

 

“How could you!? How could you do this!?” Lexa screamed as she landed punch after punch on her. Her knuckles were still bruised and sore from punching Finn a few days ago. She didn’t care about the pain. Not at all. All she could focus on was trying to inflict the pain this woman had caused them, making her feel it every time her fist connected with her body. 

 

“Cheating on me wasn’t enough for you!? Huh! You just had to do something like this! Didn’t you!? Because you’re a psycho bitch!! Why can’t you just leave me and my friends and my family the fuck alone!!” She roared at her making her flinch. She was glad that the school property was empty at this hour. This would look really bad on her behalf if a student or teacher spotted this moment. 

 

Costia tried to block her face from the punches, failing miserably. Lexa was pretty sure she had broken some of her teeth at this point. She knew she had to control herself, she really had to. She couldn’t go to jail. Not because of her ex. No. She landed one more punch, knocking her out effectively before she stood up and walked over to the stroller.

 

She carefully looked inside and her heart burst with joy as she laid eyes on her baby. Her sweet baby boy who was sleeping soundly, unaware of the cruelty of this world. She dried off the blood on her hands on her jeans, cleaning her hands as best as she could before picking up the sleeping baby. 

 

“Hi EJ” she cooed softly as she gently picked him up, crying at the feeling of finally finding her baby boy and having him in her arms. This was almost too good to be true. “It’s okay baby boy. It’s okay... shh... mama got you.” Lexa whispered as she placed soft kissed to his head. She promised herself that she would never let anything like this happen to their son ever again. Not if she could prevent it. 

 

She grabbed the blanket and wrapped the baby in it, before walking back to her car to retrieve her phone to dial and notify the police. 

 

——————

 

Clarke woke up from her sleep by the sound of someone hammering at her door. She had been sleeping for half an hour, and she had no idea how much she needed that. She grumpily stood up from the couch and started walking towards the hallway.

“Coming!” She yelled as she walked into the hallway. She nearly toppled over when Raven literally burst through the door, nearly sending her crashing on her ass. “Dammit Raven!”  
The blonde yelled. She was confused by the Latinas behavior. 

 

“Clarke! She found him” Raven said excitedly as she helped the blonde up.

 

“What?” Clarke asked with furrowed brows, not understanding what her friend meant. 

 

“Lexa. She found him! She found EJ! She tried to call you, but you didn’t pick up so she sent me here to get you. They’re at the hospital” Raven explained and Clarke’s eyes widened. She ran back into the living room and she indeed had seven missed calls from her girlfriend. 

 

“Really? Are they okay?” Clarke asked hopefully. If Raven was joking now she would actually have a mental breakdown. 

 

“Really. We have to go now Okay? You’ll get to see you baby boy again. He’s okay.” Raven smiled widely at her and Clarke had never ran so fast in her life, ever. They took off down the street and rushed over to the hospital to meet with Lexa and Ethan. 

 

Clarke couldn’t believe that her girlfriend actually managed to find their baby. She felt so bad for yelling at her earlier, and promised herself to try her best to make it up to her. No matter how hard it was going to be. 

 

——————

 

Clarke ran through the halls of the hospital, desperately trying to get to Lexa and their baby boy. She had notified her mother to let her and Marcus know that they had found EJ. Their friends were also on their way. 

 

Clarke stopped outside the room, taking a few seconds to breathe and gather her emotions. She wasn’t sure how the brunette would react once she walked through those doors, but she couldn’t care about that. Ethan was on the other side too, her sweet baby boy. 

 

She opened the door quickly, walking through. Once her eyes locked into Lexa on the check up table with their baby in her arms, all her cares in the world disappeared. She knew that nothing else mattered except for this moment. She locked eyes with Lexa and she couldn’t keep her tears back. They rolled down her cheeks as she walked over to her little family. 

 

“Clarke” Lexa smiled up at her with tears in her eyes. She scooted over to let the blonde sit beside her as she handed the baby over to the blonde. Clarke eagerly took him in her arms and placed kisses all over him as she hugged him close to her body. Letting her tears fall freely. Their baby was home again. He was home and perfectly fine and she couldn’t be more happy than in this moment. 

 

“Oh my sweet baby boy.. my sweet sweet little baby” she murmured as she gently rocked in back and forth, relishing in the feeling of finally holding her baby in her arms again. She turned her head towards Lexa who just looked at her with sad eyes. 

 

“Lexa... I’m so sorry. I’m so incredibly sorry... I didn’t mean to take my anger out on you. I had no right to do so. You’ve been nothing but supportive and perfect and just amazing during all of this and you didn’t deserve what I did. I love you so so much, baby. I can’t begin to show you how sorry I am. You’re everything to me. You and EJ. I just.. I’m so sorry. I never want to hurt you like that again” Clarke told her, her voice cracking as she spoke. She could see the trembling of the brunette’s lips. It was something that rarely happened and she couldn’t control the painful clenching of her heart. 

 

“Clarke...” Lexa spoke softly as she placed a hand on the blondes arm. She wanted to tell her that it was okay. That she forgave her. That she loves her more than anything. But the words were stuck in her throat. She couldn’t bring herself to say anything. She was still so hurt from Clarke’s words earlier. She tried to wipe the tears from her eyes before they fell, but she couldn’t catch them all.

 

“It’s okay, it’s okay... y- you don’t have to say anything. I understand. I do. I know you’re angry at me. You have every right to be... I’m the worst girlfriend ever. God. I’ve been so selfish. I never stopped to think about how you were feeling. I should have been there for you too. You were right... I was acting like a fucking brat... I just.. I hope that you some day will be able to forgive me. I don’t care if it is today, or tomorrow or a month from now. Okay? You don’t owe me anything. I’ll do everything I can to make this right. I promise. You mean so much to me.” Clarke said as she leaned down to kiss the hand resting on her arm. 

 

They sat in silence for a few moments. Lexa taking in the words Clarke had spoken. She really just wanted to forgive her and be done with it. Go back to normal and just kiss her like their fight never happened. But she needed Clarke to understand they had to treat each other as equals for their relationship to work. She couldn’t take the fall every time something bad happened to them. That wasn’t healthy. 

 

“How did you find him?” Clarke asked softly as she stroked Ethan’s cheek with her thumb. Feeling the soft skin. 

 

“I— Uhm... I was parked on my spot at school and I.. I saw Costia just walking as if nothing was wrong. She had dyed her hair.. red... I didn’t recognize her at first, but then something clicked. I... I got out of the car and I just. I lost control. I just wanted to kill... there was this voice inside me just screaming at me to kill her there and them. I didn’t... but I wanted to... she’s unconscious in one of the rooms down the hallway. I broke her jaw and cheek bone. Ethan was in the stroller... I just picked him up and then called the police. And you...” Lexa explained and Clarke just placed a hand over Lexa’s, gently running her thumb over her bruised knuckles. 

 

“I’m so sorry... Lexa.. I would have answered. I- I fell asleep on the couch from crying. I just... I couldn’t deal with you being gone without knowing you were okay... I was so worried, but I knew you needed some time alone. I love you... I really really love you. I’m so glad that you are okay. And the fact that you found EJ... I really don’t deserve someone like you” Clarke sniffled as she looked over at her girlfriend.

 

“Don’t... don’t say that.. I- I... I’m just happy that EJ is here. That he’s okay... we’ll be okay, Clarke. I know we will.” Lexa said as she wrapped her arms around them, enveloping her little family in a sweet embrace.


	6. Merry Christmas??

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for not uploading this soner. I guess i just got really anxious to do it. I’ve had to deal with a lot of unexpected anxiety episodes (is that a thing?) lately and ai just didn’t feel like posting this chapter.
> 
> Anyways! It’s here! Chapter six! And I am so sorry for how bad this is. I have no idea what I am doing... 
> 
>  
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

«No! Lexa, what the hell? I get that I messed up okay, I do, but... not spending Christmas together?” Clarke asked exasperatedly as she paced back and forth in their house. Lexa couldn’t be serious now? Could she? They had been home for a little over two weeks, barely speaking to each other. It was decided to push the trial till after the winter holidays to let things calm down and be cleared up by the police, which they were thankful for because they wouldn’t have to deal with this for a few extra weeks.

 

“Clarke... I.. it’s for the bes-“

 

“Don’t even try to finish that sentence, Lexa. How can you say all of this!? It’s Ethan’s first Christmas for fucks sake! His first Christmas... shouldn’t he be able to be with both his mommies? I get that you’re mad and upset with me. You have every right to be, but- but I... I don’t know how to process this. I don’t understand what I have to do to make things better. I’ve apologized a thousand times, I’ve kept my distance from you. I even slept in the guest bedroom, Lex. Two nights in a row now because I can tell that you’re uncomfortable whenever you’re around me.” Clarke said as she looked at her girlfriend. It broke her heart that Lexa was unable to keep eye contact for more than a few seconds. 

 

“Clarke, please... I- I know this is hard for you, for the both of us. But please... I.. I just need some time, okay? Besides, we can just share him during Christmas. You can have him at your mothers place for a few days and then he’ll be here with me and my parents for a few days.” Lexa tried to explain. She hated that she was hurting Clarke now, but she needed some distance. Ever since they got home they had slowly been starting to drift apart, and Lexa was slowly losing control over herself. She hated the person she was slowly turning into and she needed some time to figure things out with herself. 

 

Clarke just stared at her for a long time. What started of as seconds of silence slowly turned into minutes before Clarke shook her head and sat down on the armrest of the couch. She put her head in her hands and rubbed her temples softly. There was really no point in arguing with Lexa at this point, because the brunette seemed to have made up her mind already. 

 

She slowly stood up and silently walked past Lexa and up the stairs. If her girlfriend wanted space, she was going to get all the space she needed. She walked into Ethan’s nursery and silently watched their baby sleep soundly. She found his diaper bag and started to pack it quietly, putting different things she may need. Even though Ethan had some stuff at Abby’s place, she still needed to pack some of his clothes and baby products just in case. 

 

Clarke walked across the hallway and into her and Lexa’s room to retrieve most of her clothes only to shove them into a suitcase she was pretty sure was Lexa’s. She couldn’t bring herself to care at the moment though. It was a little under a week until Christmas Eve, and she sure as hell was not going to spend them here in their guest bedroom. She sat down on the bed for a few minutes, trying to calm herself down.

 

She calmly walked down the stairs and to the entrance of the house, retrieving Ethan’s car seat from where they last left it. She could feel Lexa’s questioning gaze, but none of them said anything as Clarke slowly made her way back upstairs again. 

 

She carefully lifted EJ out of his bed without waking him up and gently placed him in the car seat. She could hear soft foot steps walking up the stairs and a few tears began to form in her eyes. She quickly tried to wipe them away before she tucked a blanket over the sleeping baby. 

 

She nearly jumped out of her skin when she turned around and stood face to face with Lexa. She set the car seat down on the floor as she watched Lexa look at her. 

“Clarke...” Lexa tried. She could tell that Clarke had just been crying. She had no idea what to tell her girlfriend, but she knew that they needed this. That she needed this. She didn’t expect the blonde to leave this fast though. 

 

Clarke just stared at her hands as she twirled the ring on her finger. She shifted her gaze up to meet Lexa’s and she couldn’t stop her tears from falling anymore. “It’s okay... I..” Clarke croaked as she swallowed hard, trying to get her emotions under control. “I love you... And if you need space, then I.. I will give you the time and space you need.” The blonde said softly as she studied Lexa’s face. The brunette’s lip was trembling slightly and Clarke cupped her left cheek as she leaned forward to place a soft kiss on her other cheek.

 

She carefully took the ring off her finger and placed it in Lexa’s hands and Lexa nearly choked. 

 

“C-Clarke?” The brunette stuttered as she held her grandmothers engagement ring in her hands. The ring she had given to Clarke in the hospital after Ethan was born. The ring she proposed with to the love of her life. 

 

“I’m still your girlfriend, if you want me to be after all of this... but it.. it doesn’t feel right to wear it when you can barely bring yourself to look at me. I just.. it doesn’t feel right” Clarke whispered, not trusting her voice enough to speak normally. 

 

“Clarke I..” Lexa said as she swallowed hard. This was not what she meant when she said she needed some space. She hated that she was unable to bring herself to say those three little words. “Please.. don’t... not the ring, I- I want you to have it. To wear it... this is not what I meant when I said I needed some time” Lexa croaked as she watched Clarke’s tears fall freely. 

 

“I know.. baby, I know. I just... it hurts to look at it, when I know that you can barely look at me. I can take it back when you’ve figured things out, okay? But I just can’t wear it now. It’s painful” Clarke whispered and Lexa nodded dejectedly. The brunette crouched down in front of Ethan’s car seat and pressed a soft kiss to chubby little cheeks. 

 

“Can I at least drop you off at Abby’s house?” Lexa sniffled as she stood up. She was scared that the blonde might say no, but she sighed in relief when Clarke nodded her head. 

 

They quietly made their way downstairs and got into the car. They spent the car ride in silence, Clarke looking out the window the whole two minutes it took to drive down to Abby’s house. Clarke quietly got out and opened the back door to get Ethan. She gently lifted the seat out and slowly made her way up to the front door where Abby stood to greet them. 

 

“Hi honey, how are you feeling?” Abby asked softly as she embraced her daughter in a hug. 

 

Lexa slowly made her way up to the front door. She felt kind of awkward as she stood there fumbling with her fingers as Clarke spoke to her mother. Abby gently took the car seat with EJ in it and sent Lexa a sad smile before she walked inside.

 

“So...” Clarke said as she turned around to face Lexa. “How are we gonna do this?” The blonde asked softly as she wrapped her arms around herself to keep herself from freezing. 

 

“Uhm... I- I was thinking, maybe you get him from today until Christmas Eve, and then I can have him on Christmas morning and a few days after that?” Lexa said as she took a step closer to her girlfriend. 

 

Clarke nodded her head as she took a step closer to Lexa, not really sure what to do. “Yeah, That could work” the blonde said softly. She hated that she wouldn’t be able to spend Christmas with her girlfriend, but if Lexa thought it was for the best, she was not going to argue anymore with her. 

 

“I uh... I guess I’ll see you later” Lexa said awkwardly as she gently wrapped her arms around Clarke, relishing the feeling of having the blonde in her arms. The hug lasted longer than Clarke had expected and she was a little disappointed when she pulled away. This was so different than last year.

 

Lexa cast her a soft smile before she turned to walk back to her car. Clarke’s heart rate picked up as she watched her girlfriend walk away from her. Before she knew what was happening she took off sprinting after her. 

 

“Lexa wait” 

 

The brunette turned around slowly just in time to catch Clarke as the blonde landed in her arms. “I’ll miss you” Clarke whispered into brown locks as she hugged her tight. 

 

“I’ll miss you too... I just need some time...” Lexa whispered back and Clarke nodded her head. “I know” Clarke murmured and they stood like that for a few more moments. Lexa was slightly starting to regret her decision, but she needed at least one day to herself. She had to figure out where her anger came from, and what caused her to lose her shit on Costia and Finn. She was afraid that if she couldn’t figure it out, she would somehow end up hurting her family and that was the last thing she wanted. 

 

“ I’ll see you later?” Clarke said as they parted for a second time. 

 

“Yeah, yeah I’ll call you before I come to pick EJ up on Christmas morning” Lexa said softly before she stepped into her car. 

 

Clarke stood in the driveway and watched as Lexa drove off down the street. She hated Lexa’s decision to spend Christmas separately, but she understood. Her girlfriend had a lot to deal with at the moment and she was going to let her deal with it. She just hoped Lexa would talk to her about it once she had figured it out. 

 

———————

 

Three days. It had been three days without Clarke and Ethan, and Lexa was an emotional mess. She was literally the worst decision maker ever. The first half day was okay, because she had some time to think, but now? Now she just wanted her family to be here with her. Why did she think this was a good idea? 

 

“Lexa, just call her... it’s been three days and you’ve been sitting here moping since I walked through the door” Anya groaned from where she was sitting beside her cousin.

“I know how long it’s been” The brunette mumbled as she paused the documentary she had been watching. “And I’m not moping...”. It was two days until Christmas and she realized she still had Clarke’s present hidden upstairs. She was too afraid to go over to Abby’s house to give Clarke her present because she knew that the second she saw her girlfriend again she wouldn’t be able to go back here. 

“Yeah, you are” Anya scoffed at her. 

She missed having them home. The sound of EJ’s cute baby gurgles, and Clarke’s scent next to her in bed. She had regretted her decision the second she left Clarke in the driveway. What had she been thinking? She needed time to figure out herself, but wouldn’t it be better to figure things out with the blonde instead? 

 

Of course it would. Who was she kidding. 

 

“Lexa? Where did your head go?” Anya asked as she waved a hand in front of her face. 

 

“I need to see her, and Ethan. I just need to be with them.” Lexa said simply as she stared at the black TV screen. 

 

“Yeah, you do. Now get your ass off of the couch and go talk to your girlfriend like an adult.” Anya said and playfully hit her shoulder. 

 

Lexa stood up abruptly and ran up the stairs to their bedroom. She quickly change into something more presentable before she grabbed Clarke’s gift from the back of her closet. She then ran into their guest bedroom to retrieve the gifts for Ethan too. 

 

“Anya, lets go.” Lexa shouted as she passed the living room and went out the door. Anya just chuckled as she followed her cousin out the door. 

 

———————

 

Cheekbones: Hey Reyes. Just letting you know that me and Lexa are landing in 15 - 14 - 13...

 

Raven glanced down at her phone screen with wide eyes. She was cuddling with EJ on the couch, Clarke sitting next to them and laughing at the way her best friend acted around her god son. The blonde furrowed her brows when she saw the expression on the Latinas face. 

 

“Raven, what’s wrong?” Clarke asked as she sat up more straight. 

 

“Uhm, we might have a problem.. Lexa and Anya will be here in-“ Raven started but halted when the doorbell rang. “They’re here”.

 

“What? Why? Did something happen?” The blonde asked worriedly as she got up and walked towards the entrance. She opened the door and stood face to face with her girlfriend who looked disheveled and out of breath. 

 

“Lexa?” 

 

“Hey, Sorry... I. I just had to see you” Lexa said out of breath as Anya came walking up behind her. Clarke smiled softly at her as she stepped aside, letting them inside. Anya walked right into the living room, leaving the couple alone. 

 

“Where is Abby and Marcus?” Lexa asked, not sure how to start this conversation. They had barely spoken to each other through text messages for the past three days. 

 

“My mom is working a shift at the hospital, and Marcus is out doing very late Christmas shopping.” Clarke explained as she slowly made her way to the kitchen. Lexa followed suit.   
They sat down around the kitchen table and just stared at each other.

 

“Clarke I’m sorry-“

 

“How are you-“

 

They both said at the same time but stopped abruptly. “You go first” Clarke said and placed a gentle hand on her arm. 

 

“I’m sorry for just showing up like this. I just had to see you... you were right. Spending Christmas apart is a horrible idea. I know I said I had to work some things out, but I miss you guys so much.. and I.. If it’s not too much to ask, I would like for you to help me figure out this problem I have?” Lexa asked softly, her voice wavering slightly. 

 

Clarke drew in a breath of relief as she scooted closer to the woman she love. “Of course I’ll help you... Lexa... I’m always here for you, Okay? I know I was being a bitter bitch when I blamed you for EJ’s disappearance, but I had no right to do that. It was wrong of me. I hope that you’re able to trust me enough to tell me what’s bothering you.... And I’m sorry for making a rash decision to leave so fast when you wanted us to spend Christmas apart.” Clarke said softly as she gently rubbed comforting circles on the brunette’s arm. 

 

“You’re not a bitch, Clarke. Don’t ever say that.. please. And I do trust you... with my life. I don’t know what’s wrong with me but I have the temper of a drunken sailor when I get overly emotional, and I don’t ever want to hurt you or Ethan. That’s part of why I wanted to spend the holiday apart... I don’t want to hurt you if I suddenly lose my temper or get angry” Lexa murmured as she leaned her head on the blondes shoulder.

 

“Lexa... will you please stay?” Clarke asked as she leaned back to look at her girlfriend. “I know you made plans with your parents, but you can invite them over here? And it will be like last year, when my mom totally fried my brain by going behind my back to invite you over” the blonde chuckled and Lexa nodded her head. 

 

“Yeah, of course. I’ll let my parents know. Are you sure you want me here though?” Lexa asked softly as she studied the blonde. She would perfectly understand if the blonde didn’t, but she hoped that she would let her stay. 

 

“Are you kidding me? Of course I want you to stay here.” Clarke smiled widely at her and enveloped her in a hug before placing a kiss to her cheek.

 

They walked into the living room to join the others again, and Lexa smiled when she saw her son again. 

 

“Hi baby” she cooed as Raven handed him over to her. “Hey... I missed you” she murmured softly as she bounced him back and forth. 

 

“He missed you too” Clarke said as she wrapped her arms around them. Their cute little family moment was ruined by Ravens gagging noises seconds later. She sent her friend a playful glare. 

 

“Ugh, you guys are so gay after you’ve been fighting” the Latina said only to get hit by a pillow from Anya seconds later. “Oh well, at least you’ll spend Christmas together?” She asked and fixed them with a pointed look. 

 

“Yeah, definitely” Lexa said as she kissed to top of Ethan’s head. He was nearly at the point where he could hold his head up by himself. He was growing so fast. 

 

—————

 

Lexa gently put Ethan down in the bassinet placed in Clarke’s room. It had been a while since he had laid there, and he was starting to outgrow it slightly. It bothered her how fast he was growing, she didn’t want her baby boy to grow up yet. 

 

“Lex... are you okay?” Clarke asked softly as she walked out from the bathroom. She carefully wrapped her arms around the brunette and Lexa sank into her touch. 

 

“Yeah, I’m fine. It’s just... he’s growing up so fast” The brunette answered as she turned around in Clarke’s arms. Her eyes drifted down to soft pink lips before going back up to ocean blue eyes. Clarke was gazing at her curiously, waiting to see what the brunette would do. 

 

“Clarke?”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“May I kiss you?” 

 

“Yeah, of course.. you don’t have to ask to do that” Clarke murmured as she gently pressed their lips together. 

 

Lexa melted into the kiss and tenderly wrapped her arms around her girlfriend. She couldn’t remember the last time they shared a kiss together. It had been at least three weeks, way too long. 

 

“I didn’t want to assume..” The brunette mumbled softly against her lips, pecking them once more before breaking their kiss. 

 

“ I really missed doing that” Clarke whispered as she toyed with the collar of Lexa’s shirt. 

 

“Hmm... me too” Lexa whispered and went to lay down on the bed. “Come cuddle with me?” She asked hopefully and Clarke’s face broke into a huge grin. She climbed into the bed and snuggled close to her girlfriend. Lexa wrapped her arms around her pulling her impossibly closer. 

 

“Clarke?”

 

“Yeah baby?”

 

“I.. I love you” Lexa said and Clarke could hear the trembling in her voice.

 

“I love you too” Clarke smiled before she leaned up to kiss her again. “So damn much”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any thoughts? 
> 
>  
> 
> I’m starting to realize that I have to read about law and court and all that Shit to actually manage to give you some decent future chapters... fml. But! I will do it. Hopefully. 
> 
> I know almost nothing about the American law/court system thingie so wish me luck!


	7. Wing man

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s Christmas time!! And my finals are killing me. Sorry for the wait. 
> 
>  
> 
> Again, I’m sorry if this sucks. I don’t know what I’m doing. I have only proof read once, so there is probably some mistakes, but hey, I’m only human. 
> 
>  
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

Clarke woke up to Ethan’s happy morning gurgles. Lexa was still fast asleep next to her, arm loosely draped over her waist. She carefully removed the arm trying not to wake the brunette up and silently made her way around the bed to Ethan’s bassinet. She put on her fluffy morning robe before she gently picked up the baby.

 

 

“Hey there little guy” Clarke whispered softly as she held him. It was starting to become a struggle sometimes because he had started to move more recently, touching different things and putting everything he came across in his mouth. He especially liked to puthis mommy’s hair in his mouth and make a mess.

 

“Shh, let’s not wake mama up” she cooed as they walked out of the room, closing the door behind her.

 

 

She walked downstairs and was hit with the smell of pancakes from the kitchen. She spotted Anya and Raven by the stove together and smirked as she approached them. She cleared her throat and interrupted whatever moment they had been sharing. Raven nearly jumped out of her skin, sending a pancake flying through the air.

 

 

“Jesus Griffin! Try not to kill me will ya?” The Latina said as she clutched her heart.

 

 

“Sorry, we just wanted to come and say good morning” Clarke said as she gently rocked Ethan on her arm, waving his little arm at them. The baby gurgled something incoherent at them. “And I need to get his formula from the cabinet” she added and gestured toward where she needed to go.

 

 

There was a slightly awkward silence in the room. Clarke loved it. She had been wondering when Raven and Anya would just admit their feelings towards one another, but neither of them dared to make the first move.

 

 

“Anya, would you mind holding him while I prepare his bottle?” The blonde asked softly, she could tell that the older girl wanted to protest but her shoulders slumped and she accepted the baby from her. “Thank you” she smiled sweetly at her as she walked by and grabbed the formula.

 

 

“So Clarkey, how is it going with you and Lexa?” Raven asked, trying to start some sort of conversation.

 

 

“We’re good. We talked about some stuff last night. I think we’re on good terms now at least... unless she’s having second thoughts” the blonde answered as she shook the bottle in her hand, mixing the formula together.

 

 

“Right, that’s great! Right?”

 

 

“Raven... why are you being so awkward all of a sudden?” Clarke asked with an arched brow as she studied her friend. A blush rose to her cheeks.

 

 

“Awkward? I’m not awkward, why would you say that?”

 

 

“Because you’re stuttering and asking questions about my love life” Clarke stated simply and Raven chuckled lightly. “Did I interrupt something?” Clarke asked as she studied them both.

 

“Uhm kind of-“

 

“No!”

 

 

They both said at the same time. Raven sent Anya a confused look at the fast denial. Clarke put the bottle in the heater as she smiled at them.

 

 

“Okay... anyway. I was wondering if you guys would maybe watch Ethan for a few hours today? I really want to make things up with Lexa and take her out for lunch later... and I know it’s Christmas, but that’s not an excuse to say no because the coffee shop downtown is open.” Clarke said as she removed the bottle from the heater, dripping a few droplets on her palm to test the heat.

 

 

“Uhm, well, we sort of had..” Raven started but Anya interrupted her.

 

 

“It’s okay, Clarke, we can watch him”the older girl said and Clarke smiled brightly at her.

 

 

“Thank you, it really means a lot. And besides, EJ needs to spend time with his aunties” Clarke smirked as they blushed. Though none of them were sisters, they still referred to them as Ethan’s aunts. It made things easier.

 

 

“You hear that bud? Your aunty Raerae and Anan will spend some time with you today” Clarke smiled at her baby boy as she gently took him from Anya to feed him.

 

 

“Never ever call me that again, Griffin” Anya said with a glare, but Clarke just chuckled. She knew that they didn’t mind as long as it stayed between them.

 

 

Clarke went into the living room and sat down on the couch. She gently laid Ethan in her arms and guided the bottle to his mouth. She looked into his eyes and smiled as he stared back up at her. It was scary how much his eyes looked like Lexa’s. He smiled as he ate from the bottle, spilling some of its content on himself.

 

 

“You like that, baby? Huh? You like your formula?” She cooed as she studied her son. It was fun seeing him grow and learn new things everyday. After Raven introduced him to the mirror two days ago he had been obsessed with watching it, studying himself and poking the reflection with his hands.

 

 

——————

 

 

Lexa woke up to an empty bed. She was a bit confused at first, but figured that Ethan had woken Clarke up at some point. She put on a pair of sweatpants and a loose T-shirt before making her way downstairs. The smell of pancakes and the noise in the kitchen made her realize that it was probably later than she first had thought.

 

She made her way into the kitchen and spotted Raven and Anya placing plates on the table, getting ready to serve breakfast.

 

 

“Hey guys” she smiled softly at them before she grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge. “Where’s Clarke?” She asked before taking a sip of the water.

 

“She’s in the living room with Ethan” Anya said gently and pointed towards the room. Lexa nodded her thanks before walking out of the kitchen.

 

She stopped in the door entrance and watched Clarke walking back and forth, Ethan on her arm as she tried to burp him. She watched with amusement as Clarke gently patted his back, and the way his eyes were slowly dropping before going wide at spotting his mama.

 

He squirmed a little in Clarke’s arms and the blonde looked questioningly at him. “What’s wrong baby boy?” She asked but laughed as she saw the smile on his face. “Are you smiling again, huh? Are you a happy baby boy today?” She cooed and kissed his chubby cheeks.

 

 

“He sure seems to be” Lexa said gently from where she stood, leaning against the door frame. She walked over to them and stroked Ethan’s cheek with her hand. “Good morning” The brunette murmured and placed a soft kiss on her cheek.

 

 

“Mornin’” Clarke smiled widely as she handed Ethan over. Lexa smiled brightly at him.

 

 

“Hi baby boy! Good morning” she cheered and placed kisses on his face. “How long have you been up?”

 

 

“Barely half an hour” Clarke smiled and studied them. She loved seeing Lexa with their baby. Especially now, after everything. She was dreading the trial that would take place in the beginning of the new year. Lexa had been let off with a warning twice now due to her violent behavior, and Clarke knew that it was something Costia and Finn could use against them. But then again, Lexa had never behaved like that before.

 

 

“Yo! Lovebirds! Breakfast!” Raven shouted from the kitchen.

 

 

Clarke grabbed Ethan’s bouncy chair and carried it into the kitchen. Lexa followed suit and gently placed him in the chair.

 

 

Abby and Marcus came walking down the stairs a few minutes later and they all ate breakfast together.

 

 

 

—————

 

 

“So, any reason you are dragging me around town the day before Christmas Eve?” Lexa asked with a quirked brow. They had been walking around for almost an hour, going into shops and doing a bit of window shopping. Lexa didn’t really mind, but she was a little confused because Clarke said lunch, but they were yet to do that.

 

 

“Just want to spend some quality time with my girlfriend” Clarke smiled innocently at her, lacing their fingers together. Lexa wasn’t buying it. The blonde was definitely up to something.

 

 

“Okay, anyway, my parents arrive tonight, their plane is supposed to land around nine. You want to join me picking them up from the airport?” The brunette asked as they stopped in front of another window.

 

 

“Yeah, of course.” Clarke said as she turned to look at her. “Uhm.. Lexa?”

 

 

“Yeah?”

 

 

“When we talked yesterday... you said you wanted my help to figure things out... and I.. I’ve been thinking... maybe.. maybe you should go see some specialist? I will of course help you, whatever you need, I just... in case my help is not enough? I just want what’s best for you, and I know there’s still some... I don’t know... fractures? In our relationship. And I know you have a hard time opening up about things-“

 

 

“Clarke, I.. I know. I’ve been thinking about it too. Seeing a therapist I mean. I don’t ever want to hurt you or Ethan, and I know that it looks bad, the things with Finn and Costia. I just.. I need you. I need you with me. The fear of losing you, and EJ... I- I can’t. I almost lost you twice already, and when EJ disappeared? God... I just.. something in me snapped. I don’t know how else to explain it” Lexa said and Clarke gently pulled her in for a hug.

 

 

“I know baby, I know. Just because you’ve done some questionable things doesn’t mean you’re a bad person, Okay? You’re not a bad person. You’re a great mom, and so loving and caring. Ethan adores you. The way he was smiling at you this morning... you share a special little bond. And you will never, ever, lose us, okay? Clarke said softly before pecking her lips. Lexa nodded her head and rested their foreheads together.

 

 

“So.. you gonna tell me the real reason you dragged me out today?” Lexa asked with a smirk.

 

 

“I may or may not be trying to get Anya and Rae together? Hopefully Ethan will play his part right.” Clarke said with a grin and Lexa shook her head.

 

 

——————

 

 

“I don’t know what you waaaant” Raven whined as Ethan kept crying in her arms. He had been crying nonstop for about fifteen minutes now. They were left home alone because Abby was working her last shift at the hospital before her holiday break and Marcus apparently had some errands to run.

 

 

“We’ve done everything on the list Raven. Are you sure you wrote down everything Clarke said?” Anya said as she removed the pillow from over her head.

 

 

“Yes! Playtime, bottle, burping, diaper change, nap time, but he won’t go to sleep” Raven whined, sounding just like Ethan.

 

 

“Okay, that’s it. Hand him over” Anya said as she reluctantly stood up. Raven carefully handed the baby over to a very overwhelmed Anya. “Shh, baby. Please” she said softly and laid him on his side.

 

 

“Maybe he will tire himself out?” Raven asked hopefully.

 

 

“No, he normally doesn’t do that... we should give him a bath. Maybe that will soothe him” Anya said as she walked towards the stairs. “You coming?” She asked asked the Latina and she was sure she heard Raven mutter something close to ‘I sure hope so.’

 

 

Raven placed the baby bathtub on the floor in the shower and filled it with a little water, making sure the temperature wasn’t too hot.

 

 

Anya carefully undressed him and grabbed one of his baby wash cloths before placing him in the small tub.

 

 

“How the hell do they make this seem so simple” Raven groaned as Anya crouched down next to her on the floor. She had no idea how her friends manage to take care of the baby and still manage to spend time with family and friends. It was really tiring. And they had only been watching him for two hours.

 

 

Ethan’s crying slowly subsided as Anya gently rubbed soap over his belly. Raven carefully washed his arms and legs with the cloth and made silly faces at him. A tiny smile creeped its way onto his face and Raven gasped.

 

“Are you seeing this? He’s smiling” The Latina said with disbelief as she shifted her gaze from Anya to the baby.

 

 

“Of course he is. I’m here” Anya said and Raven playfully slapped her arm, making the baby giggle. They both froze in place and shared a look.

 

 

“Has he ever done that before?” Raven asked with wide eyes.

 

“I don’t think so” Anya said, looking equally shocked. “Do it again” she whispered, and Raven hit her arm again, making Ethan giggle some more.

 

 

“Is that funny, huh?” Raven asked with a smirk and he giggled again.

 

 

They finished bathing him and Anya placed him on the towel Raven had placed on the changing table. She dried him off and oiled him up while Raven found a new diaper and some new clothes. Ethan babbled incoherently to himself as Anya carefully dressed him up in his pajamas. It was the middle of the day, but there was no way in hell she would try to put more than one piece of clothing on the baby. His parents was welcome to change him later.

 

 

“Are you talking to yourself bud?” She asked gently and she could feel Raven walk up behind her. “Is there someone behind me huh?” She asked the baby and could feel Ravens smirk. Gentle arms wrapped around her waist and a head came to rest on her shoulder.

 

 

“He’s so cute” Raven murmured as she studied her god son. He was slowly getting more tired which was really good.

 

 

“Yeah, he is” Anya said as she slowly lifted him up and gently rocked him. “We should put him in his crib” she added as his eyes started to droop. Bathing always seemed to tire him out.

She carefully placed him in the crib and tucked a blanket over his tiny body. She turned off the lights, only leaving the night light on, before walking outside to Raven again.

 

 

“Is he asleep?” She asked hopefully and Anya shook her head. “No, he is still awake, but hopefully he will fall asleep soon” The older girl whispered and looked at Raven, studying her for a moment.

 

 

“You’re really great with him” Raven whispered and inched a bit closer to her. Anya’s gaze shifted from auburn eyes to soft pink lips. She subconsciously licked her own lips as she leaned forward. Their lips was only inches apart, nearly brushing against each other... but then the universe happened and Ethan’s loud cries echoed in the air.

 

 

They broke apart with a sigh and Any went into the room again to pick the baby up. What a damn cock blocker.

 

 

“Shh, Ethan, it’s okay” she cooed as she held him close. Trying her best to calm him down again.

 

 

“You know... I don’t think he’s going to sleep any time soon” Raven sighed as she walked into the room.

 

 

“Yeah, now he’s over tired... shit.” She muttered and continued rocking the baby in her arms. “We could always introduce him to beauty and the beast ... watch a Disney classic with him, before his mamas get home and corrupt him with the lion king” Anya said and they made their way downstairs, putting the movie on.

 

They cuddled up on the couch, Ethan between them.

 

 

——————

 

 

“Thank you, for coming out with me today” Clarke said softly as they walked up to the door. They had a great time out, eating and doing a bit of Christmas shopping, buying a thank you gift for Raven and Anya.

 

 

“Yeah, of course, you’re my girlfriend Clarke, I love spending time with you” Lexa said and placed a soft kiss to her head. “Do you think they will be mad at us for leaving them alone with our son?” She asked and sent a pointed look to the blonde. Ethan could be a handful sometimes.

 

 

“No.. not at all. I hope he was playing his part right...” Clarke said as she turned the doorknob carefully. They silently walked inside and closed the door behind them. Lexa placed the bags on the floor and helped Clarke take off her jacket before taking off her own. Clarke placed a kiss to her cheek before grabbing the bags and walking into the kitchen.

 

 

Lexa slowly made her way to the living room and stopped dead in her tracks. On the couch was her cousin and Raven and baby, all cuddled up together, the sound of beauty and the beast theme playing from the tv.

 

 

“Clarke?” Lexa whispered and looked over her shoulder into the kitchen. “Clarke?” She said a bit louder and the blonde came into sight.

 

 

“What?” She asked softly as she approached and stopped with a fond smile on her face. “Aww, look at them.” She cooed and stood beside her girlfriend.

 

 

“Our son is the best wing man” Lexa smirked and Clarke laughed at her, nodding in agreement.

 

 

“Should we wake them up?” Clarke asked and Lexa shook her head. “No, god no. They probably struggled to get him to sleep. They would kill us” Lexa said and dragged Clarke into the kitchen.

 

 

“We should probably help your mother and start dinner... it will be stressful for her when she comes home from work.” The brunette said and Clarke’s heart melted. She loved that Lexa cared so much about her family.

 

 

They got to work and started making dinner together. The others still asleep in the living room.

 

 

 

——————

 

 

 

“So, when are your parents coming?” Abby asked as she stood by the sink. Doing the dishes while Lexa dried them and Clarke placed them.

 

 

“I’m.. we are going to pick them up from the airport in an hour” Lexa smiled softly at her. She could tell that Abby was happy that she and Clarke figured things out and decided to spend the holidays together.

 

 

“That’s great. I will have the guest room ready for when you get back then.” She smiled at them both before excusing herself.

 

 

Lexa dried the last plate before handing it over to Clarke. The blonde put placed it in the cabinet with the rest of them before turning towards Lexa again.

 

 

“Are you nervous about your parents coming here?” Clarke asked softly as she wrapped her arms around her. Lexa just shook her head no. She wasn’t nervous, they all spent Christmas together last year and her parents adored Clarke more than anything. She was just happy and excited that their families would spend Christmas together again.

 

 

“We should probably get ready to pick them up then? We don’t want them waiting out in the cold” Clarke smiled before placing a chaste kiss to her lips. Lexa smiled against her lips.

 

 

 

“Yeah.. lead the way” Lexa said softly and followed after Clarke.


	8. Merry Christmas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this took a while to get posted... sorry about that! 
> 
>  
> 
> Anyways! I hope all of you have a great holiday whether you are celebrating Christmas or Hanukkah or whatever it might be that people celebrate. 
> 
> May 2019 bring us more clexa stories, happy New Year (when the time comes) 
> 
> Here is a late Christmas gift from me ;)
> 
>  
> 
> Hope you like it:3
> 
>  
> 
> (Also, there is smut at the end of the chapter so of you want to skip that clnsider yourself warned)

“Hello, this is Clarke Griffin” Clarke said as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes. It was Christmas Eve, or well, the morning of Christmas Eve, and it was barely six in the morning. 

 

“Hello Miss Griffin. This is Dante Wallace” the man on the phone said and Clarke’s eyes widened comically. Dante was one of the greatest artist of their era and one of the best painters Clarke knew of. He was her inspiration and role model when it came to art. Well, him and Vincent Van Gogh, but still. Why on earth would he be calling her? Better question. How did he know who she was at all?

 

“Oh, hi. What can I do for you Mr Wallace?” Clarke asked still in shock. Lexa roused from her sleep as Clarke kept talking on the phone with the artist. 

 

The brunette sat up in bed and looked at Clarke questioningly and Clarke looked at her with wide eyes and a grin on her face. 

 

“Who is it?” Lexa mouthed as Clarke kept talking. The blonde lifted the phone away from her ear and covered the mic with her hand. 

 

“It’s Dante Wallace” Clarke whispered excitedly and Lexa’s eyes widened and a smile stretched across her face. 

 

Clarke talked for another few minutes before hanging up and squealing excitedly as she jumped on the bed to join Lexa. 

 

“Oh my god! I just talked to Dante.. the Dante Wallace” Clarke said and placed her hands on top of her head. Barely believing the conversation she just had. 

 

“Clarke that’s great! What did he want?” Lexa beamed as Clarke hugged her close. 

 

“He wants to meet me, apparently he saw the painting from the art contest two years ago! The one I won the scholarship for. And he liked it! He wants to discuss future projects with me and talk to me about my art!” Clarke smiled and peppered Lexa’s face with kisses. 

 

“That’s great baby! I’m so proud of you!” Lexa said and hugged Clarke closer, kissing her lips softly. “I love you” Clarke mumbled against her lips and Lexa smiled wider. 

“I love you too, baby” Lexa murmured, pecking her lips one last time. Their moment got interrupted by Ethan’s soft cries over the baby call. “And I love you too Ethan” she sighed and stood up walking across the hall to the baby nursery to get him ready for the day.

 

———————

 

“He’s getting so big!” Gustus smiled fondly at his grandson. Ethan was dressed in his new Christmas onesie that Lexa’s parents had bought him and was gurgling happily on his grandpas lap. 

“Yeah, tell me about it. It feels like he was born yesterday” Clarke sighed as she watched her baby. She loved seeing him grow up, but she also wanted him to stay a baby forever. 

 

“So, how is everything going with you? After everything I mean”  
Anastasia asked quietly as she looked between her daughter and Clarke. 

 

“We’re handling it” Lexa said and gave her mother a tight lipped smile. “The trial is in three weeks and then when that is done we are more than ready to just put it behind us and move on forward with our lives” the brunette added and Clarke smiled softly at her. 

 

“Well, that’s good then.” Anastasia said and placed a comforting hand on her daughter’s shoulder, before walking to the kitchen to help Abby with the food. 

 

After her mother left the room Lexa turned her head towards her father, sending him a look as if to say ‘what the heck was that about?’. Gustus just shrugged and looked towards the kitchen. Clarke got up from her place in the chair and walked over to Lexa, wrapping her hands around her gently and placing a kiss on her head. 

 

“She’s trying, honey. She just has a lot of questions and doesn’t know how to ask them.” Gustus said softly and Lexa clenched and unclenched her jaw. “She feels bad, you know, for not being here when he was gone. But you have to understand that she was at her phone every available second asking for updates” he added. 

 

Lexa was still angry at her mother for not being there for them when Ethan disappeared, she just didn’t realize it until she picked them up from the airport and her mother had bombarded her with questions about EJ. 

 

“I just don’t understand why she has to bring it up all the time. It’s the only thing she has been asking about since we picked you up. And Ethan is obviously okay. I think. He seems fine at least.” Lexa said and leaned into Clarke’s comforting touch. 

 

“He is fine, baby” Clarke murmured and placed a soft kiss to her cheek. 

 

“Clarke, I heard you got a very interesting phone call this morning” Gustus smiled at her to change the topic. He could tell that Lexa was upset about her mother’s behavior since their arrival and wanted to cheer her up in any way possible. 

 

“Yeah, Dante called me and asked to meet me and talk about my art” Clarke smiled brightly at him and he nodded his head. 

 

“That’s great, so when will you meet with him?” Gustus asked excitedly.

 

“On New Year’s Eve, he will be in town for a few days visiting a relative or something and asked to meet me at Grounders” Clarke said and Lexa turned in her arms to smile up at her. She was so proud of her girlfriend. She knew Clarke had an extraordinary talent the moment she saw her sketchbook for the first time, and every time the blonde turned in a project or just a quick doodle or sketch to make her smile. 

“Alexandria really had potential, but being the disappointment she is she settled for a high school teacher” Gustus joked and Lexa burst out laughing. Her dad knew that she found more joy in teaching other’s the love for art than being a starving artist. Her parents were relieved when she told them she changed her mind about teaching after the first semester of college. 

 

“Yeah, well, I have a beautiful girlfriend, a solid job that pays well, and a perfect son. I wouldn’t change that for the world. Becoming a teacher is the best decision I have ever made” Lexa smiled fondly up at Clarke and Gustus gently bounced Ethan on his lap. 

 

“You hear that buddy. Your mama is a boring person. Haha, yeah. You’re lucky you have a mommy like Clarke to keep your life interesting” Gustus teased and Lexa playfully slapped his arm. 

 

“Hahah, very funny dad.” Lexa said dryly making Clarke laugh behind her. 

 

“I think you’re great” the blonde whispered in her ear and Lexa smiled to herself. 

 

“Yeah?” 

 

“Mhm, the best” The blonde said and kissed her softly.

 

——————

Christmas morning. The griffin residence.

 

“There is no way in hell I am putting that thing on, Reyes” Anya said, her face dead serious even though Raven was cackling on the floor. 

 

“Oh come on! It’s hilarious! Mama Woods made my day” Raven wheezed as she clutched the ugly Christmas sweater in her hand. 

 

“It’s not funny. And there is no way I will wear that thing around you. I don’t trust you not to take pictures” Anya protested and crossed her arms over her chest. 

 

“An, I promise. I won’t take any pictures.” Raven said seriously before bursting out laughing again. Anya just rolled her eyes and walked out of the room. 

 

“How do you live with her?” Anya asked exasperatedly as she walked to the living room to join Clarke and Lexa. 

 

“I don’t” Clarke said simply and Anya groaned. 

 

“Why do we get ugly sweaters every Christmas?” Anya asked her cousin and Lexa just shrugged. 

 

“It’s tradition. Now put it on little one” Gustus appeared behind them and gently ruffled her hair. Abby, Anastasia and Marcus walking in after him. Anya grumbled as she pulled the sweater over her head.

 

“Lexa is wearing hers too” Gustus smiled triumphantly and Lexa muttered something under her breath, making everyone laugh. 

 

“Breakfast is ready” Abby smiled as she gently laid a sleeping Ethan in the cradle by the fireplace. 

 

“Is he sleeping already?” Clarke asked shocked. His nap time wasn’t until eleven and it was only ten.

 

“Yeah, I guess he is tired today” Abby shrugged her shoulders before walking into the kitchen. Clarke walked over to her son and gently stroked his cheek before leaning down to kiss his forehead. She walked back over to Lexa and laced their hands together, then walked into the kitchen. 

 

Raven came running down the stairs at the mention of food, and laughed hysterically at the sight of Lexa and Anya. 

 

“Guys! Y-you look! Hahaaaa! This is priceless! Oh man” The Latina gasped for air as she doubled over in laughter. 

 

“Oh don’t make fun of them Raven.” Gustus said and smiled at his girls. “We got one for you and Clarke too” he grinned and Anastasia pulled two sweaters out from a gift bag.

 

“Merry Christmas” Anastasia grinned as she handed them over. Ravens mouth fell open when she realized she got an even uglier sweater than Anya had. Clarke accepted hers with a smile and pulled it over her head, grinning like a child on Christmas morning. 

 

“Look baby, we are matching!” Clarke squealed.

 

“You’re too adorable” Lexa whispered and kissed her cheek.

 

———————

 

Raven were lurking around the presents by the tree. It was 273 to be exact, which was crazy, considering they were only nine people celebrating Christmas together this year, and one of them was a baby. Then again, it was EJ’s first Christmas and about seventy of the presents alone were for him. 

 

“How does a baby get more presents than me?” Raven grumbled in fake annoyance as she read the stickers and cards. 

 

“Have you seen him?” Lexa asked teasingly with a smirk. “When you look that good you’ll get a lot of gifts too” Lexa laughed at Ravens glare. 

 

“Well maybe if I had such good looking parents I would” The Latina shot back and Lexa’s smirk widened before turning into a soft smile.

 

“He looks a lot like his mommy, that’s for sure” Lexa said softly as she watched Clarke play with their son on the rug. 

 

“God, you’re too gay” Raven grumbled and walked over to the couch, sitting down next to Anya. “Look at them” The Latina huffed. “They’re like a perfect family. Grossly in love, bleh” 

 

“Oh shut up” Anya smiled and playfully hit her with a pillow. 

 

“Are you ready to open the presents?” Marcus asked as he walked through the door to the living room. 

 

“Hell yeah!” Raven shouted and Clarke sent her a pointed look. 

 

They opened up the presents and spent almost three hours doing so. Ethan’s room was filled with new clothes and toys and baby stuff by the end of it all. 

 

“Here, it’s from me” Lexa said softly as she handed Clarke her last gift. Lexa had already gotten her a beautiful necklace, a set of new acrylic paints and the new Gucci bag she had secretly drooled over for the past months. 

 

“Another one?” The blonde asked with raised eyebrows. She almost felt bad for only getting Lexa a Daniel Wellington watch and a sweater. The brunette was really spoiling her this year. 

 

“Yeah, It’s not a surprise really. I just... I was looking for my work briefcase a week ago, before our fight and I walked into the art studio and saw that your paint brushes were starting to fall apart, so I thought you’d like a new set.” Lexa rambled as Clarke unwrapped the paper.

 

The blonde gasped when she saw the new series of Princeton Aspen Synthetic Brushes and looked over at her girlfriend with wide eyes. 

 

“Lexa... these are like a hundred dollars..” Clarke breathed out in disbelief. She would have been fine with a set for five dollars from Walmart, but her girlfriend had to go all out and get her her dream brushes. 

 

“I know, but you deserve them... I know how much you love art and you are the best artist I’ve ever seen. You are so talented and I wanted you to have them. Even though you simply create art by breathing.” Lexa smiled softly and placed her hand on Clarke’s arm and stroked gently.

“I love you” Clarke breathed and leaned forward to capture her lips in a sweet kiss. Abby sneakily snapped a picture of the two of them and Clarke smiled into it. 

 

“I love you too” Lexa whispered and hugged her close.

 

All heads turned towards the door frame when Raven reappeared with Ethan after offering to change his diaper and fix him up earlier. When they came back they were wearing matching elf costumes and Clarke burst out laughing at her friend. 

 

“Rae, what the heck?” Lexa asked in disbelief as she took in the little elf tears her son was wearing, clearly looking really uncomfortable in his new costume. 

 

“Oh my god he is adorable” Clarke said as she stood up, walking over to her baby boy. “What did aunty Rae do to you, baby? What did she do?” Clarke said in her baby voice as raven handed him over. Ethan gurgled at his mommy and Clarke chuckled at him.

 

“Let me get a picture” Abby smiled brightly at her daughter as she grabbed the camera, snapping a few picture of the two of them. “Lexa, join them” Abby told the brunette and Lexa laughed as she walked over to her girlfriend and son. 

 

A few photos turned into an hour long photo shoot with Ethan going between the people. First with his mommies. Then his aunty Rae and aunty Anya. Then with Lexa’s parents, and then Marcus and Abby. Then one with all of them and then just randomly paired as it got out of hand. 

 

————

 

Later that night, Clarke found herself in bed with both Lexa and their baby. The brunette had eaten too much Christmas food and claimed their baby for a power nap only to fall asleep and never return downstairs for dessert. 

 

“Lexa” Clarke said softly as she placed soft kisses to her face, trying to rouse her from her sleep. The brunette only hummed softly at the kisses and Clarke trailed them down her neck and to her collar bone before placing a firm kiss to her lips. 

 

“Clarke?” Lexa murmured sleepily as she slowly opened her eyes.

 

“Hey” Clarke said softly as she placed a stray hair behind her ear. “You fell asleep and never came back downstairs”

 

“M’sorry” Lexa said softly as she carefully got up into a sitting position. “What time is it?” She asked as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes. 

“It’s a little past twelve” Clarke smiled and rubbed Ethan’s belly where he was laying. “Do you want me to put him in his crib? So you can change out of your clothes and get ready for bed I mean” Clarke asked softly and Lexa nodded her head. 

“Goodnight, baby” Lexa whispered and placed a kiss to Ethan’s head before Clarke carefully picked him up and walked over to the nursery. Lexa stripped out of her dress and walked into the bathroom to wash off her makeup and brush her teeth. 

 

She walked back into the bedroom to find Clarke already waiting for her in bed. She carefully climbed into it and Clarke snuggled close to her immediately, draping a hand over her waist. Lexa stared blankly up at the sealing. 

 

“Lexa..”

 

“Hmm?” Lexa hummed.

 

“You’re thinking too loudly.” Clarke whispered and looked at her.

 

“Sorry” Lexa muttered and kissed the top of her head. She didn’t want to worry Clarke, but the closer they got to the trial the more anxious she got. She knew Finn and Costia would use her lash out on the both of them against their case. She just hoped the judges would be considerate in her and Clarke’s and Ethan’s favor. 

 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Clarke asked softly as she studied her girlfriend and Lexa nodded her head. She had come to learn that it was better to share things with her girlfriend rather than keeping her insecurities to herself.

 

“Do you... do you think I’m a violent person?” Lexa asked softly. So softly that Clarke barely heard her. 

 

“What do you you mean?” Clarke asked with furrowed brows.

 

“Do you think I’m violent? Are you ever scared of me?” Lexa spoke again and Clarke’s heart broke when she realized the thoughts that were running through her girlfriends head.

 

“No, Lexa... of course not. I’ve never been afraid of you, and you don’t scare me. I promise. I know you would never ever hurt me or Ethan or anyone, well maybe not anyone, but you know what I mean.” Clarke said and pulled Lexa closer towards her. “I love you, Okay? Stop beating yourself up about something that happened during the worst few days of our lives. It’s natural become overly emotional affected in situations like that, baby. You were protecting us. You wanted answers and you knew where to find them. I’m not saying what you did was okay, but I know you. You’re not like that... you’re not. Trust me. I wouldn’t let you near Ethan if I had any doubt about his safety around you. I trust you with him, with me, because I know that no matter how angry you get, you could never do anything like that to us. You may throw some harsh words, but I know you would never lay a hand on any of us if we did something to upset or anger you.” Clarke said and a few tears escaped Lexa’s eyes. Clarke kissed them away. 

 

“I’m just so scared...” Lexa admitted and sniffled. “I never want to hurt you like that Clarke. Never. And.. when I did what I did... when I beat them... I couldn’t control myself.. I wanted them dead. Clarke. I could have killed them..” Lexa said as more tears fell from her eyes. 

 

“You didn’t.” Clarke said firmly and tightened her grip on her girlfriend. “You didn’t, Okay? That’s all that matters. You were angry. You had every right to be angry at them, and frankly they deserved a punch to the face for what they did. Anyone who thinks they can just go around and steal babies deserves a good punch to the face. I would have done the same, had it been me who found Ethan’s pacifier in Finns apartment, or seen Costia taking a stroll with our son. You may have wanted to kill them, but you didn’t, Okay? You didn’t, because that’s not who you are. You’re not a murderer, and you’ll never be one. At least I don’t believe you’ll be one.” Clarke said and Lexa clutched Clarke’s T-shirt in her fist, letting her tears fall silently.

 

“I love you” The blonde whispered and let a few of her own tears fall. She hated that Lexa was feeing this way. The brunette was so good at putting on her mask sometimes that it was hard for even her to read her. 

 

“I love you too” Lexa said softly and claimed Clarke’s lips in a kiss. Clarke went to straddle her and pulled the duvet over them both, claiming Lexa’s lips in a more heated kiss. 

 

“Clarke?” Lexa mumbled against her lips and Clarke pulled back slowly.

 

“I just want to feel you” Clarke breathed as her hands travelled down to Lexa’s boxers, playing with the hem. “Take your mind off of things and make you forget the bad thoughts” she whispered as she leaned down for another kiss. “Is that okay?” She asked as she pecked the brunette’s soft lips. 

 

“Yes” Lexa whispered against her lips and Clarke’s hand dipped into Lexa’s boxers, grabbing a hold of her shaft, stroking it gently. She could feel it harden under her touch and Clarke moaned softly at the feeling. 

 

“We have to be very quiet” Clarke whispered as she carefully tugged Lexa’s boxers down her legs pulling them off. Clarke slowly took off her own panties and straddled Lexa’s lap again. She removed her T-shirt and guided the brunette’s hands to her hips. She ran her hot wet center over Lexa’s shaft, coating it in her juices before lining it up with her entrance. 

She looked at Lexa, waiting for a signal that it was okay and when the brunette nodded she carefully sank down on her dick, not stopping until it was fully sheathed inside of her. “God I feel so full” Clarke moaned at the feeling. It had definitely been a while since their last time. 

With her hands on milky skin Lexa gently guided Clarke to a slow pace. The blonde was moving up and down on her shaft, making Lexa’s favorite noises. “It.. feels so good” Lexa groaned softly and Clarke leaned forward to kiss her. Swallow her little grunts of pleasure. She picked up her pace and Lexa seized her opportunity to flip them over. 

Lexa never broke the kiss as she kept thrusting into Clarke, the slick noises of their sexes turning her on. “You’re so beautiful, Clarke” she whispered as she trailed kisses down her chest, gently sucking a nipple into her mouth. 

“Mm, Lexa.. you feel so good, baby. So good.” Clarke groaned and hooked her legs around Lexa’s back, pulling her closer and urging her to pick up her pace. Lexa canted her hips faster and the sound of skin slapping against skin increased with every thrust.

 

“Just like that baby” Clarke moaned. Lexa was getting close, but she needed Clarke to come first. She moved her free hand between their bodies and started rubbing tight fast circles on the blondes clit. 

“Fuck, baby, I’m gonna cum” Clarke groaned as Lexa picked up a faster pace, rutting into her. 

“It’s okay, baby, come for me” Lexa coaxed thrusting three more times before feeling the blonde clench around her. Seconds later she shot her load inside her girlfriend and moaned loudly, feeling Clarke clench around her again, clawing her nails down her back before they both stilled.

 

“I love you” Lexa breathed and kissed her way up to Clarke’s mouth. 

 

“I love you too, so much” Clarke said before pulling her in for a soft kiss, letting it linger for a few seconds before breaking apart. 

 

“Let me clean up” Clarke said as Lexa slowly slipped out of her, their mixed cum seeping out of Clarke as she made her way to the bathroom. She quickly cleaned herself up before wetting a washcloth to bring back to Lexa.

 

“Open your legs for me, baby” She whispered softly and wiped away their cum, cleaning her up as best as she could. They would definitely need to shower in the morning and change the bed sheets, but not tonight. 

Clarke lazily threw the cloth in her laundry basket before climbing into bed again. 

 

“Thank you” Lexa said softly as Clarke snuggled up to her again. 

 

“You’re welcome, love” Clarke said as she closed her eyes. “Merry Christmas, Lexa” 

 

“Merry Christmas, Love” Lexa breathed out before falling asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that happened :D 
> 
> Please let me know what you think, your comments give me life. (Most of the time) 
> 
> Thank you for reading if you’re still sticking with me. I appreciate it :)


	9. The trial part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. So stuff happens. I have no idea what this is. I’m sorry if this sucks! I know nothing about court or anything like that.

Lexa was laying on the couch in the Griffin household with Ethan fast asleep on her stomach. Raven had fallen asleep in the chair next to her and Anya was laying on the floor fiddling with Ethan’s toys. The lion king was playing in the background on the tv, and they were all waiting for Clarke to come home with some news about her meeting. 

 

“When will Clarke be back?” Anya asked as she looked at the time for the fifth time the past hour. Clarke was meeting up with Dante on the last day of the year and everyone was dying to know how it was going. 

 

“She said she’d be back at three” Lexa mumbled and gently stroked Ethan’s back as he slept soundly on top of her. 

 

“Yeah, and it is almost four now” Anya said pointedly and Lexa glances up at the watch. It was indeed almost four. She checked her phone to see if Clarke had texted her but she only had a few instagram and Snapchat notifications from other people. She carefully sat up, placing Ethan against her chest with one hand as she dialed Clarke’s phone with the other. 

 

It went straight to voicemail and she sighed. Where was Clarke? She was supposed to be here almost an hour ago. 

 

She tried a few more times before leaving a voicemail. “Hey, Clarke, it’s me. You said you’d be back at three and it’s almost four now. Is everything alright? Call me when you get the chance, I love you. Bye” she said and sent it. 

 

“Hmm, that’s weird” She mumbled as she put her phone back into her pocket. 

 

“Maybe it’s traffic?” Raven said sleepily and made a gesture for Lexa to hand over the baby to her. She carefully handed him over to her and sent her a glare as if to say ‘wake him and I’ll murder you in your sleep’.

 

“Yeah, Maybe” Lexa said softly as she walked over to the window to glance into driveway. “It doesn’t explain why she doesn’t answer her phone tho. She keeps it charged at all hours of the day and she has a handsfree in her car”.

A few moments later the sound of a car pulling up sounded outside and Lexa sighed with relief when she saw Clarke’s white Jeep and the blonde inside it with a shit eating grin. She quickly made her way to the door and opened it as Clarke walked up the stairs. 

 

“Heeey” Lexa smiled widely as she enveloped her girlfriend in a tight hug. “How did it go?” 

 

“Really good. He is amazing! You should have seen him Lexa, he was so nice and polite and just... he is everything you’d expect. And! He offered me a job!” Clarke said excitedly as explained the events of the day. 

“Really?” Lexa asked with wide eyes and Clarke nodded her head vigorously.

“Yes! Apparently he is planning to open a new gallery here in Polis and he wants me to help him manage it! And I explained the thing with Ethan and that I can’t take on a full time job while we have a baby who needs most of our attention, especially since you are working a hundred percent job. But it’s like, I just show up whenever I want, on some days, look over to see that everything is fine and write a report on how things are going, how many people that show up now and then, if someone buys something, stuff like that. And he even wants to show off one of my paintings on the opening day! Which will be the eight of February. So it’s hopefully after we are done with the trial and everything with Costia and Finn.” Clarke explained and Lexa couldn’t help but smile at her girlfriends enthusiasm. 

 

“That’s great, baby! I’m so proud of you!” She cheered before placing a soft kiss against her lips. “And it’s great that it’s after the trial and everything. Our lawyer said it wouldn’t take much more than a week, depending on how everything goes, but it will be done a week and a half before the opening. So you don’t have to worry about that, love.” Lexa said and pulled Clarke closer to her, kissing the top of her head.

 

They all gathered in the living room and Clarke smiled when raven handed her son over to her. It was crazy to think that he was two weeks away from being five months already. The time was flying by so fast and Clarke was slowly starting to dread the trial. But she was very interested in knowing why Costia and Finn kidnapped their son. Hopefully justice would be served to them. 

 

“So... the trial starts next week... are you guys ready?” Raven asked them and they looked at each other. Clarke sent Lexa a reassuring smile and the brunette was grateful for it, knowing that Clarke would have her back no matter what happened. She just prayed she wouldn’t end up in jail for beating two people. 

 

“As ready as we’ll be I guess” Clarke said softly and kissed the top of Ethan’s head. 

 

—————

 

“Lexa, relax okay? You look fine... I promise, there’s nothing to worry about baby” Clarke whispered in her ear as she gently fixed the brunette’s tie and smoothing put her suit. Lexa looked at herself in the mirror and took a deep breath. They could do this. 

Clarke smiled softly at her girlfriend and placed a gentle kiss on her lips. “I’ll be here every step of the way, Okay? You, me and Ethan. We will be okay. The charges are against Costia and Finn, not you.” Clarke whispered and leaned their foreheads together.

She could feel Lexa nodding slowly brushing their noses together before looking Clarke in the eye. “Yeah. You’re right. Nothing to worry about” Lexa smiled and Clarke pecked her lips once more, careful not to smudge her lipstick. 

 

“Zip me up?” Clarke smiled brightly at her before turning her back to the brunette waiting for her to zip up the dress. 

 

“There, all done” Lexa whispered and kissed the crook of Clarke’s neck. 

 

—————

 

“Please, take a seat.” The judge said and gestured for everyone to sit down. 

 

Lexa was holding Ethan on her lap and Clarke stroked calm circles on her wrist, offering her girlfriend all the comfort she would need. She knew Lexa was scared of what might happen if either Finn or Costia were to mention what Lexa did to them. 

The attorney got up slowly and made his way to the front, waiting for the judge to give the all clear.

 

“Everyone. We are gathered here today because of one reason, and one reason only.” The man, Derrick, started slowly. Walking around. “And the reason being that baby boy over there” he continued and gestured to Ethan, who was sitting on his mama’s lap.

“We all know that a few weeks ago... he was taken away from his stroller, by those two” he said and pointed his finger at Finn and Costia who slightly cowered under the intense glared they received. There were almost no one behind them except for a woman Clarke had never seen before and Finn’s mother. 

“The baby was spending his weekend at his grandparents house, when those two made the last finishing touches to their sick plan. And, your honor, friends and family, supporters of the Griffin-Woods family. We are gathered here today to bring justice to what has been done and to what could have been done!” The man finished and some of the people nodded in approval. 

 

As the time passed they started presenting the evidence they had, being first the pacifier they found at Finn’s apartment and the clothes at Costias place. 

 

“I will ask you again, mr. Collins... can you explain to us, why the baby’s pacifier was found at your apartment?” Derrick asked again and Finn was visibly shaking in his chair. 

 

“No, sir. I don’t know how it ended up in my apartment.” Finn said as he fiddled with his hands. 

 

“Bullshit” Lexa muttered quietly from where she was sitting on the other side of the aisle. Clarke placed a gentle hand on her shoulder to calm her down. 

 

“Are you saying someone placed it there?” Derrick asked again but Finn’s lawyer cut in. 

 

“Objection your honor. They have already gone through the evidence prior to this trial. I don’t see why my client has to answer these questions again” the woman, Nia, said coolly.

 

The judge only raised her hand to silence her and nodded for Derrick to continue asking questions. 

 

“So, mr Collins. Do you have an answer to my question?” He asked again and Finn shook his head.

“No, sir. I don’t know how it ended up there. The baby was never at my place, so I don’t know how the pacifier ended up there” Finn said again. 

 

“All right... what about you... miss Greene” he said and turned his attention towards Costia. “Care to explain why you changed his clothes at your place and left them there before running away?” He asked and Lexa was glaring daggers into her ex girlfriend. Some of the bruises on Costias face was still visible, but had almost faded. 

 

“No, sir” she replied simply. 

 

“Well, there is no denying that you were a part of this, Miss Greene. We have surveillance footage of you with the baby at a local coffee shop in Askeda.” Derrick said and walked up in front of their table. “Yet... you chose to plead not guilty for kidnapping and abducting the baby.” He said and looked at her. “Why is that?” 

 

“I didn’t do it” she said simply and the man chuckled before digging into his briefcase, retrieving some of the photos of her at the coffee shop. 

 

“So this is not you?” He asked coolly and placed the photos on the table in front of her. The whole room was dead silent. 

 

“Yes, sir. That is me.” She kept her answer simple again and Lexa’s blood was boiling with rage. 

 

They kept going through all the evidence, having them both explain how and why they were found at their places. Costia kept being in denial about the whole thing, while Finn was starting to talk a bit more as he saw that Costia had been likely to leave a trace at his place to drag him down with her. They kept bringing witness after witness on the stand and they all pointed their finger at the redhead. How she had taken the stroller and how people had seen her leaving the park with a crying baby on the arm. 

 

After a few hours the judge called for s break and Lexa was out of her seat in half a second. Walking towards the door. 

 

“Lexa, baby. Hey... it’s okay.” Clarke said as she caught up to her after handing Ethan over to Abby.

 

“They keep denying it! Why!? It’s so obvious what they did Clarke! I just need to understand why!” Lexa shouted and Clarke dragged her around the corner away from prying eyes.

“Lexa... they will get their punishment. I promise, Okay? Just calm down. Don’t let them see you get angry. Don’t let them get to you. I know that you are scared and furious. Hell I want to rip off Costias head myself for what she did. For the pain she put us through. But baby... Ethan is with us. He is here, and I am here and we love you. Okay? We love you so much and you don’t have to worry. I won’t let anything happen to you.” Clarke said gently and pulled her in for a tight hug, stroking her back gently.

 

“Hey, there you guys are” Raven said as she approached them, Harper and Octavia following closely behind. 

 

“How are you holding up?” Octavia asked as she placed a hand on Clarke’s arm. 

 

“We’re good. We just... Lexa is nervous about her lash out on them. But she shouldn’t have to be. Everyone understands that what she did... that’s not who she is.” Clarke said and squeezed Lexa’s hand in her own. 

 

“Lexa, it will be alright. They can’t put you in jail for that. I promise. Not after what they did.” Harper said softly. 

“Yeah. They deserved everything they got” Octavia chimed in. 

 

“Thanks guys, but I... I did beat them... I did that.. and I don’t regret it. I really don’t. I just... I’m scared” Lexa said quietly and looked down at her feet. No one had mentioned it so far, but she could sense that that Nia woman probably would soon. She had a bad gut feeling about that woman. 

 

“Hey, there you are. The break is over” Abby smiled softly and handed Ethan over to his mama. Lexa gladly accepted him and hugged him close. He was being such a champ in there, not fussing or crying at all. 

 

They all shared a look before walking back in to continue the trial. 

 

————

 

“Do you swear to speak truth and the truth only?” The man asked as Costia was ready to be placed on the stand. The trial was soon about to take a turn. Lexa could feel it. 

 

“I do. Sir” she said and the man gestured for her to take a seat. 

 

Costia adjusted uncomfortably in the chair. Smoothing our the wrinkles in her dress before looking out at the people.

 

“I know most of you think I am crazy... that only a sick person would be able to do what I did... I know that some of you hate me...” she started but Derrick shook his head and stood up. 

 

“Objection your honor. This is irrelevant to the case” he said and the judge nodded her head and turned towards Costia. 

 

“He is right.. what we think of you is irrelevant to the crime you committed, but do continue” she said and Costia cleared her throat before opening her mouth to speak again. 

 

“Very well... um... I don’t really know what to say...” Costia said and looked down at her hands. It was quiet for a long time before she opened her mouth to speak again. 

“Have you ever been in love? Your honor?” Costia asked and the judge looked taken aback by her question. Derrick was about to object again but the judge raised her hand and silenced him. 

“I have... I don’t see why this is relevant, Miss Greene.” The judge said and Costia shook her head and looked down at her hands again. 

 

“Of course. I’m sorry... I just. A few years ago... I met the most amazing woman... we were in college and she was standing in line at the coffee shop on campus. I knew I had to have her. I just knew... so I introduced myself... and we hit it off... I haven’t clicked with anyone the way I did with her, and we were perfect together. Everything was amazing for a while... then.. About two years ago... I found out I was pregnant...” Costia started and looked out at the crowd. 

 

Clarke looked up at Lexa and saw the brunette clenching and unclenching her jaw as Costia spoke. Lexa never told her that she got Costia pregnant, so this was definitely a shock for her. 

 

“Anyways... we got into a huge fight about it... she didn’t want the baby, she said we were too young to take care of it... ironically she knocks up a teenage girl and has her baby about a year later..” Costia laughs bitterly and sends Lexa a glare and Lexa is fast to return it back.

 

“That’s not the point of this story though...” she continued and kept looking her hands, tears stinging behind her eyes, “we got into a huge fight about it... I yelled some nasty things at her before storming out of the apartment we shared back then... I went for a drive and got back an hour later and then she was gone... I was so angry at her... I went to a bar, and met a nice guy... and I.. I took him home because I knew Lexa was not gonna be there... I was just so angry at her for not wanting our baby. I cheated on her... and she came home and.. and found us in bed together... and I realized that I had made the biggest mistake of my life.” Costia said as a few tears rolled down her cheeks.

 

“Anyway.. she broke up with me after that. Just packed her stuff then and there and just left. Never came back to pick up the rest of her stuff... I tried contacting her.. I really tried.. but I never got through... I guess I got what I deserved a few weeks later when I miscarried the baby. I wrote a letter to her about it... but she never replied to me...” she said bitterly and dried some of her tears. 

 

“Then imagine my surprise when I find out that she got her student pregnant... I met Clarke’s ex... Finn.. at a party where he told me all about how his girlfriend got knocked up by her new freak of an art teacher... and then... I meet them as they were going for a stroll... she gave that girl everything I didn’t get! She gave her love! And affection... and she even agreed to keep the baby... why does she get to be happy!? I found myself asking one night... why does she get to be happy and have a family while I am here all alone...” Costia said and chuckled humorlessly. “I even had a name for him... you know... Jeremy. He was going to be all mine... but then he died because of the stress my body went through after our break up!”

 

Clarke placed a hand on Lexa’s knee and squeezed it gently as she saw a few tears fall from her girlfriends eyes. Lexa had never told her this about her past. 

 

“I couldn’t just sit there and rot while she was flaunting her happiness in my face! So I came up with a plan... Finn helped me and spied on them. He sent me a text from the park that day.. saying he couldn’t go through with it... he only agreed because he wanted Clarke back of course... he bailed on me.. so I went there... I followed them and waited for my opportunity. And when that old bitch turned her back towards me I seized my chance... if I couldn’t be happy.. then neither could she.” Costia finished and Lexa was fuming. 

 

“Okay, then... all the evidence has been looked at. Witnesses had spoken. The family of the baby has spoken. This is a difficult decision for us to make, but we will gather here tomorrow after we have spoken together.” The judge said and got ready to dismiss everyone. 

 

“Not so fast your honor.” Costias lawyer, Emerson, got up. “My client is suffering from a traumatic event that happened to her... she lost a child... maybe her reasons for abducting the baby was wrong, but she deserves justice due to what her ex girlfriend caused her... look at her face. Your honor. Do you see those bruises?... delivered one by one by the hand of Alexandria Woods... shouldn’t my client get justice for the enormous hospital bill she got... the immense trauma from such an experience? She was beaten to and inch of her life.”

 

“Objection your honor, that is not true” Derrick stepped forward.

 

“You are right. That was exaggerating a little bit. But the point is.. is Miss Woods really fit to be a parent? Look what she did! Look at her! And look at him! Those are the remains of severe bruises and damaging. Who is to say she won’t do anything like that in the future? What happens if she gets angry in the presence of her child? Or her girlfriend?” He said and some of the jury members nodded their heads. 

 

Clarke’s hand on Lexa’s knee tightened as she felt Lexa shake against her, probably fighting the tears that was threatening to fall. 

 

“Shouldn’t she be punished for such a violent act!? If we don’t serve her justice we are saying that it is okay to hit people when we can’t control our emotions. She needs help with her anger! And she needs to be punished for her lack of judgement! It is never okay to beat someone up” he finished and the judge looked at him for five minutes straight. Before slamming the hammer against the table. 

 

“You are dismissed everyone... we will meet here tomorrow to continue this trial further” the judge said and got up.

Clarke was in shock. She didn’t know Costia lost a child. Or well. A fetus is more appropriate. But still. And the fact that Emerson just played that card filled her with rage. Lexa was not a bad person, and she didn’t deserve the words he threw at her. 

 

“Lexa...” Clarke tried but Lexa shook her head and stormed out of the room, leaving Clarke and Ethan behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any thoughts? 
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you if you’re still reading this crap


	10. The trial part two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to finish this chapter relatively quickly, so I apologize if there are any mistakes. 
> 
> I was stressed about writing this trial part because like I mentioned before I know nothing about law or court or stuff like that. I skimmed through the Wikipedia page on how a trial works and lemme tell ya, it’s not like I wrote it at all. 
> 
>  
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

“Lexa, it’s okay. Just breathe...” Clarke said as she slowly made her way over to the brunette. She had been crying the whole way home from the courthouse and Clarke was so pissed at Costia and Emerson for doing this to her girlfriend. The charges wasn’t even against Lexa and she just hoped the judge and the jury would take that into consideration when they reached their final decision. 

 

She slowly wrapped her arms around Lexa’s waist and rested her head on her shoulder. Lexa leaned back into the touch and sighed softly. Ethan was still strapped in his car seat fast asleep on the floor beside them. 

 

“Lex.. you’re a great mom, okay? You’re so amazing and caring and you didn’t deserve the words he said. He had no right to accuse you of being abusive and a danger to our child. That was such a low blow from him” Clarke murmured softly and Lexa turned around in her arms, burying her face in the crook of Clarke’s neck. 

 

They stood like that for a few moments. Clarke still had a thousand questions burning inside of her, but she didn’t want to upset Lexa further by asking.

 

“Go ahead... I can feel that you’re dying to ask me” Lexa murmured and took a calming breath as Clarke slowly pulled back. Clarke looked at her hesitantly and opened her mouth to speak, but closed it soon after. She gazed into Lexa’s red rimmed eyes and gently stroked her cheek with her thumb. 

 

“Did... did you get her pregnant?” Clarke asked after a few moments of silence and Lexa shrugged. 

 

“I don’t know... I don’t know, Clarke. We always used a condom... and she never said anything until it was too late... the only reason she confessed was because her baby bump was starting to show and she was panicking. I got her letter too, but I don’t believe for a second that it was my baby in there. That’s what we fought about the night she cheated on me... I just couldn’t believe her, Clarke. The doctors said that the chance of me getting someone pregnant was highly unlikely, even more so while wearing a condom... I mean.. Ethan was a miracle that wasn’t supposed to happen, and he is here and beautiful and just the most wonderful thing I could have asked for.” Lexa whispered but Clarke heard it as if the brunette was shouting it from the roof tops of the city. 

 

“But the thing is... we didn’t use a condom Clarke. That’s why we got out beautiful son. And if I did get her pregnant... wouldn’t I have noticed that the condom broke? I mean, you probably notice if something like that happens? Right?” Lexa spoke, more to herself than Clarke. But the blonde just shrugged. The condom had never broken the times they had used it. 

“I.. I guess we’ll never know now if the baby was in fact mine... but Clarke... what she said.... it’s not true. You were never just my student. You’re perfect and you are mine and I don’t care if I did something wrong to get you. I could never regret my decision to let myself fall head over heels in love with you. It was inevitable... I don’t care what the judges say or do to me for what I did to them.. I just want you to know how much I love you, in case this ends badly. I love you so so much, baby.” Lexa said softly and Clarke hugged her tight to her body, not willing to let Lexa be consumed by her thoughts. 

 

Clarke took a shaky breath before speaking again. “Lex, Nothing is gonna happen to you. I promise. I won’t let them take you if it comes down to that. They will have to start a new trial to do so because this is about punishing Finn and Costia for what they did to Ethan.” The blonde murmured and Lexa nodded against her shoulder, letting her tears gradually soak through the blondes shirt. 

 

“And I don’t believe Costia. There’s just something about what she said that is off... I would take your side of the story than hers anytime, and if you don’t think that the baby was yours, then I believe you. I mean, just seeing your reaction when we got pregnant with EJ.. you were confused. And I get it. I should have told you sooner and now I fully understand your reaction, why you felt so betrayed. I never meant to make you feel like Costia did. I wish I had known sooner too, but baby... I wouldn’t change it for the world.” Clarke murmured and gently stroke her hair. 

“I love you so much, baby” Clarke whispered before placing a soft kiss to her lips, hugging her girlfriend tight. 

 

They barely got any sleep that night. Clarke stayed up comforting Lexa while the brunette silently cried on her shoulder. 

 

————

 

“Hey, how are you holding up?” Abby asked softly as they met outside the courthouse for day two. Clarke had barely slept a wink, staying up all night to comfort Lexa. It was a miracle that they were both there, able to function with how little sleep they got. 

 

“We’re hanging in there” Clarke said softly and smiled down at Ethan who was still asleep in his stroller. Lexa was still waiting in the car, not ready to walk through the doors just yet. She couldn’t bring herself to leave the comfort of the car. She knew that once she stepped out there was no going back. 

 

“How is Lexa doing? Those words yesterday...” Abby said and shook her head, looking over to see Lexa sitting in the car. 

 

“I have never seen her so upset, mom... she was crying all night.. I don’t know what happened, maybe the words got into her head... I don’t know.. what I do know is that she didn’t deserve that. This trial is not against her, and I will gladly step onto that stand and speak in front of everyone to prove to everyone that she is the most loving girlfriend and mother there is.” Clarke said with determination as she looked back at Lexa. 

 

“I have only seen her like this once...” Abby sighed softly as she placed a hand on Clarke’s arm. “When you were in the hospital after falling... god.. she was a mess. She refused to do anything at all before she knew you would be okay” Abby smiled sadly at the memory. 

 

Clarke nodded her head, not sure what to say or do. All she knew was that either today or tomorrow, the verdict would be clear and this would hopefully be over for them. Clarke told her mother to take Ethan and walk inside so she could talk to Lexa before they went in. 

 

Clarke carefully got into the passenger seat, placing her hand on Lexa’s thigh. “Baby, are you ready?” She asked softly and drew comforting circles with her thumb.

 

“Would you believe me if I said yes?” Lexa asked and lifted her head to look at Clarke. 

 

“No, but we have to do this. I’ll be here, right beside you every step, Okay? They can’t do anything to you.” Clarke said softly as she pressed their foreheads together. “I won’t let them”. Clarke whispered and pecked her lips before smiling softly at her. 

 

“Ready?” She asked one last time and Lexa nodded her head, giving Clarke a small smile before they both exited the car. 

 

—————

 

The judge came walking through the door at the back, standing behind the chair to look at everyone.

 

“Please. Have a seat” she said and gestured for everyone to sit down before she herself took a seat. She looked through the notes and papers from the prior day and probably their discussion that took place after the trial. 

 

“After long hours and a lot of discussion, insights from both parties, going through the evidence bit by bit. We have finally reached our decision.” She started off and Lexa sucked in a breath. Clarke was quick to place a comforting hand on her thigh. 

 

“It came down six to four in the jury, so it was close for a few moments, but we have decided that...” the judge kept talking and Lexa was almost at the edge of her seat. She didn’t really believe in god, but in that moment she found herself praying that the judge and the jury would pardon her behavior. The silence dragged along, and what was probably just five seconds felt like an eternity to both Lexa and Clarke.

 

“We will look away from miss Woods’ behavior towards the accused in this case seeing as she was overly affected by her emotions and therefore not able to control how she acted. We do however encourage her to see some professional help. Therefore, Costia Greene and Finn Collins... Costia, the jury has found you guilty for the kidnapping and abduction of The now five month old baby, Ethan Jacob Griffin-Woods, and we are therefore to sentence you to eleven years in prison without parole. You are also responsible to pay the cost for the investigation in search of the baby. You will also get a restraining order and are hereby not allowed to be less than fifty feet away from the Griffin-Woods family.” The judge said and Costia let out a wail as the policemen went to handcuff her and take her out of the courtroom. 

 

“Finn Collins..” the judge continued and Finn paled as he met the judges eyes. “For partaking in the kidnapping of the baby, we have decided to give you five years in prison with parole, we originally planned for it to be seven, but because of your willingness to cooperate with the police we decided to lower your sentence a bit. The restraining order also goes for you” The judge finished by slamming the hammer against the table. “Take them away” she said and Finn screamed as they dragged him out of the courtroom. 

 

Lexa threw her arms around Clarke and held her for dear life as the tears escaped her eyes one by one. She was so relieved to be over with all of this so they could finally move on with their lives and be happy again. Clarke let a few of her own tears fall and their friends and family gathered around them to comfort them and congratulate them on winning the case. 

 

“It’s over baby... it’s finally over” Clarke murmured as she stroked Lexa’s back gently as Lexa clung to her tighter. 

 

Abby came walking over with Marcus and Ethan and she carefully handed the baby over to his mommy. Clarke accepted him happily and placed him on her lap carefully. 

 

“Congratulations” Derrick smiled widely at them and shook their hands before he went to pack down his stuff. 

 

“This is bullshit!” Emerson shouted and everyone turned to look at him. He was clearly upset that he lost the case and the judge halted in her step before slowly turning around to look at the fuming man. 

 

“Excuse me?” She asked with narrowed eyes and stared the man down. 

 

“I said it’s bullshit! That woman beat up two people! Why is she not punished for her actions? What makes her so different than the other criminals that walk around and beat up people! Did you take that into consideration when you made your final decision!? The baby is unharmed for gods sake! 11 years for kidnapping a baby and delivering him back unharmed!? How is that fair!” Emerson shouted, startling everyone, including Ethan who started crying in his mommy’s arms. 

 

“Mr. Emerson! With all due respect... Miss Woods has a clean record as far as I am concerned! She was unable to control her emotions because of the amount of stress and anxiety she was put under during her son’s disappearance... finding out that someone else has taken your child against their will is every parents worst fear, and taking into consideration that her lash out led to finding her baby boy alive and well, she does not deserve to be punished for what she did!” The judge said loudly and Emerson slowly cowered under her intense glare. 

 

“Tell me... if it was you... if it was your boy, Andy? Is that his name? Yes. What if it was your child? Could you look me in the eye and tell me that you wouldn’t have reacted the exact same way as her? That if you found your son’s pacifier in a suspects apartment as the first sign in of your baby in the first hours after you knew someone took him? That you wouldn’t have done the same if you saw someone walking casually down the street with your baby, that has been missing for over 72 hours?!” The judge raised her voice and every person in the room turned to stare at Emerson, waiting for him to answer. 

 

He opened his mouth and got ready to speak, but closed it again. Lexa knew the judge had hit a spot when the man sighed and shook his head. 

 

“Well?” She said and Emerson lowered his gaze to the floor, and shook his head and made some awkward hand gestures. “I think you owe Miss Woods an apology... and that a real one” The judge finished before walking down to meet with Lexa and Clarke. 

 

Clarke was gently rocking Ethan back and forth in her arms, trying to calm him down from the scare a few moments ago. 

 

“You have a lovely son” she smiled at them both and Clarke smiled back at her. “Thank you, Becca” she said softly as he slowly calmed down in her arms. 

 

“Would you like to hold him?” Lexa asked from behind Clarke and the judge looked like she was about to decline but then Ethan grabbed a hold of her cape from where he was placed in his mommies arms. 

 

“Okay” she smiled softly and Clarke handed him over to Becca. Ethan gurgled some gibberish and grabbed a hold of the judges gown again. Becca just chuckled at him. He was strong enough to hold his head up by himself now, due to a lot of tummy time with Raven during Christmas. 

 

“Sorry” Clarke said as the baby kept tugging on the black fabric. “He likes the color black. And contrasts. All his toys have contrasts and he loves them” Clarke explained and stroked her son’s head. 

 

“It is quite alright..” Becca smiled as she gently bounced him on her arm. “Lexa, May I have a word with you?” Becca asked and gave the brunette a smile. Lexa looked up at her and nodded her head. 

 

“Okay. But whatever you need to say to me you can say in front of Clarke too.” Lexa said politely. She didn’t want to make Clarke feel left out and she would also probably tell her girlfriend what the judge wanted to talk about anyways. 

 

“Okay, then” she smiled and handed Ethan back to Clarke. “I wanted to apologize for the things Emerson said. It was undeserved and I want you to understand that no matter what people say... they are wrong. Or they don’t love their kids as much as you. The four jury members that voted to take your actions to consideration doesn’t have children and therefore can’t understand what it was like to be in your shoes those days. And losing an infant is even worse. They have the whole life in front of them.” Becca said softly and placed a hand on her arm. 

 

“And.. if that bastard tries something, just know that you have a friend amongst the judges. Just ask for me or Derrick and we will be there. The point is we don’t want you to worry. You should celebrate and be happy and move on from this. Don’t let it haunt for the rest of your life” She smiled softly at them before bidding them farewell. Lexa stood stunned as she watched Becca disappear. 

 

“You ready to go home, baby?” Clarke asked softly as she wrapped her free arm around Lexa possessively, not liking the way Becca touched her girlfriend. Though she knew the woman was happily married with two kids. 

 

Lexa gave her a sweet smile before leaning forward to peck her lips. “Yeah. Let’s go home”.

 

————

 

Clarke was putting EJ down for the night while Lexa took a much needed shower. Clarke hummed softly as she walked back and forth inside the nursery, trying to get Ethan to sleep. It was weird finally being at Lexa’s house again, or well, their house since Lexa had asked her to move in. It felt like ages since they had been there. The last time Clarke was here was after her fight with her girlfriend the day she stormed out with EJ before Christmas.

 

It was good being back though. Now they could finally move forward with their lives. Lexa was finally going back to work on Monday, and Clarke started her new job at Dante’s gallery on Tuesday. Life was finally good and Clarke wanted to let Lexa know just how much she loves her. 

 

After the trial was finished she had ran over to her mom to pick up her engagement ring. She had originally asked for her grandmas ring, but Abby beat her to it and offered the one Jake had given her twenty years prior. Before Clarke was born. It was beautiful to say the least. 

 

It felt weird to propose to her girlfriend after Lexa had already done it right after Ethan was born, but this way she could show Lexa that she was ready to take the ring back without having to ask for it. She just hoped Lexa was still on the same page as her. 

 

She gently put Ethan down in his crib and kissed him goodnight before turning on the baby call and monitor. She walked across the hallway to their own room and sat down on the bed with the ring in her hand. 

 

A few moments later Lexa emerged from the bathroom, dressed in sweatpants and a large T-shirt as she was toweling her hair dry. 

 

“Clarke? I thought you would be asleep by now” she murmured softly as she walked over to the bed. Clarke hid the ring in her hand.

 

“Yeah.. EJ has some trouble falling asleep” that was a lie. Ethan has slept on her shoulder for probably fifteen minutes before she finally put him down, but she was too lost in her thoughts to notice it.

 

“Oh. You should have told me. I wouldn’t have taken so long and could have helped you”’Lexa murmured softly as she pulled Clarke close to her.

 

“I also couldn’t sleep because I... I need to ask you something” clarke said softly and looked up to lock her eyes with Lexa’s. The brunette looked at her and waited patiently for her to continue. 

 

“Of course.. you can ask me anything” Lexa said sweetly and Clarke tried to swallow her nerves. This was her girlfriend for Christ sake. They have been together for over a year, she didn’t have to be nervous about this. 

 

“I need you to sit down for me, Okay?” Clarke whispered and Lexa sat down next to her. Clarke slowly stood up and smiled down at her before getting down on her knees between Lexa’s legs. She took ahold of Lexa’s hands with her free one and blinked back a few tears as she got ready to speak. 

 

“God, this is harder than I thought” Clarke muttered quietly to herself before clearing her throat. 

“Lexa.. five months ago today.. you asked me a question.” She started and looked up at the brunette. “You asked me if I wanted marry you and become the love of your life. My answer was or course yes. It still is. You are the most loving and caring person I have ever met. You are passionate and driven and you have the ability to do amazing things, my love.” Clarke kept talking, watching as a few tears formed in Lexa’s eyes. 

 

“You are such a good mama to our baby boy, and I couldn’t have asked for a better partner.” Clarke said and her voice started cracking, taking over by her emotions. “During these past months we have had many ups and downs... but we always manage to work things out, and not matter what I know that you will always be there for me. Just like I will always be there for you. I love you so so much” Clarke whispered as she gently brushed a few tears that had fallen from Lexa’s eyes. 

 

“Five months ago today.. you asked me if I wanted to marry you.” Clarke repeated softly as she slowly moved the hand with the ring, opening it in front of Lexa. “Today I’m doing the same” Clarke said, her lips quivering with each word she spoke. “Alexandria Woods” She said with a smile on her lips. “Will you marry me?” Clarke whispered and Lexa threw her arms around Clarke’s neck and pulled her in for a searing kiss. 

 

Clarke kissed her back softly, a hand gently cupping her cheek. “Is that a yes?” Clarke mumbled against her lips and Lexa nodded her head repeatedly. Too choked up to answer with words. 

 

“I love you so much.” Clarke murmured as she placed the ring on Lexa’s finger, and Lexa abruptly stood up and walked over to her nightstand, opening the drawer and pulling out the other ring. She walked over to Clarke and gently placed it on her finger before capturing her lips again. 

 

“I love you too, baby. So much” she sniffled as she buried her face in Clarke’s neck. Just taking in the scent of her fiancée.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any thoughts? 
> 
>  
> 
> Don’t hate because the trial part sucks, hahaha. I have no idea what I was thinking. But! It is over now and they can finally move on!


	11. New beginnings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so here is the next chapter. I don’t know if anyone actually bothers to read the shit I write here, but I do it anyways.
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you for sticking around if you’re still reading this. I love reading your comments, hahah. 
> 
>  
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

It was the fourth of February. Almost two weeks after the trial. Clarke walked excitedly from the parking lot and towards the entrance of the art gallery. The opening was in four days and she couldn’t wait. She carried Ethan in his car seat with her because she couldn’t leave him at home. Lexa had work today too, and Abby has a shift at the hospital, so she couldn’t watch him either. Not that it bothered the blonde so much. It only meant spending more time with her son, and she was fine with that. 

 

She carefully opened the door and Dante turned to greet her at the juggling of the bell. 

 

He clapped his hands together and walked to greet her. “Ah, Miss Clarke. I am so glad you could make it” he smiled sweetly at her and Clarke was screaming with joy inside. 

 

“Dante! It’s nice to see you again” she smiled widely at him and sat Ethan’s seat down before giving the man a brief hug. “I’m sorry I’m late, I couldn’t find anyone to watch him for me today. I hope you don’t mind” she said apologetically and gestured to Ethan who looked up at his mommy and gurgled. 

 

Dante just brushed it off “it is perfectly fine. He can join us on the tour today. I’ll show you around so you can familiarize yourself with the place, and then I will give you the work schedule with instructions and information that you might need” he said softly and Clarke nodded at him, thankful that Ethan wasn’t going to be a problem. She carefully unbuckled him and lifted him out of the seat. 

 

“You can place the car seat behind the counter if you’d like.” He said and gestured to where Clarke could put it. Clarke complied and quickly put it away before joining the man again. 

 

“Are you ready to begin?” He asked sweetly and Clarke nodded excitedly as she followed after him, studying every little detail in the different rooms. When they got to the part with abstract paintings, one painting in particular captured Ethan’s attention and Clarke walked closer to it so the baby could have a closer look. 

 

It didn’t surprise Clarke that it captured Ethan’s attention at all because the painting was filled with light and dark contrasts. “Would you look at that” Dante said as he studied the baby’s behavior. Ethan gurgled and reached out to touch the painting. Looking at it with big eyes. 

 

“He loves contrasts” Clarke explained as she noticed Dante studying her son. 

 

“Very fascinating” he said and smiled sweetly at Clarke. “Maybe he will be the next big thing in the future” he added and Clarke chuckled and nodded her head. Personally she had a feeling that Ethan would grow to like football like Lexa in high school. She wasn’t surprised when she found out that Lexa was the captain of the football team.

 

They continued to walk around the gallery, Dante kept explaining the different paintings and Clarke listened closely as Ethan started to fall asleep in her arms. The ended up back by the entrance and stopped by a blank spot at the very start of the exhibition. 

 

Clarke looked confused as to why the man stopped the tour at a blank space and turned to look at him. He only gave her a cheeky smile before clasping his hands together. 

 

“You’re probably wondering why this is the last stop” he smiled at her and Clarke nodded. “Remember when I asked if I could borrow your painting for the opening of my new gallery?” He asked and Clarke nodded again. She was slowly starting to catch up to what was happening but didn’t want to get her hopes up. 

 

“I thought this would be a great spot for the new rising artist of Polis” he said and smiled at Clarke who swore the world stopped in that moment. 

 

“B-But this is the best spot in the gallery. Everyone would see” Clarke stuttered and Dante smiled widely at her. 

 

“I know. I saved it especially for your painting. You have true talent Miss Griffin. I have never seen anything like it actually. The way you capture the light in you art work, you blow my mind. It is well deserved and you deserve to be recognized for your extraordinary talent” he smiled and Clarke felt a few tears stinging behind her eyes. The only other person who had said something like that was Lexa. The very first day of class over a year and a half ago. 

 

“Oh don’t cry Clarke. I didn’t mean to upset you” he said softly and placed a hand on her shoulder to comfort her. 

 

“Oh no. I’m not sad, God, I’m just... you just.. only one person has complimented my work the way you just did and it... this is just so surreal” she said as she wiped a tear that fell. 

 

“This is well deserved, Clarke. Never think otherwise. I know talent when I see it” he smiled at het and Ethan looked up at his mommy and and started to pout at the sight of the tears in her eyes. 

 

They finished up the tour and Dante handed her a folder with all the things she would need to know, including some extra tickets for the opening night. 

 

——————

 

Lexa sat behind her desk and watched the students as they painted on the canvases she had distributed to them. It was silent in the room aside from the occasional stroke of a brush against the surfaces. It was moments like these she found herself missing Clarke. It made her think of how things were last year when they first got together. Their small shared smiles and the shy gazes as they couldn’t keep their eyes off of each other. 

 

She sighed and scribbled down some notes for her next lesson. Her thoughts drifted again and she found herself drawing a sketch of Clarke and Ethan together. It was from her memory of the first time Clarke held their baby at the hospital, after waking up from her emergency surgery.

 

A knock at the door brought her back to reality and she walked over to open the door, not wanting the person to disrupt her students. She opened the door and her jaw dropped to the floor at the sight of Clarke on the other side, holding the car seat with their sleeping baby. 

 

“Clarke” she smiled widely and pulled her in for a hug. Clarke hugged her back immediately and kissed her cheek softly. “What are you doing here?” Lexa asked as she couldn’t stop grinning. 

 

“We wanted to come see you” Clarke said simply and gestured to herself and Ethan. “He missed his mama and the tour of the gallery went a lot quicker than I expected, so I figured why not.” 

 

“I missed you too” Lexa said before casting a quick glance in all directions before leaning forward to capture Clarke’s lips in a sweet kiss. “Do you want to come inside? They are just painting, but I think they could use a ten minute break soon” Lexa asked softly and Clarke nodded her head. Lexa held the door open for Clarke to walk in with Ethan first and followed closely behind. 

 

The new addition to the room gained the attention of the students and they all looked up at the baby on the teachers desk. A student raised his hand and Lexa nodded for him to ask his question. 

 

“Miss Woods, is that your baby?” The boy, Aden, asked. 

 

“Yes, he is” she answered and a course of ‘awws’ echoed through the room as Ethan started to wake up. “I got it” Clarke whispered softly and quickly unbuckled him and picked him up, giving him over to Lexa. 

 

They were soon surrounded by students who wanted to get a closer look at their son and Clarke laughed softly at how overwhelming the students could be. 

 

“What’s his name?”

 

“How old is he?”

 

“How come he looks like the both of you when you’re both girls?”

 

“Can we hold him?” 

 

They all asked at the same time and Lexa put up a hand to silence them all as Ethan started to fuss at the new attention. 

 

“His name is Ethan Jacob, but we usually just call him Ethan or EJ for short” she said and Clarke smiled at her, encouraging her to continue. She loved how Lexa was around their son. It was clear that she was a proud mama. 

 

“He is almost six months old now, and he looks like the both of us because he is our son” Lexa said simply not wanting to go into detail about her anatomy to make the students understand. 

 

“You can hold him if you want, but one at a time, and please be careful. You don’t have to hold a hand behind his head, he is capable of holding it up himself, but please support his back a little” she said as she carefully handed him over to the first student in line. 

 

“He is so tiny” Maddie said softly as she held him in her arms. Lexa chuckled because she thought he was getting big. Of course, her students hadn’t seen him before this day, so to them he was probably a bit tiny. She held him for a few more moments before handing him back to Lexa again. 

 

“Miss Woods, May I please hold him?” Aden asked and Lexa smiled and gave the same instructions. It continued like that until everyone who wanted had gotten to hold the boy. She could tell that the attention was a bit much for Ethan, but he handled it like a champ as he always did. 

 

Time flew by and soon the lesson was over and the ten minute break turned into a thirty minute break and then the bell rang. Every student packed their bags and said a quick goodbye before leaving the classroom and the two women alone. 

 

“You are such an amazing teacher” Clarke said as she toyed with the collar of Lexa’s shirt after the brunette had put their son back in his seat. 

 

“Yeah?” Lexa asked softly and Clarke leaned forward to place a soft kiss against her lips. “Mhm” She hummed as they parted. “I never thought I got to kiss you in this room again” Clarke smirked and Lexa hit her shoulder playfully at Clarke’s behavior. 

 

“Yeah, well, life works in funny ways” Lexa whispered before capturing her lips again. Clarke hummed against them and smiled when they parted. 

 

“Ready to head home?” Clarke asked softly and Lexa nodded her head. She quickly packed her stuff and grabbed Ethan’s car seat. They walked outside and Lexa smiled when she saw that Clarke had taken up Titus’ parking spot next to hers. 

 

Clarke sent Lexa a smirk because she knew how much Titus hated it when others used his parking spot. 

 

“You’re lucky you’re not his student anymore” Lexa teased and Clarke burst out laughing. Titus was a pain in the ass, always driving his students to the floor during gym class. 

 

“Yeah, I am.. I kind of miss being a student here though” The blonde said thoughtfully as she placed Ethan’s seat in the back. Buckling him up before adjusting the mirror above the seat so he could look at himself. 

 

—————

 

“Relax Griffin” Raven said as she came to pick up Ethan for the day. It was Thursday, the day before the gallery opening, which meant no work for either Clarke or Lexa, which meant girlfriend quality time. 

 

“Are you sure you and Anya can handle this?” She asked nervously when the latter walked up behind Raven. 

 

“Clarke. It’s only for a few hours. We will drop him off back here at ten okay. Enjoy some time with your girlfriend. Besides... Anya is kind of baby sick. She’s always drooling over EJ, so this will be aunty bonding time.” Raven said assuringly. 

 

Clarke bit her nail nervously. This was the first time Ethan would spend apart from the both of them since the Costia incident and Clarke knew she had no reason to be nervous. It was just hard to let someone watch her son after what had happened. 

 

“Okay, look. Take this” Raven said as she handed a tablet to the blonde. “See that. It’s a map of the state... see that red spot.” Raven asked and Clarke nodded. “That’s EJ...” She said as Lexa came walking down the stairs with Ethan on her arm. 

 

Clarke looked at Raven, silently thanking her. “The tracker is in the little bracelet.. so as long as he is wearing it, you’ll know where he is. I know this is hard for the both of you, but it’s me and Anya watching him. We won’t take our eyes off of him” The Latina said and placed a comforting hand on Clarke’s shoulder.

 

“Ready?” Anya asked and Lexa smiled as she strapped the baby to the car seat. “Say bye to mommy” Lexa said in her baby voice and Clarke chuckled at her silliness. Clarke kissed the top of his head and anxiously fiddled with her fingers as Raven and Anya bid their goodbyes before walking out the door. 

 

Lexa stood behind Clarke, arms wrapped around her waist. She rested her chin on the blondes shoulder and pressed a kiss to her cheek. “He will be fine, Clarke” Lexa whispered and Clarke could hear that she too was a bit nervous about letting their son out of sight.

 

“I know” Clarke murmured and turned around to hug her girlfriend properly. Lexa kissed the top of her head. Clarke smiled up at her and tugged her into the living room again. 

 

————

 

Raven was playing with Ethan on the floor of her campus apartment, while Anya made them dinner. She was fascinated by how Ethan would roll and crawl around on his stomach, reaching for things to grab. 

 

“Reyes. Are you sure your floor is baby proof? There aren’t any screws or shit like that he can accidentally swallow?” Anya asked from the kitchen but Raven was too occupied studying the baby to notice. “Reyes.. you know Clarke is gonna kill you if her son ends up in the h-“ Anya said as she came walking into the living room, apron on and spatula in her hand. 

 

“Shh.” Raven cut her off with her eyes still on the baby. “Look at him” she said adoringly and Anya rolled her eyes, because duh.  
“I know he is adorable, just don’t let him choke on anything” Anya said before she disappeared into the kitchen again. 

 

Raven picked him up and joined Anya in the kitchen. She held Ethan in her arms and made flying noises as they played flying machine around in the small kitchen. 

 

“You’re such a weirdo” Anya teased as she flipped a burger. 

 

“You love me anyways” Raven shot back with a smirk, continuing to play with her favorite god son. 

 

“That I do” Anya murmured softly and Raven grinned at her widely. Before continuing playing with Ethan.

 

————

 

“Clarke... why is Raven sending me pictures of our son laying on the floor basically doing nothing?” Lexa asked from where she laid behind Clarke on the couch. 

 

“Because she is weird. Just ignore her” the blonde mumbled sleepily as she tugged at Lexa’s arm to drape it around her waist again. 

 

“Okay” Lexa whispered and cuddled close to her girlfriend. 

 

After a few moments Clarke started to huff and shit against her and Lexa was about to aske what was wrong but then Clarke turned around to face her. 

 

“Lex.. d.. I.. I was thinking” the blonde started and Lexa looked at her, silently letting her know that she was paying attention. 

 

“Do I have to go to college?” Clarke asked and Lexa’s eyes widened slightly because she didn’t want this conversation between them to cause problems with Clarke and the blondes mother. 

 

“Well... I.. no. Many people who don’t go to college or uni end up being successful, but where is this coming from?” Lexa said softly and played with blond hair.

 

“I... I don’t know. I’m just.. I don’t think I can do it. You know. Going back to school, being away from Ethan after spending so much time with him. And being away from you. I hate that Polis university has a policy that all freshmen has to live on campus the first year.” Clarke huffed and Lexa nodded in understanding. The freshman rule could be a real pain sometimes. 

 

“There are other options too, baby. You can go wherever you want” Lexa smiled softly at her. She didn’t like the idea of Clarke being far away, but if it became too much she could always resign and find a new job wherever Clarke would be. 

 

“That’s the thing though.. Lex.. I- I don’t want to. I’ve been thinking and since I am now working for Dante I sort of have a stable job, and you definitely have one. So, what if I don’t go back to school?” Clarke asked softly, looking at the brunette intently.

 

Lexa took a breath before answering. “Hey.. you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to okay. And besides... I can always be your sugar mama” Lexa smirked and Clarke hit her arm playfully before smiling softly at her.

 

“Thank you” she murmured before capturing the brunette’s lips in a sweet kiss. She tangled her hands in brunette hair and pulled her closer to deepen the kiss. Lexa gently flipped Clarke on her back, slowly spreading her legs before laying between them. Clarke tugged at her shirt, starting to unbutton it, working her way down the brunette’s stomach. 

 

“Clarke, are you sure?” Lexa breathed against her lips. She didn’t care that they had been together for over a year, she needed the blonde to give her consent. She would never pressure her into doing anything. 

 

“Yes” Clarke whispered before capturing her lips again, making easy work of getting her girlfriend out of her shirt before pulling her own sweater over her head. Lexa trailed kisses down her throat and to her chest, taking her time and leaving a few marks along the way. Clarke reached behind her back to unclasp her bra, throwing it aside. 

 

Lexa sat back on her heels, taking off her own bra before laying down on top of Clarke again. Pressing their nipples together. Clarke moaned softly at the touch and Lexa captured her lips again. She couldn’t get enough of the taste of her girlfriend. Clarke’s hands wandered between their bodies and down to the hem of Lexa’s sweat pants, untying them before reaching inside them. She played with the hem of Lexa’s boxers letting her hands trace the outline of her dick.

 

Lexa moaned at the feeling of Clarke touching her. She loved how Clarke was touching her, careful but firmly at the same time. The brunette pecked Clarke’s lips one last time before discarding the blondes jeans, leaving her with only her panties. 

 

She leaned back down and kissed the fabric covering Clarke’s sex. Her hands slowly pulling the panties down in the process. She carefully dragged them down Clarke’s legs and gasped. 

 

“You shaved?” Lexa asked, not understanding how or when her girlfriend would have time to do it. She loved it though. 

 

“Yeah, I was feeling gross this morning so I shaved.” Clarke said softly and looked at Lexa. The brunette quickly moved on top of her again, careful not to squeeze her with her weight. 

 

“Clarke, you could never be gross” Lexa murmured and placed soft kisses all over her face before pecking her lips. Clarke was completely naked underneath her, the only barrier between them was Lexa’s boxers. 

 

Lexa slowly crawled down Clarke’s body again, kissing her way down. She placed kisses on the insides of Clarke’s thighs and the blonde’s breathing got heavier with each kiss. “Lexa... please” Clarke begged, and Lexa slowly moved her kisses closer to where Clarke wanted them. She kissed the top of her mound before taking a broad swipe of her tongue. She spread the blondes folds apart and sucked gently on her clit, wanting to take her time.

 

“Baby.. that feels so good” Clarke breathed out and grabbed onto brunette locks. 

 

Lexa sucked harder and could feel herself hardening in her briefs. The sounds Clarke was making was more than enough to get her turned on. She pushed one finger inside the blonde, testing out the waters. She was pleasantly surprised at how wet Clarke was. 

 

“Lex.. baby.. I need you inside me” Clarke whispered, her voice laced with arousal.

“Patience my love” Lexa said softly and pushed another finger inside of her girl, starting a slow pace. She worked her fingers in and out of her, drawing her closer to an orgasm. 

 

“L-Lexa” Clarke groaned as Lexa sped up the motion with her hand. She latched her lips around Clarke’s clit again and started sucking hard. It only took a few more pumps of her fingers before Clarke stiffened beneath her and let out a guttural moan echoing through the room. 

 

“I love you” Lexa whispered as Clare came back to her senses. The blonde quickly flipped them over and dragged Lexa’s boxers down her legs leaving her exposed on the couch. 

 

“I’m not the only one who shaved I see” Clarke smirked and Lexa was about to say something but it died in her throat as Clarke tugged at her dick, guiding it to her entrance. She sank down on it and leaned forward to capture Lexa’s lips as she slid down inch by inch. 

 

“God you feel so good” Clarke breathed against her lips and started a slow rhythm with her hips. “You’re so tight baby” Lexa moaned as Clarke slowly sped up. Clarke took a hold of Lexa’s hands and laced their fingers together as she started to ride her faster, enjoying the sounds escaping her girlfriend. 

 

“C-Clarke” Lexa whimpered, wanting to touch her girlfriend. She untangled their fingers and sat up so she could wrap her arms around Clarke.

 

“You feel so good inside me, baby” Clarke moaned and Lexa grabbed on for dear life as Clarke started riding her like there was no tomorrow. “Is gosh.. I’m so close, baby.” Clarke whispered as she slowly started to lose her rhythm. 

 

Lexa placed her hands on the blondes hips, guiding her down on her dick as she started thrusting into her. “That’s it baby.. you’re taking my dick so good! So good, baby” Lexa breathed into her ear and Clarke clawed down her back, leaving angry red marks. Lexa could feel Clarke start to clench around her shaft and the familiar fluttering in her lower stomach.

 

“L-lexa” Clarke groaned as Lexa pulled her down onto her shaft with every thrust. “Fuck! Baby.. I’m gonna cum... I’m so close. Please, cum with me” The blonde whimpered and Lexa kissed her hard as clarke clenched around her. Lexa followed into her own orgasm seconds later and shot her load into Clarke. 

 

“Fuck” Lexa said breathlessly as she placed lazy kisses to Clarke’s lips. 

 

“Fuck indeed” Clarke said as she collapsed her weight on Lexa who leaned back down against the couch again. Clarke could feel Lexa go slack inside of her, but she didn’t want her girlfriend to pull out yet. 

 

At the feeling of their combined cum, Lexa suddenly remembered something very important.

 

“Clarke...” she said with wide eyes. “You’re not on the pill”

 

“I know” Clarke whispered. The blonde hadn’t gone back on the pill after Ethan was born because she was afraid it was going to fuck up her breastmilk and harm their baby. She knew it was unlikely, but she still chose to not take it.

 

“Clarke..” Lexa breathed. 

 

“It’s okay, baby. I can just take plan B..” she said softly and leaned their foreheads together. “Or, you know... we don’t have to do anything and just see what happens” she murmured softly and Lexa looked up at her with unshed tears in her eyes.

 

“Are you absolutely sure? Because we can-“ Lexa started but Clarke cut her off with a kiss. 

 

“I’m sure” the blonde said softly before connecting their lips again. “I want another baby, Lex, I don’t care if it happens now, or later or if we have to adopt. I just want a big family with you” she whispered and Lexa pulled her close, draping a blanket over their naked bodies. 

 

“I love you” Lexa murmured and littered her face with sweet kisses.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey how you doin well I’m doin just fine I lied I’m dying inside... 
> 
>  
> 
> Jk. 
> 
>  
> 
> But seriously, thank you for reading. I appreciate it. I don’t know if this story makes sense anymore. I feel like I disappointed some of you by cutting the first part short.


	12. EJ

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And another chapter while I’m procrastinating my homework until the very last minute ;)
> 
> I hope you enjoy this. It’s just a happy little chapter with the clexa family :3

Clarke walked nervously towards the entrance of the gallery. It was opening night and she was on the verge of passing out. She had spent the day pacing around, stressing to get ready. Lexa held Ethan on her arm as they made their way to the doors. They were wearing matching suits, while Clarke wore an elegant black dress. 

“It will be okay, baby” Lexa whispered in her ear, hugging her close before they entered through the door. 

 

Dante spotted the trio immediately and smiled widely as he walked over to them. “Clarke, my rising artist” he said and enveloped her in a brief hug. 

 

“Hi” Clarke breathed as she took in the place, she glanced around and her eyes landed on Lexa who was taking the whole thing in. Even their son looked on with awe. 

 

“I set your painting up! Come come” he said excitedly and led them towards the main room. It was covered by a white sheet that Dante would pull away after his opening speech. The gallery was slowly filling up as the minutes passed and Lexa hugged Clarke close, kissing the top of her head. 

 

“Are you nervous?” Lexa asked softly and Clarke nodded her head. She wasn’t mentally prepared for all these people to see her painting, amongst someone as talented and known as Dante. She was afraid that people wouldn’t like her painting.

 

Dante walked up to the microphone placed on the stage and clinked his glass of champagne. He cleared his throat and smiled sweetly at everyone in the room. “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.” He started and Clarke could feel her nerves build up. Dante wasn’t a person to drag out his speeches, and she was terrified because she knew he was a man who liked to get straight to the point. 

 

“I am so glad and honored that so many of you took the time to come join me at the opening of my new art gallery.” He said, Clarke was zoning out, her thoughts consume her. Oh god. It was happening. Soon he would pull that sheet away and that would be it. Her painting would be exposed and there was no way back. 

 

“... so without further ado.. it is an honor for me to present this piece to all you. The artist behind the painting is here tonight with her family. Please, Clarke, would you help an old man with the big reveal?” Dante said and smiled softly at her. Clarke could feel her whole body trembling as she slowly nodded her head. Lexa had to give her a small push to get her to move forward. 

 

Clarke walked on shaky legs and joined Dante on the stage. God she hadn’t been in front of this many people since graduation day. Lexa smiled reassuringly at her from the front row, with their friends and family a few rows behind. 

 

“Ready?” Dante asked her and Clarke nodded her head. They both grabbed the sheet and counted to three before pulling it down. Revealing Clarke’s painting to the audience. There was a moment of stunned silence before they started to clap and cheer. Clarke smiled widely at everyone and locked eyes with Lexa. The brunette mouthed an ‘I’m proud of you’ at her. 

 

—————

 

“Miss Griffin. Your painting is absolutely amazing” an elderly woman said as she came up to talk to her. The opening had gone well, people were walking around and taking in the different paintings. Clarke was surprised to see how many people walked up to her painting. 

 

“Oh, thank you!” Clarke smiled widely at her, holding Ethan on her arm as Lexa and her friends were walking around the gallery.

 

“I was wondering if you maybe wanted to take on a mission” the woman asked and Clarke quirked her eyebrow. “I work at the homeless shelter here in Polis, and we are looking for some great art to lighten up the place a bit. We have recently renovated the building, but the walls are still empty-“ she explained and Clarke cut her off politely.

 

“You want my painting to hang at the shelter?” Clarke asked. 

 

“Uhm, well. No. We want you to paint four new paintings specifically for shelter” the woman started. “We are willing to pay you ten thousand dollars for the pieces” the woman said and Clarke’s jaw dropped, she almost dropped Ethan too. 

 

“W-what?” She stuttered and tried to compose herself. 

 

“For the paintings. If you’re willing to do it of course. Is the price too low? We could always discuss a higher-“

 

“No, god no, the price is fine, more than fine. I was expecting you to say hundred bucks, I wasn’t expecting that” Clarke said with wide eyes. The woman smiled at her and nodded in understanding. 

 

“Well, what do you say?” She asked gently and Clarke didn’t even know why she was thinking about it. 

 

“Uhm.. I. Yeah. Okay. I’ll do it” she said hesitantly with a smile. “When do you need them to be finished?” She asked.

 

“We were thinking by the end of May? Would that be enough time?” The woman asked and Clarke nodded. Apart from being a full time mom, she didn’t have anything else to do. Well and the job at the gallery. But she had time. 

 

They stood there talking for a few more moments, before the woman thanked her and excused herself. 

 

“Who was that?” Lexa asked as she came up to her girlfriend, placing a chaste kiss to her lips. 

 

Clarke smiled at her trying to keep her excitement at bay. “It was a woman working for the homeless shelter” Clarke explained and Lexa raised her eyebrows. 

 

“What did she want?” Lexa asked confused and took a sip of her champagne. Which was alcohol free. 

 

“Oh, nothing special. She just offered me a painting job worth ten thousand dollars” Clarke said casually and Lexa choked on her spit. The brunette broke out in a coughing fit and Clarke patted her back with her free hand.

 

“What!?” Lexa asked in disbelief and Clarke explained everything to her girlfriend, and Lexa smiled softly at her. 

 

“I’m so proud of you” Lexa whispered before capturing her lips in a sweet kiss. 

 

“Let’s join the others, yeah?” Clarke said and Lexa nodded before they wandered off to join their friends and family. 

 

————

 

Lexa laid in bed, staring up at the sealing. Clarke was in the nursery trying to get their crying baby to sleep. This was definitely new. Ethan usually never cried when he was put in his crib, but tonight something was definitely wrong.

 

She carefully got up and walked into the nursery. Her heart was breaking at the sight of Ethan’s red rimmed tired eyes. 

 

“Clarke, is he okay?” Lexa asked softly as she walked up to them. Clarke was gently rocking him as she walked back and forth in front of the crib. Lexa placed her hand on the baby’s forehead, he wasn’t warm or anything like that. 

 

“He is fine, baby. Go back to sleep, I’ll join you in a second” Clarke said softly but judging by the cries Ethan let out, Clarke would be there for more than just a second. 

 

“Have you burped him? Is he having a stomach pain?” Lexa asked as she studied their baby. 

 

“No, he burped, so there shouldn’t be any stomach pain...” Clarke sighed softly as she kept rocking him. “I think he is teething” The blonde said as she gently rubbed the baby’s back, trying to soothe him. 

 

“Teething? Already?” Lexa asked shocked, clarke chuckled softly at her. 

 

“It makes sense. He is basically six months, and babies usually start their teething between five and eight months.” Clarke explained and Lexa nodded. 

 

“I’m pretty sure we bought some baby chew toys a while ago” Lexa said as she opened one of the drawers on the crib. She rummaged through them and grinned when she pulled out the environment friends chew toy. 

 

“I’ll wash it and come right up, okay” Lexa said softly and kissed Clarke’s lips quickly before running down the stairs and into the kitchen. 

 

“Shh, Ethan... it’s okay baby” Clarke said softly and sat down in the rocking chair. He squirmed in her arms. She held him in place and put her finger in his mouth so he could chew on it. “Hush little baby, don’t say a word, mama’s gonna buy you a mockingbird” Clarke started to sing softly. “And if that mockingbird don’t sing, mama will hopefully show up with that chew toy ring” Clarke kept singing. Changing the lyrics. “And if that chew toy ring won’t work..” Clarke sang and hummed as Lexa appeared in the door. 

 

Ethan had calmed down slightly l, but he was still fussing as Lexa gently put the toy to his mouth, letting him bite over it. The crying stopped immediately and they watched in awe as their son got quiet and chewed on the toy. 

 

“He is growing up so fast” Lexa murmured and Clarke hummed. Ethan was nearly at the point where he could sit up by himself for a couple of minutes without support. And now he was teething too. 

 

They sat with him together as he slowly started to droop in Clarke’s arms. Lexa sat on the floor watching her girlfriend and son intently. She loved them more than anything in the world. She was curious if she had gotten Clarke pregnant again, but they wouldn’t find out for another few days. It was recommended to take a test 1-2 weeks after for the most accurate results. 

 

Clarke carefully stood up. They had been trying to teach Ethan to fall asleep on his own for the past couple of days, and it was working pretty okay. She gently laid him down in the crib and onto the blanket there, before tucking him in. 

 

“Lex.. I think we have to lower the mattress and the plate soon” Clarke murmured as they stood there watching him. “He is at the stage where he is getting stronger and I don’t want to find him on the floor one of these mornings” she whispered and turned around to hug her girlfriend. 

 

“Yeah.. I’ll fix it tomorrow” Lexa murmured, placing a kiss on top of the blondes head, before turning off the lights and walking them Back into their bedroom. 

 

————

 

Clarke was pacing around in the bathroom. Lexa had offered to come in with her, but Clarke had told her no. She would find out anyway. The five minutes it took for the test to show the results seemed to drag on forever as the timer on her phone slowly counted down the minutes. 

Lexa stood outside with Ethan on her arm, nervously waiting for Clarke to come out with the news. They had decided that the results were whatever and that if it was positive, they would obviously be happy about the news and would prepare for a new family member in nine months, but at the same time, if it was negative, they could always try again. There was no pressure on them after all. Clarke was nineteen and Lexa would be turning twenty five during summer. And they also had a wedding to plan.

 

Lexa was about to knock on the door to ask how it was going when she heard the timer go off. She leaned her head against the door to try to listen for Clarke’s reaction, but couldn’t hear much from the other side. 

 

When the door still hadn’t opened after two minutes, Lexa understood that the results probably were negative. She knocked softly on the door. 

 

“Clarke?” She asked but got no answer. She tried the door handle but the door was locked. “Baby? Are you okay?” Lexa murmured from outside the door. Clarke still didn’t answer, but Lexa could hear some sniffing from the other side and all she wanted to do was be on the other side to comfort her girlfriend. 

 

She carefully sat down against the door, placing Ethan in her lap. She held their baby boy close as she listened to Clarke’s silent crying. 

 

“Clarke... I.. I know it hurts, baby... Okay. But it’s not the end of the world” Lexa said softly. “I know you want a big family.. I do to, but we have time, Okay? We can try again” Lexa kept her voice as calm and soothing as possible. “I love you so much... and Ethan loves you so so much too.” 

 

At the mention of their son’s name, the door opened carefully and Lexa fell backwards, lifting Ethan up as her body collided with the floor, shielding him from the impact. 

 

“Clarke” Lexa breathed and quickly got up to her feet, handing their baby over to her. Clarke gladly accepted him as she wiped her tears with one hand. Lexa was quick to envelope her in a tight hug. 

 

“It’s okay” she murmured and stroked the blondes back gently. “It’s okay, we can try again” she murmured and placed soft kisses to her forehead. 

 

Clarke leaned forward and captured Lexa’s lips with her own. Locking their lips in a lingering kiss before pulling back. “I love you” Clarke whispered and Lexa smiled softly her. 

 

They made their way downstairs and Clarke sat down on the couch with Ethan. She hugged him close as Lexa sat down next to them. 

 

“Do you want anything? Should I make you some food? A drink? You want a snack?” The brunette asked softly but Clarke shook her head. Lexa moved some blonde stray hairs behind Clarke’s ear and gently stroked her cheek. 

 

“You’re so beautiful” she whispered softly and gently caressed her face. Clarke’s lips trembled slightly and Lexa leaned forward to peck her lips. “I love you so much.” She breathed as they parted and Clarke leaned their foreheads together. 

 

“I love you too” Clarke murmured softly. 

 

They sat in silence for a while, Ethan babbling and gurgling between them. “Hey Clarke...” Lexa said with a soft smile. Clarke turned her head to look at her, encouraging her to continue. “With all the stress with the trial and the opening of the gallery I realized we have forgotten to introduce Ethan to solid foods” Lexa said and Clarke smiled softly. They had indeed forgotten to do that. 

 

“You wanna do that now?” Clarke asked and looked at Lexa’s eyes. Lexa looked down at her watch noticing the time. “Yeah. It is almost feeding time, so why not? It will take our mind off of things” Lexa said softly and Clarke looked at her for a few moments before nodding her head. 

 

They made their way into the kitchen, and Clarke placed Ethan in the high chair. Over the past week they had started feeding him his dinner bottle in the chair, to get him accustomed to it. He didn’t like it at first, but once Lexa had figured how to tilt the seat of the chair backwards, it had gotten better. 

 

Clarke clasped the safety buckles over his shoulders so he wouldn’t fall out if they forgot to pay attention.

Lexa went to the fridge to grab a glass of Earth’s Best Organic sweet potato and chicken dinner. She poured the content into a baby bowl and heated it for a bit. She tested the temperature on her wrist before grabbing a new spoon and walking over to Clarke and Ethan. 

 

Clarke carefully clasped the baby bib on him, before taking the bowl with goo from Lexa. She put a little on the spoon and guided it to his mouth. He opened it as the spoon came in contact with his lip. Clarke struggled to get the content into his mouth without spilling. 

 

They switched feeding him. Clarke giving him two spoons, then Lexa. They kept feeding him until he started to spit it out, signaling that he was finished. The high chair and baby was a mess to say the least, and Clarke took a soft cloth and wiped around his mouth before taking of the bib, throwing it in the laundry bin. 

She unclasped him from the chair as Lexa cleaned up the mess they had made trying to feed him. 

 

“He’s gonna need a bath” Clarke murmured softly as she walked up to Lexa. 

 

“Yeah.. if you start getting him ready I will join you in a few to help you bathe him” Lexa said softly before pecking her lips. 

 

Clarke carried Ethan upstairs and placed him on the changing table. She placed a hand on his stomach to keep him from rolling around as she reached for the baby bath, trying her best to get it to the shower. 

She quickly undressed him and placed a towel on the floor. She placed Ethan on the towel before properly putting the baby bath inside the shower. She adjusted the temperature and kept an eye on the baby the whole time.

 

Lexa came walking in after a few minutes. She picked up her boy and went over to Clarke to place him in the baby tub. She quickly pecked Clarke’s lips before the blonde stood up to grab the wash cloths, and place a clean towel and his pj’s on the changing table. 

 

She joined Lexa on the floor and they shared a soft smile. It had been a while since they gave him a bath together now. 

 

“We’ll have to buy a new baby tub for him soon” Clarke said softly as she noticed that Ethan was starting to outgrow it. They still had a few weeks to do so though. 

 

“Yeah” Lexa murmured. “Pass me the soap?” Lexa asked softly and Clarke Smiled before handing it over. Ethan was babbling to himself and Lexa soaped him him. Clarke helped clean him off with the cloth. They had accepted a long time ago that they would end up getting wet every time they would give him a bath, so when he was finished and clean, Clarke lifted him out of the bath and held him close as she walked to the changing table.

 

“He’s so handsome” Lexa said as Clarke dried him off and ruffled his hair. Lexa played with the baby hair and made a Mohawk, making Clarke laugh softly. She grabbed the baby oil and oiled him up, before putting on his diaper. 

 

Ethan kept gurgling happily as his mommies placed kisses to his tiny feet and belly. 

 

Clarke dressed him in his pajamas, and when she was about to zip it up, Ethan reached his hands up to her and babbled incoherently and she smiled down at him. 

 

“Are you talking to yourself buddy?” She asked with a smile. Lexa had secretly sneaked her phone out of her pocket and started recording the cute little moment. 

 

Ethan looked up at her with his big green-blue eyes. The baby kept babbling and Clarke chuckled softly. “Are you mommy’s big boy? Huh” she smiled at him before picking him up. 

 

“..m. a.. mamama...” Ethan kept babbling while looking into his mommy’s eyes. Lexa looked at Clarke in shock. Did their son just? Clarke looked equally surprised. 

 

“Did he just?” Lexa asked with wide eyes and Clarke smiled brightly, tears forming in her eyes.

 

“mamamama” Ethan kept talking and Lexa had the biggest grin on her face. She had captured their son’s first word on camera. 

 

“Are you talking?” Clarke asked him as her happy tears fell from her eyes. She littered his face with kisses as he kept babbling to himself. Lexa leaned forward to capture Clarke’s lips, letting it linger before parting and smiling fondly at their baby boy. 

 

With their son’s first words, Clarke had forgotten all about the negative pregnancy test. It was moments like these that mattered. That gave her joy and happiness. They could always try to get pregnant later. 

But for the time being, she was happy with their little family of three.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any thoughts? 
> 
>  
> 
> Oh! And if I decide for them to have another baby, would you want it to be a boy or a girl? 
> 
> I’m also open for name suggestions ^^
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you for reading! I appreciate every single one of you <3


	13. Mission impossible

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter while I am continuing to procrastinate my homework that is due for tomorrow! :3
> 
>  
> 
> Hope you like it!

Clarke laid on the couch, cuddling with Ethan. They had woken up to a sick baby crying his heart out at five in the morning, and Clarke had immediately feared the worst at the sight of their boy. Lexa had ran across the hallway after her, trying to help comfort their son.

   
He had been burning up and they rushed him to the hospital. It was their first experience with a sick child, and Clarke was so nervous. She had no idea what to do to make him feel better, but Abby had explained to her that it was normal for babies to get sick at one point or another.  
 

Now they were having a Lion King marathon, waiting for Lexa to get back from work. Clarke stroked his belly gently as he was falling asleep next to her. She had filled the smallest two ounce baby bottle with some water to keep him hydrated enough throughout the day, and Ethan was drinking like a champ when he was awake.

 

Clarke had taken the day off to be home with the baby, and his fever had gone down throughout the day. Lexa had to go to work though, she could tell how reluctant she was to leave this morning.  
 

It was crazy to think that their son would be seven months in just a few days. She hated that he was growing up so fast. She pulled the baby blanket a bit higher to tuck him in more properly and sent a picture to Lexa, hoping it would cheer her up.

 

Clarke: Look how perfect he is <3

 

Clarke hit send and snuggled her baby closer, slowly falling asleep herself.

 

—————

 

Lexa sighed as she sat her briefcase down. She kicked off her shoes and stretched her back out before walking into the kitchen. It was Friday, which meant that Ethan was staying at Abby’s house because the both of them was working.

 

It was the beginning of March, and Lexa had to mentally prepare herself for the midterms she would have to grade in the coming weeks.  
“Clarke?” She called out as she walked out of the kitchen again. “Baby, are you home?” She asked as she made her way upstairs.  
She started to unbutton her shirt, getting ready to just jump in the shower and forget about her day.

 

She unbuttoned her skirt, walking in just her underwear into their room. As she entered she stopped dead in her tracks. Dropping the clothes she was carrying.

 

Clarke was sitting cross legged on their bed, in her favorite pair of lingerie.

 

Lexa’s jaw dropped to the floor at the sight of her girlfriend. She was pretty sure she was drooling, but she didn’t care. Not when Clarke looked like that.

 

Clarke smirked as she got up to sit on her knees, beckoning Lexa to come forward. Lexa took two long strides over to her girlfriend and Clarke connected their lips in a sweet kiss.

 

“How was work?” Clarke asked softly as they parted. Lexa let her hands run down Clarke’s sides, just taking her in.

 

“It was okay” Lexa murmured before capturing her lips again. Clarke sighed softly into the kiss and tangled her fingers in brunette locks. “I missed you though” Lexa whispered as they parted again.

 

Clarke looked into her eyes. Studying the different shades of green. “Yeah?” She hummed softly and Lexa nodded her head. “I missed you too, baby” Clarke said softly before reaching behind her own back, unclasping her bra before letting it fall down between them.

 

“You’re so beautiful” Lexa breathed out as she palmed one of her breasts. Clarke placed her hands on the brunette’s hip, pulling her impossibly closer. She could feel Lexa’s hardening erection against her stomach. She swallowed audibly. 

“So are you” Clarke whispered as she toyed with the hem of Lexa’s compression shorts. She looked into Lexa’s eyes and asked her silently for permission, and Lexa nodded her head.

 

Clarke pulled them down and Lexa’s dick sprang free and slapped against her stomach. Clarke grabbed a hold of it and stroked it gently. “Is this okay?” She asked Lexa softly and Lexa was at a loss of words. All she could do was nod her head. 

Clarke sped up the movement of her hand and felt Lexa hardening even more at her touch. Lexa removed her hands from Clarke’s hips to take off her own bra. She tossed it aside, bringing her lips down to Clarke’s neck. 

 

She trailed soft kisses down her pulse point towards her chest, sucking a nipple into her mouth. “Lexa..” Clarke moaned out. She could feel how soaked her underwear was. Lexa’s hands trailed along her body, making her shiver.

 

“Lexa” Clarke breathed again and Lexa pulled back to look at her girlfriend. Clarke stared at her lovingly before leaning forward to capture her lips, biting down on her lower lip.

 

“Wanna make another baby?” She asked softly and Lexa smiled brightly at her, nodding her head before leaning forward again. She kissed Clarke deeply as she gently pushed the blonde down on the bed. Climbing on top of her. 

 

She laid between Clarke’s legs and worked her way down the blonde’s body. She pulled at the hem of the lingerie and pulled it down Clarke’s legs in one swift motion, leaving them both completely naked. She could see the glistening sheen on Clarke’s lips and bent down to kiss her sex before crawling back up. 

 

She looked into Clarke’s eyes as she positioned herself between Clarke’s legs again, the tip of her cock resting at the entrance of Clarke’s warm heat. 

 

“Are you sure?” She asked softly and Clarke nodded her vigorously. Lexa ran her dick through Clarke’s folds, lubricating her shaft before slowly pushing into her girlfriend.

 

They both moaned as Lexa slowly entered her, pushing all the way in before she halted her hips. She let Clarke adjust to her member and placed soft kisses to her lips. 

 

“Ready?” Lexa asked, looking her deeply in the eyes. Clarke nodded her head and laced their fingers together as Lexa started a slow pace. 

 

“I love you” Clarke murmured as Lexa kept pushing into her. Lexa smiled down at her and silently wondered how on earth she got someone as amazing as Clarke.

 

“I love you more” she whispered before leaning down to capture her lips, slowly picking up her pace. Clarke wrapped her legs around Lexa’s waist, pressing her heels into the brunette’s lower back, pulling her in deeper. 

 

She untangled their hands and gently gently caressed Lexa’s back, digging her nails into her skin when the brunette hit that one perfect spot inside of her. 

 

“That feels so good baby... so good” Clarke breathed out as Lexa changed the angle of her hips. The sound of skin slapping against skin filled the room and the creaking of the bed increased with every thrust. 

Lexa reached a hand between them and started rubbing circles on the blondes clit, as she upped her pace even more. 

 

“Fuck.. baby.” Clarke groaned as she scratched Lexa’s back. 

Lexa could feel the same familiar clenching of Clarke’s walls and groaned softly. “That’s it baby.. you’re so beautiful” Lexa breathed out against her lips. She sped up even more and was now pounding into her girlfriend. 

 

“Fuck! L-Lexa.. I’m gonna cum. Baby I’m so close” Clarke moaned out as Lexa kept fucking her. Lexa could feel her own orgasm approaching, slowly starting to lose the rhythm of her hips. 

 

“That’s it baby, cum for me” she said as Clarke’s walls clenched around her and Clarke’s body went rigid, toes curling. Seconds later Lexa blew her load into her girlfriend and screamed out her name before falling limp on top of her. 

 

Clarke played with brunette curls as they both tried to catch their breath. 

 

“I’ll never get tired of having you inside me” Clarke murmured as she placed soft kisses on Lexa’s forehead.

 

“Me neither” Lexa smiled up at her.

 

They stayed like that for a while, Lexa still inside of her, their bodies sweaty and spent.

 

——————

 

“Lexa! GET DOWN HERE!” Lexa heard Clarke shout from the living room. “Baby! Hurry up!” She yelled again and Lexa ran down the stairs nearly tripping over her own feet. 

 

“What? W- Clarke are you okay?” Lexa asked with worried eyes as she ran over to her girlfriend. 

 

Clarke looked at her confused for a second. “What? Yeah, I’m fine” she smiled and pecked her lips softly. “Look” Clarke said and pointed to Ethan who was standing, holding onto the coffee table.

 

Lexa’s eyes widened and she grinned as she watched their baby. “But.. he’s not supposed to do that for another month or so!” She exclaimed and looked back at Clarke.

 

“I know! He is a super baby!” Clarke cheered. Ethan gurgled at his mommies and Lexa crawled over to him. Not understanding how their barely seven month old baby managed to pull himself up to a standing position. 

 

“But how..?” Lexa whispered as she studied their baby boy. 

 

“I have no idea. I sent a picture to mom and she was equally as shocked. But it does happen sometimes” Clarke smiled as she watched Lexa and their son. 

 

Lexa lifted him away from the table and let Ethan grab her arm instead. She could feel that his legs were a bit wobbly and shaking where he stood. 

 

Suddenly he lost his balance and fell on his butt, smiling up at his mama who was beaming at him. 

 

“You’re such a good boy” she smiled and lifted him up, peppering his face with kisses. “Yeah, you’re mama’s good boy” she whispered softly and Clarke smiled at them both. 

 

“I gave him his bottle of milk, so he is ready for nap time” Clarke murmured as she walked over to them, sitting down on the floor next to Lexa. 

 

As if in cue Ethan yawned and leaned his head on Lexa’s shoulder. Clarke gently rubbed his back, before standing up again. 

 

—————

 

After putting EJ down for nap time, Clarke went into the bathroom to take another pregnancy test. Only this time Lexa was allowed to come inside with her.

She told Lexa to turn around when she had to pee on the stick though, not wanting the brunette to look at her differently. Lexa just chuckled and kissed her before turning around in the corner. 

 

“Okay, you can turn around now.” Clarke said softly as she flushed the toilet and went to wash her hands. 

 

She set a timer on her phone and sat down on the floor with Lexa as they waited. 

 

“Are you nervous?” Lexa asked softly as she wrapped her arms around her girl. Clarke leaned into her touch. 

 

“A little” Clarke whispered softly and turned to look at Lexa. “Are you?” 

 

“A little” Lexa breathed out before kissing Clarke softly. The minutes took forever just like the last time. But after what felt like and eternity, the alarm rang out into the room. 

 

Clarke turned it off and went to grab the pregnancy test. Lexa stopped her hand in mid reach and Clarke halted.

 

“No matter what the results are just remember that I love you, and that we can always try again, Okay?” Lexa said softly. Clarke turned to kiss her girlfriend deeply before they both turned their attention to the pregnancy test. 

 

Clarke reached for it slowly and her heart started racing. 

 

She brought it in front of them both before flipping the results around to reveal the answer. 

 

They both looked at it and their breaths hitched...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any thoughts? ^^


	14. These boots were made for walking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And yet another chapter. I know. Crazy right? 
> 
> There is a few small time jumps in this chapter, but nothing more than a few weeks. 
> 
>  
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

Clarke’s lip trembled slightly as she looked at the result. She moved her gaze to Lexa who was smiling brightly at her while rubbing comforting circles on her back. Clarke felt a tear run down her cheek as she read the words out loud. 

 

“Pregnant” she breathed out softly, testing the words out. It had been a little over seven months since Ethan was born, and now they were having another baby. 

 

“We did it” Clarke smiled before jumping up, Lexa followed suit. “Lexa! We’re pregnant!” Clarke shouted with glee as she pulled her girlfriend in for a lip bruising kiss. Lexa held Clarke closely and smiled against her lips. 

 

“Yeah, we did” she said softly as they parted, brushing a stray hair away from Clarke’s face. “Hopefully it will be less dramatic this time” She said jokingly, but Clarke could hear the underlying fear in her voice. 

 

Clarke brought her hand up to Lexa’s face, stroking her thumb over her cheek softly. “I promise I won’t go driving around in a storm this time” she said softly and Lexa chuckled softly. The last time had been an absolute nightmare. She was thankful every day that Clarke had survived the accident. 

 

Clarke kissed her before she opened the bathroom door ready to get out of there and relax. However, Lexa placed a gentle arm on her wrist effectively halting her. “And Clarke... if you’re craving cookies at two in the morning again, please tell me, yeah?” Lexa said with a smirk, though she was being genuine and Clarke could hear the underlying fear yet again. 

 

She didn’t want the cookie disaster of twenty eighteen to repeat itself. Clarke playfully hit her shoulder before placing one last kiss to her lips. 

 

————

 

“So how is everything going?” Anya asked as she sat down in her favorite chair. She had decided to drop by her cousins house when Clarke had claimed her girlfriend for a non-significant other shopping spree.

 

“It’s good.” Lexa smiled as she read through her students papers. She was actually really impressed by some of them. “We’re doing great” she repeated as she put her work away. She didn’t want to be bad company.

 

She was dying to tell her about the pregnancy, but she and Clarke had agreed to await the big reveal. At least until the blonde was starting to show a bit.

 

“Where is the little man?” Anya asked as she casually scrolled through Netflix on the Tv. She could tell that Lexa wanted to say something, she was just waiting for her cousin to crack under pressure. 

 

“He is upstairs, Asleep. I have to wake him in like an hour or so for his lunch though” Lexa explained as she leaned back against the couch cushion. She let out a sigh and Anya looked at her with raised brows.

 

“You okay?” Anya asked as she studied her carefully. 

 

“Yeah, I’m fine” Lexa said, but her voice came out in a higher pitch than normal.

 

“Really? Because you seem fidgety.” 

 

“It’s been a long day An” Lexa huffed as she stared at the TV, avoiding Anya’s gaze at all cost. 

 

“It’s barely one in the afternoon Lex. And it is Saturday. You’re hiding something.” Anya stated and Lexa looked at her with wide eyes. 

 

“W-What? No I’m not” Lexa protested and looked over to her cousin.

 

“You are definitely hiding something” Anya said as she put on a random episode of Parks and Rec. 

 

“I’m not hiding anything, Anya” Lexa said exasperatedly as she crossed her arms over her chest. 

 

“If you say so.” Anya mumbled and looked back at the Tv. Lexa kept changing positions next to her. “Lex.. you know you can tell me anything, right?” Anya said softly after a while. Lexa looked down at her own hands and nodded her head.

 

“Yeah, I know. And if it was something, I would have told you” Lexa answered and checked the time on her watch. 

 

“It’s about Clarke, isn’t it?” Anya asked with a smirk. That had to be the reason. That’s why Lexa looked like she was struggling to not say whatever it was that she wanted to say. 

 

“What? Pft.. me and Clarke are fine. We’ve never been better” Lexa said and a soft smile spread across her face at the thought of her girlfriend. 

 

“Oh my god..” Anya said and threw her hands up. “How did I not see this!?” She said excitedly and jumped on the couch next to Lexa. “It’s so obvious! The fidgeting part. The dying yet happy expression on your face! It was exactly the same before Ethan was born” Anya talked to herself and Lexa knew her cousin had figured it out. “Clarke is pregnant!” She exclaimed and shot a knowing gaze in Lexa’s direction.

Lexa knew she was about to be in a shit ton of trouble with Clarke for this. But it was Anya! She hadn’t told her, Anya had figured it out on her own. 

 

“Okay, fine, yes. We are pregnant” Lexa finally caved and Anya had a shit eating grin on her face. “But! You can’t tell anyone! And please don’t let Clarke know that you know!” She added fast with a pleading look. 

 

“Oh relax, cus. I won’t tell a soul.” Anya smiled at her before going back to watch the tv. 

 

A few moments passed before Lexa’s phone vibrated on the table. Clarke’s name flashing across the screen. She reached for it and hit the answer button.

 

“Hey baby, how’s it going?” She said with a smile. 

 

“Hey babe. It’s going okay... but... RavensortoffiguredoutthatIampregnant” Clarke said in one breath.

 

“I didn’t quite catch that last part. Could you please repeat that?” Lexa asked confused and she could hear Clarke take a breath before sighing on the other side. 

 

“Raven found out about the pregnancy” Clarke sighed and Lexa could tell that her girlfriend was genuinely upset. 

 

“Clarke... I.. it’s okay.” Lexa said softly but she could hear sniffling from the other side. 

 

“No it’s not. It’s not okay. Baby, we said we would keep it a secret and I couldn’t even keep my mouth shut for half an hour.” Clarke said sadly and Lexa wanted to be there with her more than anything, just to hold her and comfort her. 

 

“Baby.. I promise. It’s okay. It’s just one person. Maybe we have to tell people sooner than we planned, but it’s not the end of the world, Okay?” Lexa said softly. 

 

“Yeah, I know... I just feel bad” Clarke said, her voice tinted with sadness. 

 

“Okay. How about I wake EJ up, and we will come to the mall so we can all have ice cream together? Would that be okay?” Lexa suggested, a small smile on her face. 

 

“Yeah.. please” Clarke whispered softly into the phone and Lexa smiled wider. 

 

“Okay, we’ll see you soon baby” Lexa said, looking at her watch. They could be there in twenty minutes if she woke Ethan up right away. 

 

“Yeah, see you soon. I love you” Lexa heard Clarke say and she slowly got up from the couch. 

 

“I love you too, baby. Bye” she said quickly before hanging up the phone.

 

————

 

Clarke smiled brightly at the sight of Lexa and Anya approaching. Lexa was pushing Ethan’s stroller and Ethan was looking on excitedly at the people they were passing. They came to a stop at the end of their table. 

 

Clarke got up to greet them, crouching down in front of the stroller. “Hi baby” Clarke cooed as she unbuckled him and lifted him up from the stroller. “Hey” she breathed as she greeted her girlfriend, pressing a quick kiss to her lips. 

 

“Hi” Lexa murmured and Clarke guided them to their table. 

 

“So, you’re pregnant” Raven said as they all sat down, and Clarke turned to slap her friend on the shoulder. “Raven!” She hissed and gestured towards Anya. 

 

“Oh it’s fine, I already knew” Anya said simply and Lexa turned to her with an open mouth and a death glare. Clarke’s head snapped towards her girlfriend and Lexa was out of her chair on her knees in front of Clarke immediately. 

 

“Lexa!” Clarke yelled. She had felt so bad for telling Raven, but at this revelation, she had no idea how to feel. 

 

“I know. I know. I’m sorry... but I didn’t tell her! She figured it out on her own because she knows me and I suck at keeping secrets. Please forgive me” Lexa pleaded with her girlfriend and Clarke smiled softly at her. 

 

“Babe.. I’m not mad at you.” Clarke said softly and Lexa looked up at her. Her green eyes revealing all her inner emotions. 

 

“I’m sorry” Lexa murmured and pecked her lips softly. 

 

“mama” Ethan babbled and reached out for his mama, sensing that she was upset. Lexa smiled softly at him and gently stroked his cheek, while Raven and Anya’s heads snapped towards the sound.

 

“He can talk!?” Raven asked with wide eyes and Lexa smirked. 

 

“Of course he can talk, he is a Woods” Lexa said cockily before Clarke gently elbowed her. “A Griffin-Woods, I mean” she uttered as she gently rubbed her ribs. 

 

“But he’s like what? Eight months?” Anya asked confused. 

 

“Yes, but he is very intelligent for his age.” Lexa said proudly, playing with her son’s feet. “And he only knows how to say mama. Nothing more than that” Lexa said as she gently took him from Clarke’s lap, placing him on her own. 

 

“Oh! And he knows how to stand! That’s also something he recently learned” Clarke said proudly before sipping her coffee. After Ethan started eating more solid foods she was finally able to enjoy the taste of caffeinated coffee again. It had been a nightmare to quit. But she would rather have coffee withdrawals than a screaming baby who can’t sleep. 

 

“What’s next... he learns how to sing?” Anya teased and Lexa smirked at her. “No way!” Anya said a little too loud. Drawing the attention from tables nearby. 

 

“Well obviously not with words, but he can hum. Almost in tune sometimes” Lexa smiled proudly. She wondered how Ethan would be once he actually learned to talk more properly. They would have to see about getting him flashcards soon. 

 

“He really is a wonder child isn’t he?” Raven asked, more to herself than the others. 

 

“Oh there is no doubt about that” Clarke said softly while leaning towards her son, adjusting his little beanie. 

 

“So how are you gonna tell everybody you’re pregnant again? And how will Abby take it?” Anya asked curiously and leaned her chin in her palms. 

 

“I don’t know. We talked about getting Ethan a onesie with a printing saying something like ‘world’s best brother’ and gather everyone at our house. But we decided to wait until we get the first sonogram so you can have something to look at” Clarke explained and they all nodded. “I don’t know how mom will take it. But she’s getting a new grandchild out of it so she can’t stay mad for long if that’s the case.” She added. 

 

They kept talking about nothing and everything while eating their ice cream. Lexa even let Ethan have some of her plain vanilla ice, receiving a stern look from Clarke. 

 

————

 

“And that right there is your baby” Callie said softly as she pointed to the little dot on the screen. 

 

“Oh it’s so tiny” Lexa smiled before capturing Clarke’s lips in a sweet kiss. Clarke was now 7 weeks pregnant and they were having the first ultra sound of their new baby. Not that it could be considered a baby at this point. 

 

“I know” Clarke whispered as a few tears escaped her eyes. It was crazy to think how different this pregnancy was from the last one already. With Ethan’s first ultrasound, they had just barely survived and Clarke was forever thankful for her girlfriend for saving them both that night. 

 

”it’s about the size of a blueberry at this point, but if you come back in a couple of weeks it will be approximately the size of a cherry.” She explained to them. “Do you want me to print it out?” She asked softly and Clarke nodded her head, never taking her eyes off the screen. 

 

“What do you think it’s gonna be?” Clarke murmured softly as she studied the small spot on the screen. 

 

“I don’t know” Lexa whispered and looked closely at the screen. “I hope it is a girl, that way we can have a mini Clarke running around” she murmured and placed a kiss to her temple. 

 

“Or a mini Lexa” Clarke smiled and laced their fingers together. 

 

“All ready” Callie smiled at them and gave Lexa the sonogram print. Then she wiped the gel off of Clarke’s stomach so the blonde could pull her sweater down again. 

 

“It’s amazing” Lexa smiled gently and Clarke stood up and hugged her girlfriend. “I love you” she murmured before kissing her. 

 

“I love you more” Lexa breathed against her lips as they parted. Clarke just shook her head in amusement. 

 

————

 

Clarke was folding the last of Ethan’s clothes when she heard the sound of something being dropped downstairs in the kitchen. 

 

“Clarke!” Lexa shouted and Clarke leapt out of their bed, sprinting down the stairs. “Clarke! Oh my god! Get down here now!” Lexa yelled and Clarke almost crashed into the door frame as she entered the kitchen. 

 

“What!? What’s wrong?” She asked worriedly as she looked at her girlfriend. Everything seemed totally fine, nothing out of the ordinary, except for the casserole that was now on the floor. 

 

“Look” Lexa said excitedly and pointed to somewhere to the side of the blonde. Clarke turned her head to look and let out a loud gasp at the sight. 

 

“Oh my god!” She yelled and immediately crouched down. A few feet away from her were their eight and a half month old son were taking his very first steps. 

 

“Oh my god” Clarke breathed as she watched her baby boy in awe. “You’re walking” She smiled brightly at him. Opening her arms for him to walk into her. “Baby, you’re walking” she chuckled happily and she could feel the happy tears in her eyes. 

 

Ethan walked on shaky and wobbly legs towards his mommy. Clarke smiled at him and waited patiently as he made his way over to her. Lexa was watching the whole thing with a fond expression on her face. 

 

“That’s it baby, come here” Clarke said softly and Ethan finally reached her, stumbling into her arms. Clarke lifted him up and placed kisses all over his face and head. “You’re such a good boy” she murmured softly and he buried his face in the crook of his mommy’s neck. 

 

“Oh, are you tired baby?” She asked, and the way Ethan snuggled close to her was all the answers she needed. She stood up and walked towards Lexa. “Did you get it on tape?” She asked her gently and Lexa nodded her head, smiling as she turned her phone to look at Ethan’s first steps all over again. 

 

“He is growing up so fast” she whispered and gently stroked her baby’s back. Lexa nodded in agreement, slightly ruffling his hair before turning to clean up the mess she had made on the floor. 

 

“Want me to help you clean?” Clarke asked her gently but Lexa just smiled and shook her head no. 

 

“No, you should probably put him to bed. It’s getting late” Lexa murmured and Clarke placed a soft kiss to her lips before letting EJ say goodnight to his mama. 

 

Clarke walked upstairs with him and carefully changed him into his pajamas. He was getting less fussy about it every day that passed. She then took his tiny baby toothbrush and some baby toothpaste and brushed the four teeth that had appeared in his mouth. He was starting to get some new too, but his gums were a bit sore over those places.

 

She proceeded to comb his hair that had begun to turn a bit darker now. She lifted him off the changing table and placed a soft kiss to his cheek as she carried him into the baby nursery. 

 

Lexa came upstairs and joined her as she red a goodnight story for their baby, and Ethan managed to fall asleep quickly and without a problem. 

 

Lexa leaned down to place a kiss on his forehead, gingerly brushing her hand over his head. 

 

“Well... now that he can walk I have a few ideas about the big pregnancy revelation” Lexa smirked as she turned around to face Clarke. 

 

“Yeah?” Clarke asked with a knowing smirk and Lexa nodded her head. 

 

“Definitely”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, that just happened. Let me know what you guys/gals/people think :3 
> 
>  
> 
> Also, I have no idea when the next chapter will be up because I am officially drowning in homework, but I will try to post it within a week or so. 
> 
> Thank you if you’re still sticking with me and reading this crap <3


	15. The big reveal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :3

It was nearing the end of May and Clarke and Lexa had yet to tell the rest of their friends and family about the new pregnancy. Clarke was now eleven weeks pregnant, and her baby bump had started to show more. Which meant they were running out of time before people would start ask questions. 

 

Clarke had sent everyone a text, inviting them over for a barbecue later. Her and Lexa had been prepping and plotting all day. Preparing the foods while figuring how to tell everyone else about the pregnancy. They had it all figured out and Ethan was down for his midday nap when the first people rang the door bell. 

 

“I got it” Clarke said and shot Lexa a smile before walking to the door. 

 

She immediately greeted by her grinning mother and Marcus, who carried a blueberry pie with him. 

 

“Hi mom, hi Marcus” Clarke greeted her mother before she was pulled in for a hug. 

 

“Honey! It’s nice to see you. It feels like I haven’t seen you in forever” Abby said as she studied her daughter. Clarke was praying in that moment that her mother wouldn’t notice her slight baby bump. 

 

“Here, let me take that!” Clarke said quickly and took the pie from Marcus before speed walking to the kitchen. Abby and Kane followed after her into the house. 

 

“And there is Lexa” Abby smiled softly as she approached her. Lexa gave her a brief hug and a hello before going back to making the salad. Kane sat down at the kitchen table to read the newspaper while Abby started helping with the rest of the food. 

 

“Where is Ethan?” She asked once she noticed that her grand son was nowhere in sight. 

 

“He’s having an extended nap.. we figured it would be for the best so he can be better company throughout the day” Lexa smiled softly at her, cleaning off her hands before taking the salad bowl and placing it in the fridge. 

 

The doorbell rang again and Clarke leapt out of her seat, sprinting to the door to open it. This time she was greeted by Anastasia and Gustus. She smiled brightly at them before they enveloped her in a hug. 

 

“Hi!” She grinned at them before letting them into the house. 

 

“Where is my favorite grand son?” Anastasia asked with a big smile as Gustus hung up her coat for her. 

 

“He is currently asleep, but we will wake him up in about twenty minutes or so” Clarke said softly and gestured for them to walk into the house. Lexa’s mother pouted slightly and Gustus chuckled as he patted her back gently. 

They walked into the kitchen and greeted the rest and afterwards Gustus immediately walked out in the backyard to watch over the grill, joined by Marcus and the two elder women who started putting plates on the table, with some protest from Clarke and Lexa. 

 

“Well this is going great so far” Lexa whispered softly to her girlfriend and pressed a chaste kiss to her lips before walking into the kitchen again. 

 

The doorbell rang for the third time and Clarke walked to greet whoever it was. She opened the door and was greeted by Raven, Anya, Octavia and Lincoln this time. She smiled brightly at them and let them inside. 

 

“Hey Griff, Where should I put this?” Raven asked as she walked inside with a bottle of wine in her hand, the others walking inside to greet the rest of the guests. 

 

“Just put it on the counter, Rae” Clarke said before walking back to the kitchen to help Lexa. 

 

“Hey you, do you need help with anything?” Clarke asked softly as she hugged her girlfriend from behind. 

 

“Hey” Lexa breathed and leaned into her touch. “I’m good, but thank you. Maybe we should start waking Ethan up, get him dressed?” Lexa whispered softly before turning around to face Clarke. The blonde nodded her head and pressed their foreheads together. 

 

“I’m nervous” Clarke admitted softly as Lexa pulled her in for a hug. 

 

“It’s okay Clarke. It will be fine. Besides, if everything gets out of control we can just go for a drive until they all have calmed down.” Lexa said reassuringly before placing a kiss to her lips. 

 

The door rang again and they parted with a sigh. “I got it” Lexa said softly and Clarke nodded before she walked up to get Ethan ready for the big reveal. 

 

Clarke walked the steps two at a time and walked into Ethan’s room. To her surprise her son was already awake. She smiled as she walked up to him, carefully lifting him up from the crib. 

 

“Hi baby boy” She said softly and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “Let’s get you ready, yeah?” She whispered before making her way across the hall to the bathroom. Ethan was now nine and a half months old. 

 

She quickly changed his diaper before dressing him in the new shorts Lexa had gotten him. He was finally able to wear them because of the warm weather. It had been raining and cold for the past few weeks which had driven Clarke a bit insane. 

 

She carefully pulled the customized navy blue T-shit with the printing “Best big brother” over his head with a bit fussing from the boy. 

 

“It’s okay baby” Clarke soothed him when a frown and a pout formed on his cute little face. Now she just had to keep the shirt concealed until the big reveal. Clarke walked over to her and Lexa’s bedroom, peeking out the window to see how Lexa was doing downstairs. 

 

The guests had started to gather around the table and the new comers, Bellamy, Murphy, Harper, Jasper and Monty, was also there. She felt a little bad that Lexa had to greet Bellamy at the door, knowing that her girlfriend disliked the man. Or well, the way he was looking at Clarke. 

 

Clarke waited excitedly for Lexa to give her the all clear signal before making her way downstairs. “You ready to walk to mama, baby boy?” Clarke asked softly as she looked out the window. 

 

“Mama” Ethan said as he looked out the window, seeing his mama down in the backyard. 

 

—————

 

“Where is Clarke?” Harper asked once they all were sitting around the table and a few other heads turned to look at Lexa, silently asking the same question. 

 

“She’s getting Ethan ready, she’ll be down here any minute” Lexa said as she subtly gave Clarke the sign. She smirked once she heard the familiar footsteps walking down the stairs. 

 

Inside, Clarke was giving Ethan the laminated and baby proofed sonogram of the new baby, in case he were to rip it or something like that. She gently placed him down a few feet away from the door, hoping he would be able to make the little walk once Lexa called his name. 

 

Clarke made her way out and smiled at everyone as if nothing was wrong. Only Anya and Raven knew about their little secret and the fact that Ethan could walk more properly now. 

 

“Hi everyone” Clarke smiled as she walked over to Lexa, kissing her cheeks softly.

 

“Where is EJ?” Abby asked with furrowed brows when her daughter appeared without the baby. Clarke plastered on a fake frown, trying to hide her excitement. 

 

“He wanted to give his grandparents a little present” she started off as she looked inside the door to see that Ethan had stood up. Thankfully he was still holding the sonogram. The grandparents looked on confused since the baby was nowhere in sight. 

 

“Ethan?” Lexa asked and everyone was frowning except for Raven and Anya who had taken out their phones with shit eating grins on their faces. “Baby boy” Lexa called once again, and they all heard the sound of small footsteps from the inside.

 

“No.. way..” the people around the table gasped once he appeared in the doorway, looking at his mama for help down the steps. He frowned when Lexa made no move to walk over and help. Lexa smirked when her son sat down and got into a crawling position.

 

Ethan crawled down one step at a time, still holding on to the picture. Clarke was so proud of their son in that moment. She had no words. 

 

“Hi baby” Lexa smiled widely as he walked over to her. She picked him up at laughed at the dumbfounded looks on the people around the table. 

 

They turned around and Ethan shied away from everyone’s gaze. 

 

“What do you got there baby boy?” Lexa asked, playing confused. “Is that a present for your grandparents huh?” She asked rhetorically. They had purposefully placed Abby and Marcus next to Anastasia and Gustus. 

 

Lexa kissed his cheek softly before setting him down again. He held onto her finger with one hand as they walked over to the adults.

 

“What do you have there buddy?” Gustus asked once Ethan walked close enough. Ethan let go of his mama’s finger letting his grandpa pick him up. No one had noticed the T-shirt yet and Clarke was getting more nervous by the minute. 

 

“Who gave you that buddy? Is that a picture of you?” He asked confused when he realized the picture was a sonogram. 

 

“Mama” Ethan said before smiling widely, making everyone at the table choke on their spit and look at him with wide eyes. “He can talk too!?” Murphy asked loudly, trying to catch his breath. 

 

“Oh my god! His shirt!” Anastasia said excitedly and Abby whipped her head around to have a better look at her grandsons shirt. 

 

“Oh.. my..” Abby breathed out and looked over at her daughter. Clarke met her mothers eyes and fiddled nervously with her fingers. Abby got out of her chair and walked over to her daughter. Lexa also made her way over to Clarke, ready to support Clarke at any given moment. 

 

“Surprise” Clarke said softly when Abby stopped in front of her. 

 

“You’re pregnant?” Abby asked her daughter and Clarke nodded her head. She was ready to apologize for not saying anything sooner but was cut off when her mother pulled her in for a tight hug. 

 

“Oh honey” Abby said softly and Clarke smiled in her mother’s embrace. 

 

Gustus studied the sonogram closer when he finally caught up to it all. “Oh my holy banana! You’re pregnant again!” He said excitedly and everyone laughed at him. Gustus took the picture out of Ethan’s hand and gave to his wife who got out of her chair with tears brimming in her eyes. 

 

“You’re having another baby?” She asked Lexa gently and Lexa nodded her head with the biggest smile on her face. 

 

“Are you sure about this, Clarke?” Abby asked softly as she studied her daughter. She had noticed the swelling on her stomach when they arrived but she figured her daughter had gained a few pounds during her first months of motherhood.

 

“Yeah. I’m sure. We both are... we started talking about back in late January and then we got pregnant in the beginning of March. So we will have either a new baby boy or girl in the beginning of December” Clarke said softly and Abby hugged her again. 

 

“I can’t believe you’re expecting a second child already.” Abby said, but when she looked at her daughter and her little family she understood why. It was great for children to have siblings to grow up with, and she herself had slightly regretted not having more than one, but Clarke was more than she could have ever hoped for.

 

“I’m sorry we didn’t say anything sooner. We didn’t know how you guys would take it.” Clarke explained and Abby just shook her head with a smile. 

 

“Here Abby, have a look” Anastasia said as she handed over the sonogram to the other woman. She gently took the picture and smiled softly at the tiny creature. She couldn’t believe she would have another grand child in only seven months. 

 

She suddenly felt something tugging at her leg and her smile broke into a grin at her favorite little man.

 

“Gama” Ethan babbled and reached up for his grandma, Abby picked him up happily. “Hi EJ”she cooed and placed a kiss on his forehead. They all went to sit around the table again and Abby placed Ethan in his high chair, before sitting down in her own seat. 

 

—————

 

Clarke was helping Lexa clean the table while their friends and family chatted and played with Ethan. Their son was currently playing in the little blue sandbox Lexa had gotten him with Octavia, Lincoln, Anya and Raven. 

 

“Hey, look over there” Lexa whispered and pointed to Monty and Harper who were chilling and talking by the pool. It was cute to see how Monty and Harper kept getting closer each time they were spotted together. 

 

“They are so adorable” Clarke breathed as she leaned her head on Lexa’s shoulder. “You’re so adorable” Lexa whispered softly and placed a kiss on her temple. Clarke smiled up at her and kissed her gingerly, with no idea that her mother was snapping a picture of them. 

 

They kept cleaning up the table, putting on new plates and utensils for dessert. They were about to call for everyone to gather around the table when they heard Anya’s yell. 

 

“Ow Raven! What the fuck!” The blonde yelled and Raven held her hand up in surrender. Raven cautiously walked over to her girlfriend. She had accidentally kicked some sand in her eyes when she fell over trying to get up after sitting for too long.

 

“Babe, I’m so sorry. It was an accident!” She said as she cupped her face. “Let me see” she said softly and studied Anya eye. It was turning red. “Okay, we’ll have to wash your eye out with some water or something” Raven said as she guided Anya towards the house.

 

Clarke walked over to Ethan to pick him up and tell Octavia and Lincoln it was time for dessert. “Hi baby boy” Clarke murmured softly. Ethan was still a bit shocked after Anya’s scream. Clarke pressed soft kisses to his head and cuddled him close. 

 

She walked over to the table and placed him in the high chair. The rest gathered around the table and Lexa took her seat next to Clarke. The conversation flowed gently once Anya and Raven came back to the table. 

 

“Should we let him taste the blueberry pie?” Lexa asked over a bite of strawberry. Clarke just shrugged and cut of a tiny piece for their baby. Normally she was against giving him sweet things so early, but it was blueberries. 

 

She put the piece on his wooden plate, letting him take it in his hand. They watched as he brought the piece to his mouth before dropping it back on his plate. 

 

“Uh oh” Ethan said and his lower lip started to trembled. “It’s okay baby.” Clarke hurriedly said and picked the piece up from his plate again. Letting him take it from her hand.

 

Lexa smiled fondly at their son as he took his first bite of the pie, before dropping it on the ground again. 

 

“Uck” he babbled and Clarke’s eyes widened. 

 

“Oh my god.. did he just?” She looked at Lexa who was shooting daggers at her cousin. 

 

“Ethan baby. We don’t use words like that.” Lexa said softly as she grabbed a napkin, trying to clean his messy hands.

 

“I’m sorry” Anya mouthed to them both and Clarke just shook her head, letting her know it was fine. 

 

They sat and ate in silence after that. Lexa tried feeding Ethan with some of the berries, and made funny faces at him making him smile widely and chuckle. 

 

—————

 

“Bye mom” Clarke said as she finally closed the door after the last guest were leaving. They had bathed and put Ethan down for bedtime an hour prior and he fell asleep right away, tired from the days activities. 

 

Lexa came walking down the stairs smiling tiredly as she approached her girlfriend. 

 

“You okay babe?” Clarke asked softly and Lexa nodded her head before enveloping Clarke in a hug, nuzzling her head in the crook of the blondes neck. 

 

“I can’t believe we’re going to have another baby” Lexa breathed out happily as she gently placed her hand over the little swell on Clarke’s belly. 

 

“I can’t believe our son said his first swear word at the age of nine months” Clarke chuckled softly as she played with Lexa’s hair. Lexa groaned at the thought of Anya’s bad influence. She knew her cousin didn’t mean it though. 

 

“Yeah, same ... now he is gonna turn out like his mommy.. swearing and cussing at everything” Lexa teased and Clarke hit her arm playfully. 

 

“I don’t swear that much” Clarke murmured before capturing her lips in a searing kiss. Lexa leaned into her and smiled against her lips. 

 

“You’re right.. you don’t swear that much” Lexa said softly before pecking her lips one last time. Clarke let out a yawn as they parted and Lexa raised her eyebrows.

 

“Sorry” Clarke mumbled and rubbed her eyes gently. 

 

“Are you tired my love?” Lexa asked and Clarke only nodded before burrowing her face in the crook of Lexa’s neck. Lexa just smiled before she lifted the blonde up, carrying her bridal style up the stairs, taking two steps at a time. 

 

“Lexa” Clarke gasped once the brunette put her down at the end of their bed. 

 

“Sleep, love. I’ll clean up the rest and join you in a bit.” Lexa murmured as she gently brushed some stray hairs behind Clarke’s ear. 

 

“M’kay” Clarke said tiredly before disappearing into the bathroom. Lexa gazed after her. She had no idea how she had gotten so lucky. She smiled to herself before making her way downstairs again to clean up the last bit. 

 

————

 

Clarke stirred from her sleep when she finally felt Lexa laying down next to her. Lexa gently stroked her cheek before placing a soft kiss to her forehead.

 

“Good night, love” Clarke heard her whisper and she smiled softly with her eyes closed as she felt Lexa place a kiss to her baby bump too.

 

“Good night, baby” Clarke heard Lexa’s soft murmur against her stomach before the brunette finally cuddled close to her. 

 

“I love it when you do that” Clarke said sleepily and Lexa jumped at the sound of her voice. 

 

“Do what?” Lexa asked confused and Clarke cuddled closer to her.

 

“When you say goodnight to our babies” Clarke breathed and Lexa smiled and shook her head softly, taking in the scent that was Clarke as she leaned down with her head in her shoulder. 

 

“I love you” Clarke’s whisper was the last thing she heard before they both fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think? :/


	16. Little Bean

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve been nervous to post this, hahah. I have no idea what this is, but please don’t Kill me! 
> 
> Okay bye!

Lexa was nervously sitting in the hospital waiting room with Ethan in her arms. She hated being here, and she hated the fact that Clarke had to be at work today. Out of all days. She was not mentally prepared for this. Clarke had been there with her through the sixteen other times, because she couldn’t bear to see their baby boy in pain. 

 

Ethan was standing on her lap, silently playing with her hair as she gently bounced him up and down, making him giggle. Why did they have to do this today?

 

“Miss Woods? Callie is ready for you” a nurse came up to them and said and Lexa gulped as she grabbed Ethan’s bag from the floor and stood up.

 

“It’s okay, baby” Lexa whispered softly in her son’s ear as they neared the room. She placed a kiss to his chubby cheek and she prayed that this would be over as fast as possible. 

 

“Hey Lexa” Callie greeted them as they walked in. Lexa carefully sat down on the check up table with Ethan on her lap. She smiled softly as she studied her son, looking around at the different equipment in the room.

 

“So you’re here for Ethan’s third and last shot of HepB?” Callie asked and Lexa nodded her head. “Okay, please take off his pants” Callie said softly and Lexa was slightly shaking as she undressed her baby boy. 

 

As if sensing what was about to happen, Ethan started fussing and looking pleadingly up at his mama. 

 

“I know baby.. I know. Mama hates this too.” Lexa murmured and gently stroked his cheek. “It will be over soon, okay?” She whispered before laying Ethan down on his back. 

 

“Okay, are you ready Ethan?” Callie asked the baby and Ethan kicked his legs slightly. 

 

“Is it gonna hurt him?” Lexa asked worriedly and Callie gave her an understanding smile, she knew this was just as awful for the parents. 

 

“If it helps, he won’t remember a thing about this later” Callie said softly Before taking a cotton pad and putting some rubbing alcohol on before wiping it against Ethan’s thigh. She took the vaccine in her hand ready to inject it when Lexa quickly stopped her. 

 

“Wait! I..” Lexa started and looked down at her baby. Ethan was pouting up at her and she placed a comforting hand on his stomach while taking a hold of one of his tiny hands with her other. “Okay... Okay. You can continue” Lexa said and drew in a breath. 

 

Callie carefully injected the needle and Ethan’s cries filled the room. “I know baby. I know” Lexa said softly on the verge of tears, trying to comfort him as Callie finished up. She really wished Clarke was there with them. Her heart was breaking at the sight of her son’s tears rolling down his cheeks and the look of betrayal in his eyes.

 

“Okay. All done” Callie said as she threw her gloves into the trash. “Remember to bring him back for the measles vaccination in about two months. And then there are a few others.” Callie informed her as Lexa put on Ethan’s sweatpants, she had brought them with in case the tight sitting jeans he was wearing would hurt him afterwards. She gently picked him up and wiped away his tears and kissed him softly. 

 

“You did so good baby” Lexa murmured and kept trying to comfort her crying baby. “I’m so proud of you EJ” she whispered and stroked his back as he kept crying into her shoulder. She held him and hugged him close until the crying subsided.

 

She then quickly signed some papers before saying goodbye and walking out of the hospital with her son. Never again. She thought to herself. The next time Clarke would be there with them. She could not do this without her girlfriend one more time. In the back of her head she could see Clarke rolling her eyes at her, saying ‘they are necessary to keep him healthy Lex, plus, he won’t even remember a thing about it later’. So fucking easy for her to say. 

 

—————

 

“Hi baby boy” Clarke beamed as Lexa came walking into the gallery with Ethan. The second she saw them she was out of her chair. She reached out for him but Lexa just held him close. The image of their crying baby still etched into her brain. 

 

“How did it go?” Clarke asked with furrowed brows at Lexa’s behavior.

 

“It went well.. I think. He.. never mind” Lexa said and held Ethan close. Clarke could sense that something was up. 

 

“What?” Clarke asked confused when Lexa wouldn’t hand him over. She put a hand on his back instead, rubbing small circles. 

 

“You should have seen his face... the way he was looking at me...” Lexa mumbled quietly as she hugged him closer to her. She knew she was being irrational about all this. 

 

“Lexa... he is perfectly fine now. Look at him” Clarke said softly and gestured towards their smiling son. Lexa looked at him and kissed his forehead. Nodding to herself before finally handing him over to his mommy. 

 

Clarke gladly accepted him and hugged him close. “Lex.. I know you hate to see him in pain. But he needs his shots... especially since he was premature. I promise I will go with you next time, Okay. And... in about a week we have our next ultrasound” Clarke said softly and gently leaned into Lexa’s touch. 

 

“Yeah.. thank you” Lexa murmured before pecking her lips. “So.. when are you finished?” Lexa asked as she walked around the space. Taking in the different paintings on the walls. 

 

“In half an hour” Clarke sighed and looked at the clock. “You don’t have to wait for me Lex, I can just take the bus home” the blonde said as she arranged something’s with Ethan on her arm. 

 

“What? Clarke. It’s just half an hour. Besides... no woman of mine is taking the bus home. I get that it is beneficial for the environment and stuff, but baby. You’re pregnant. I’m not letting you out of my sight” Lexa said as she walked up behind Clarke, enveloping her in a sweet hug. 

 

Lexa sat down on the floor and played with Ethan as she watched Clarke work and do her thing. It was exciting to see the blonde in her element as she smiled and talked to the different people in the gallery. 

 

Or, it was exciting until a boy approached her girlfriend. At the symbol on his uniform Lexa could tell that he was probably working here too and he seemed pretty close with her girlfriend. She watched them closely with narrowed eyes as she held Ethan. Clarke was off in barely five minutes. She could survive that? Right? There was no need to feel jealous. Clarke was pregnant with her baby for crying out loud. 

 

Only, Lexa was feeling jealous. This man boy thing got to see her girlfriend everyday. Or when Clarke had her shifts. But it’s the same thing. Lexa narrowed her eyes when he placed a hand on Clarke’s lower arm giving her what was probably one of his most charming smiles. 

 

That’s it. She was out of her seat and on her feet in an instant. Ethan on her arm as she approached her girlfriend. Clarke was standing with her back towards them so when she finally reached her and cleared her throat the blonde jumped slightly but smiled nonetheless.

 

“Hey baby” Clarke smiled widely and leaned forward to peck Lexa’s lips. Lexa deepened the kiss, slightly nibbling on Clarke’s lower lip before parting. 

 

“Oh! Lexa, you remember Wells, right?” Clarke asked as she looked at her girlfriend. Lexa handed Ethan over to Clarke before placing a protective hand on her lower back.

 

“I can’t say I do, no” Lexa said as she studied the man. 

 

“We went to high school together. We also sort of dated our sophomore year” he said and extended his hand for Lexa to shake. Lexa took it and shook it firmly sizing him down. 

 

“Oh.. well. I’m Lexa, her fiancée” Lexa said as she studied him. She didn’t like the way he was looking at her. 

 

“Oh, yeah, that’s right. I forgot about that. You’re the art teacher right? I thought I recognized you from somewhere.” He said a little arrogantly and Lexa’s blood was starting to boil. 

 

“Right, well. You weren’t in any of my classes so that explains why I don’t recognize you” Lexa explained before turning her head to look at Clarke again. “Ready to head home babe?” Lexa asked softly, sending Clarke a pointed look. 

 

“Yeah, of course. Get ready with Ethan and I’ll meet you in the car?” Clarke asked gently, she could sense that Lexa was jealous, and she secretly loved it, but she also didn’t want to push it too far. Lexa nodded her head before kissing her one last time.

 

—————

 

Unfortunately for Lexa, that was not the last time they would bump into Wells. 

 

“Care to tell me what the hell that was all about?” Clarke said as she sat Ethan down on the floor. They had just arrived home from their third ultrasound. It was the beginning of July and Clarke was almost five months pregnant now. 

 

They had ran into Wells at the hospital and Lexa had accidentally let her jealousy get to her when the man had approached her girl. She hated it. It was obvious that Clarke was in a happy relationship, with a baby nonetheless, with a ring on her finger and another growing baby in her belly, and he still proceeded to flirt with the blonde and get on Lexa’s nerves. 

 

“I’m not gonna have this conversation again Clarke.” Lexa sighed as she kicked off her shoes, stumping into the kitchen. She knew she was acting like a brat, but she didn’t care. She was hurt and annoyed at Clarke for not acknowledging the fact that Wells kept flirting with her. 

 

Clarke picked Ethan up and walked to place him in his playpen in the living room before walking into the kitchen to Lexa. 

 

“Lexa!” Clarke said with annoyance lacing her tone. Lexa turned to look at her girlfriend and crossed her arms over her chest. “Why are you being like this?” The blonde asked and took a step closer to her. 

 

Lexa looked deeply into blue eyes, but shook her head. How did Clarke not see what he was doing? Was she really that oblivious. 

 

“You really don’t see it do you?” Lexa asked before walking around the kitchen island, angrily taking out a casserole and frying pan to start dinner. 

 

“See what? Lexa.. I don’t understand. You nearly punched him for crying out loud! We were only talking!” Clarke yelled angrily at her girlfriend’s behavior. 

 

“He keeps flirting with you! It is so painfully obvious that you are in a relationship, and he still has the nerve to try to make a move on you! You have a son! You have a god damn ring on your finger! And you’re pregnant! Why can’t he just fuck off!” Lexa yelled back. 

 

“He’s my friend, Lexa! There is nothing more to it!” Clarke shouted, closing the sliding door to shield Ethan from their shouting.

 

“Well then he knows that you’re in a relationship! Have you even made that clear to him?!” Lexa said loudly and opened the fridge door. 

 

“Yes! Of course I have told him! But I clearly wouldn’t need to with the way you put your claim on me like you did back there! I might as well tattoo property of Lexa Woods on my fucking forehead” Clarke yelled and Lexa froze. Clarke regretted it immediately. 

 

Lexa clenched and unclenched her jaw before nodding her head in defeat. She knew she couldn’t control who Clarke was hanging out with. But there was something about Wells that made her feel really uncomfortable and her skin crawl. Especially by the way he was looking at her girlfriend. 

 

Clarke’s words really struck a sore spot in her. Did Clarke really think she was putting a claim on her? Was the blonde feeling like she was treating her like her property? That she wasn’t free to do what she wanted?

 

Lexa quickly dried her hands on the apron before taking it off and hanging it back up. How long had Clarke been feeling this way? The thought made her feel sick. 

 

“Excuse me” Lexa whispered as she exited the kitchen, walking upstairs before locking herself in their room. She needed some time to process this. 

 

Clarke stood in the doorway of their kitchen, letting out a sigh before punching the wall in frustration. She didn’t mean to say that. Lexa was perfect and loving and Clarke knew she was being unfair. That was really uncalled for and she knew it. 

 

Clare walked back into the living room and slumped down on the couch, watching Ethan play in the pen. She really felt the need to walk upstairs to apologize to her girlfriend, but she could tell that Lexa needed some time to herself.

 

————

 

“I just... she.. she’s never said anything about it b-before and now I can’t stop th-thinking about it” Lexa said. Her voice trembled as a few tears escaped her eyes. She had been talking to Anya for the past hour and a half. Not daring to walk out of their room. 

 

“Lex... just breathe okay? She was angry, she didn’t mean it like that. I promise you... that girl is so grossly in love with you and she’s been talking to Raven about how horrible she feels for yelling at you like that.” Anya said softly. She could see where Lexa was coming from, being jealous was awful sometimes and it felt ten times worse when your partner couldn’t seem to understand why. 

 

“Please don’t say that. I feel so many mixed things right now. I can’t imagine her sitting downstairs feeling bad.. I can’t... I just want to go down to her, but she was so angry Anya. I haven’t seen her like this since...” Lexa said with a sigh and drew in a shuddering breath. Anya understood. 

 

“Lexie.. just talk to her. Put the both of you out of your misery.” Anya said for the tenth time and Lexa had been contemplating it. She was so close to just walking down to Clarke to see how the blonde was doing. 

 

“I..” Lexa started but stopped when there was a knock on the bedroom door. “I have to go” Lexa said apologetically before she hung up the phone.

 

She took careful and tentative steps towards the door and leaned her head against it. She tried to gather herself and took a few deep breaths. The doorknob rattled but Lexa had locked the door. 

 

“Lex...” She could hear Clarke’s soft voice from outside the door and her lip trembled and a few unshed tears gathered in her eyes. She quickly blinked them away and cleared her throat before unlocking the door. 

 

She took a step back and seconds later Clarke opened it. Their eyes met and Clarke felt tears forming in her eyes at the sight of her girlfriend. Lexa’s eyes were puffy and red rimmed and it was all her fault. 

 

“Lexa, I’m sorry.” Clarke said and stepped closer to her. Lexa nodded her head and sniffled slightly. It was clear that Clarke had been crying too.

 

“I’m sorry too” Lexa said in a whisper. She didn’t trust her voice not to crack if she spoke any louder. “I never meant to make you feel like I put a claim on you, Clarke” The brunette said softly and sat down on the bed. Clarke went over to her immediately and kneeled between her girlfriends legs. 

 

“You didn’t.. Lexa.. I didn’t mean that. I’m so sorry, baby. I was so out of line, please forgive me” Clarke said gently and took a hold of Lexa’s hands, lacing then together with her own. She placed soft kisses on top of Lexa’s hand. 

 

“I do... I forgive you.. I just.. you’ve never mentioned feeling like that before and I...” Lexa started but Clarke shook her head and got up from her position, sitting down next to Lexa on the bed instead. 

 

“I didn’t mean it. I promise. I was just angry, and I didn’t understand why it was such a big deal. But I do now, Okay?” Clarke whispered softly, leaning their foreheads together. Lexa nodded against her and Clarke wrapped her arms around her. 

 

“I didn’t think anything of it because I love you, and only you, okay? It doesn’t matter if he flirts with me because it’s not going to lead anywhere. I have you, and Ethan and little bean and that’s all that matters” Clarke said softly and stroked her back gently. “I love you” Clarke breathes before capturing Lexa’s lips in a soft kiss, their lips barely brushing together.

 

Lexa sighed a breath of relief when they parted and nodded against Clarke’s head, barely brushing their noses together. “I love you more” Lexa whispered and she gently cupped Clarke’s face. 

 

“Not possible” Clarke murmured softly before pecking her lips one more time. “Come on, lets go downstairs again” Clarke suggested and reached her hand out for Lexa to take. Lexa accepted it and let Clarke lead her downstairs again. 

 

She knew that no matter what, she would always love Clarke, and she knew that Clarke would always love her and nothing could ever come between their love. No matter how many times they argued or how little the obstacles was, they would always manage to work it out together. 

 

————

 

“Aaah!”

 

Lexa was just getting out of the shower when she heard the piercing scream ring out in their house. In just her towel she sprinted down the stairs as fast as she could and her eyes widened in panic at the sight of Clarke whimpering in pain on the living room floor. Ethan was crying next to his mommy and it was clear that Clarke had dropped him when she had fallen down in pain. 

 

“Clarke!” Lexa said worriedly as she crouched down next to her girlfriend. “Baby, what’s wrong? Tell me what’s wrong!” Lexa said in a panic as she cradled Clarke into her lap. She lifted Ethan up in one arm and tried to comfort him as best as she could while searching Clarke for injuries. 

 

“It hurts! It hurts so much baby” Clarke whimpered as the tears escaped her eyes.

 

“Where does it hurt!? Clarke!” Lexa pleaded as she studied her girlfriend closer. “Please! Baby, where does it hurt!”

 

“M-my abdomen.. ow..” Clarke’s breathing was labored and Lexa quickly dialed 911 fearing the worst. 

 

“It’s gonna be okay Baby. Just breathe” Lexa said as she held on to Clarke for dear life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *hides*


	17. Baby Girl

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that took two weeks. Hehe. I’m sorry I kind of disappeared. I struggled to figure out where I wanted to go with this story, but I think I chose right. 
> 
> I’m sorry if this chapter sucks, I haven’t proof read it so there might be some mistakes.
> 
>  
> 
> Hope you like it :)

Lexa was silently crying as she held onto Ethan while Dr. Montgomery checked him for any injuries. Clarke had been rushed into the OR the second the ambulance arrived at the hospital and Lexa was yet again a nervous wreck. Why was the universe doing this to them? What had they ever done to deserve this?

 

 

She placed soft kisses to the top of Ethan’s head, trying to keep herself grounded and away from the thoughts running wild in her mind. She couldn’t lose Clarke. Not now, not ever. No. Clarke and little bean was going to be just fine and this was not going to be anything serious, just a misunderstanding.

 

 

“He is perfectly fine, Lexa, it seems that the rug softened the fall.” the doctor said and brought her out of her thoughts again. She looked up at her and nodded her head before pulling Ethan closer to her. She couldn’t bring herself to speak. She didn’t trust her voice.

 

 

“We can check you in for a hospital room while you wait for your fiancée to get out of surgery. She will have to stay here for a while anyway so there shouldn’t be a problem” Dr Montgomery said softly and Lexa nodded her head yet again.

 

 

“Th... that would be great.. thank you” she said quietly before she stood up with her son. The doctor walked them out of the check up room and down the hall towards the counter. She quickly signed some papers before they were guided to a room a few floors further up.

 

 

Once they were left alone in the room, Lexa broke down and let her tears fall freely. It was almost two in the morning now and everything was happening too fast for Lexa to fully understand everything. She hadn’t even packed a diaper bag for Ethan, but then again, they were at a hospital.

 

 

Lexa carefully sat down on the bed with her son in her arms. Murmuring songs as she gingerly rocked him to sleep. She sat there for a long time, just looking at him and oh how much he looked like Clarke. He had the blondes nose and lips and most of her features. She leaned down and pressed a kiss to his forehead before laying him down in the crib next to the bed.

 

 

Lexa silently made her way over to the chair closest to the crib. She had barely sat down before the door to the room suddenly burst open and a frantic Abby entered.

 

 

“Oh Lexa” the older woman said as she approached her. Before Lexa knew what was happening she was enveloped in a tight hug.

 

 

“I just don’t understand” Lexa mumbled sadly as she hugged Abby back.

 

 

“I spoke to the surgeon who’s operating on her right now. The pain was caused by a complication from the last surgery she had. Her uterus wasn’t expanding in time with the baby and it caused it to rip when she picked Ethan up. They are doing everything they can to save them both” Abby explained and Lexa let out another quiet sob.

 

 

“W.. what happens if they.. if they can’t?” Lexa asked. She didn’t want to think about it but she had to know.

 

 

“Then they will focus on saving Clarke” Abby said simply and Lexa nodded her head before pulling away from the hug. She gently wiped her tears with the sleeve of her hoodie. They sat in silence for a few moments.

 

 

Lexa couldn’t help but think how much the universe hated her. That’s the only logical explanation she had for all of this. She has almost lost Clarke three times already, counting this would be the fourth. This was the universe punishing her for whatever stupid reasons it had, and Lexa was angry and sad and frustrated.

 

 

She could only hope that Clarke would survive this. That little bean would survive this. Best case scenario was to have them both here, but she knew that it was very unlikely. She looked over to see Ethan’s sleeping form and drew in a shuddering breath.

 

 

“She can’t die” Lexa whispered and Abby placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. Lexa could only imagine how this must be for the older woman, who had already lost her first husband to a horrible accident, and now maybe her daughter too.

 

 

“I’m so sorry Abby” Lexa choked out and looked her in the eye. She could see unshed tears there and she admired the strength she had. 

 

 

“Lexa, this is not your fault, or Clarke’s for that matter. Someone made a mistake during her last surgery. There was no way you could have known” Abby said softly and gently stroked her cheek. “Do not blame yourself for this, Okay?” The older woman said and Lexa let a few tears fall before she nodded her head.

 

 

“She has to be okay” Lexa breathed out and sank back down in the chair. She was so tired, but she refused to fall asleep. She had to be there for whatever news there was.

 

 

“Let’s hope for the best, Okay?” Abby said softly and Lexa agreed. The silence that overcame them was heavy and Lexa couldn’t bring herself to think about what would happen if Clarke wasn’t going to be okay.

 

 

The silence was interrupted by Abby’s pager beeping like crazy and the older woman looked down at it with furrowed brows before she let out a gasp.

 

 

 

“Abby what’s wrong?” Lexa asked once she saw the worried expression on her face. “It’s from Clarke’s OR... I have to go” she said quickly before standing up and speed walking out of the room before Lexa had a chance to say anything.

 

 

 

—————

 

 

 

Clarke was walking through the halls of Arkadia high on her way to her first art class. Everything was so out of place and she could have sworn that those lockers used to be further down the hall. She didn’t understand what was happening, everything seemed so different. She kept walking towards her classroom and just as she was about to open the door there was a blinding light. It burned in her eyes and she closed them as hard as she could.

 

When she opened them again, she was suddenly in her backyard, or well, her mothers backyard now that she was living with Lexa. Wait what?

 

 

“Clarke?” Clarke heard the familiar voice. She hadn’t heard that deep warm voice in what seemed like forever, but she would recognize it anywhere. She slowly turned around to find Jake Griffin in all his glory smiling at her from the patio.

 

 

“D-dad?” Clarke asked with wide eyes as she watched her father get up from where he was sitting.

 

 

“Hey kiddo” he smiled at her and enveloped her in a hug. “I thought you’d be older by the time you’d join me here” he said with furrowed brows and Clarke pulled back from the hug with a frown. “In fact.. I thought your mother would be here before you” he said with a sad smile.

 

 

“W-What are you talking about?” She asked confused, placing a hand on her stomach only to flinch. She looked down in horror. Her baby bump was gone? What was happening?

 

 

“I don’t know how to break this to you honey, but you have a very important decision to make” he said softly and Clarke’s confusion continued to grow. What the fuck was happening? And where the hell was Lexa? And Ethan? And what happened to little bean?

 

 

Clarke’s head was spinning as she looked around herself. How did she end up here? Why couldn’t she remember what happened? She was ready to put Ethan down for bedtime but something obviously happened?

 

 

“Dad I don’t understand?” Clarke said.

 

 

“There was an accident, baby girl. You’re at the hospital.” He explained and Clarke furrowed her brows. She would surely remember if she had gotten into an accident? Wouldn’t she?

 

 

 

“Where is Lexa?” Clarke asked as she looked around.

 

 

 

“I’m right here babe” Clarke heard her voice and turned around abruptly. Lexa was casually floating in the pool with Ethan beside her.

 

 

“Lexa?” She asked shocked.

 

 

“She looks to be confused, Jake” Lexa said over the rim of her sun glasses and Jake chuckled.

 

 

“Can someone please tell me what the hell is going on?!” Clarke asked angrily and looked between her father and girlfriend.

 

 

“I already told you sweetie. You have a decision to make” Jake smiled sweetly at her and Clarke was slowly starting to freak the fuck out.

 

 

————

 

 

 

“Her BP is dropping!” The nurse said loudly as she watched the heartbeat drop.

 

 

“No no no, honey, come on. Just stay with us” Abby said with determination as she continued to work. Normally family members weren’t allowed to operate on family members, but since Abby was an expert in this field of surgery they had made an exception.

 

 

“We’ll have to do an emergency c section... it’s the only way she will survive.” Abby said defeatedly. She had tried to fix the rift, but it was just too large. The damage was done and the baby had to be removed in order for her to close it. The only way to save them both was to take the baby out and operate on them separately.

 

 

“Dammit” Abby muttered behind her mask and readied herself. “Okay.. scalpel” She ordered and one of the interns handed it over.

 

 

“Clamp...” she muttered behind the mask again.

 

 

“Dr. Griffin she’s crashing”

 

 

“Like hell she is..”Abby said as she kept on working.

 

 

 

—————

 

 

 

“This doesn’t make any sense! How are you here? And wha- ho- why?” Clarke asked in confusion as she paced back and forth. This was obviously a dream? Why wasn’t she waking up? Her father didn’t know Lexa! He died three years before she even met her!

 

 

“I know, Clarke.. this is all so messed up. You aren’t supposed to be here. So why don’t you follow your girlfriend and go?” Jake said softly and placed a hand on her shoulder. Clarke leaned into the touch.

 

 

“What if I wanna stay here with you?” Clarke asked with tears in her eyes. She had missed her father so much, she couldn’t leave him again. Could she?

 

 

“Then that’s your decision” He said softly. Clarke turned around to look at Lexa and Ethan again. The brunette was holding him and smiling softly at her. “But could you really say goodbye to them?” He asked and Clarke whipped around to look at him.

 

 

“What?”

 

 

“Honey, if you stay you have to let them go. You can’t have both” he explained gently and Clarke’s head was spinning again.

 

 

“But I can’t leave her... I.. I promised her..” she stuttered out and looked back over her shoulder only to find that Lexa wasn’t there anymore.“Where did they go?”

 

 

“Your time is almost up, Clarke.” Jake said with that same sad smile on his face.

 

 

“I.. I can’t leave her.. I can’t.. I love her” Clarke said, her lips were trembling and her tears were falling freely now.

 

 

“Then go. Go follow her. It’s not too late, kiddo” he said softly and pulled her in for a hug. Clarke hugged him back for dear life.

 

 

“I miss you so much” Clarke cried into his shoulder and he gently stroked her back.

 

 

“I know you do..but I’m here. I’m always here with you, Okay?” He said before kissing the top of her head.

 

 

“Dad, I can’t stay”

 

 

“I know”

 

 

“I have to go back.”

 

 

“It’s okay, sweetie. You made a good decision. I’m so proud of you” he whispered gently. “Say hi to your mother from me, Okay? She did the right thing to move on.”

 

 

“I love you” Clarke said as she hugged him tight.

 

 

“I know baby. I love you too... now go” He said softly and hugged her tightly again.

 

 

 

 

—————

 

 

 

 

Abby stared defeatedly at the flat line on the monitor. “Shock her again” she said with all the authority she could muster. This was not happening. “I said again!” She yelled out in the OR when no one responded. This was definitely not happening. They had been fine just yesterday. Everything had been good and going great and this is what they get!

 

 

“I SAID SHOCK HER AGAIN!” Abby shouted at the top of her lungs and her voice cracked. Another surgeon finally caved and gave the tiny body another shock. She continued to stare at the monitor. It had been flat for almost a minute now.

 

 

“Come on, baby.” She whispered under her breath and took a hold of her tiny hand. She stared at the monitor, begging whatever higher powers there was for the line to move again. All hope seemed to be gone. But then, a few seconds later the line moved at the heartbeat picked up again.

 

 

Abby stared on in shock and awe and utter disbelief. 15 bpm... 23bpm... 31 bpm.... it kept rising and getting stronger.

 

 

“We have a pulse... we have a pulse!”

 

 

 

—————

 

 

 

Lexa was pacing back and forth with Ethan on her arm. It had been three hours since Abby had walked out of the room. Three hours of not knowing anything. It was a little past five in the morning now and she hadn’t slept a wink.

 

 

She could only hope that Clarke would be okay. That their baby would be okay. EJ had been crying non stop for the past half hour and she didn’t understand what was wrong. She had fed him. Checked his diaper. Tried to rock him to sleep. Distract him with some toys. Even walked down the hallway outside a few times. But nothing worked.

 

 

“Shh, baby. It’s okay... it’s okay. Please don’t cry.” She cooed and rubbed his back gently. “Mama is here. It’s okay EJ” she desperately hoped Abby or anyone would come with some news about Clarke’s and the baby’s condition. She hated being in the dark and she hated that she couldn’t be with her girlfriend.

 

 

Lexa sat down on the edge of the bed, Ethan in her arms. She would wait until he cried himself to sleep, as much as she hated it.

 

 

“Everything is going to be okay baby” Lexa whispered and kissed her son’s cheek. She didn’t know how long she had been staring at the wall in front of her when there was a knock on the door.

 

Ethan had finally calmed down, but he was still awake in her arms. She stood up and walked towards the door. She opened it and stood face to face with Anya and Raven.

 

 

“Hey Lexa” Raven said as she stepped inside, giving her a hug in the process. “Hey cus” Anya said as she joined Raven inside.

 

 

“Have you heard anything yet?” Raven asked softly and Lexa could only shake her head. She didn’t trust herself to speak.

 

 

“Have you gotten any sleep? God.. Lexa.. You look exhausted” Anya said said softly as she pulled her cousin in for another hug.

 

 

“I.. I can’t sleep.. I can’t do anything. She has to be okay” Lexa whispered before handing Ethan over to Raven. She watched as Raven went over to the chair in the corner.

 

 

“She’s going to be fine, Lexa. This is Clarke we are talking about. She’s strong.” Anya said encouragingly and placed a hand on her back. “She has survived everything life has thrown at her.She will make it. Little bean is going to make it. And you are going to be a big happy family. Okay. You are all going to be okay” Anya said softly and Lexa could swear she saw tears in her cousins eyes.

 

 

“I.. I love her.. so much.” Lexa breathed out and squeezed her eyes shut. “I don’t know what I will do if.. if she.. if..” she choked out and Anya pulled her in for a tight hug.

 

 

“Shh. Don’t think like that, Lexa...” Anya murmured and Lexa cried on her shoulder.

 

 

Raven got up from the chair and she and EJ joined them on the bed. “She’s going to be perfectly fine, Woods. It’s Clarke we are talking about. She wouldn’t leave you here alone. She’s a stubborn little shit” The Latina said and placed a and on Lexa’s thigh. Lexa couldn’t help but let out at choked chuckle, because Raven was absolutely right. Clarke was... is the most stubborn person she has ever met.

 

 

“Yeah.. you’re right.” Lexa said and gave her a sad smile.

 

 

 

—————

 

 

 

Lexa had no idea how, but they all had fallen asleep on the hospital bed. She woke up to Abby gently shaking them awake. The older woman was still in her scrubs and Lexa shot up from the bed in an instant.

 

 

“Abby” Lexa gasped out and looked at her. Abby’s eyes were red rimmed and puffy and Lexa had no idea what to do.

 

 

“Is she... is she okay?” Lexa finally found her words again and Abby gave her a faint smile.

 

 

“She made it out of surgery” Abby said softly and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. Lexa took in a breath of relief. So that meant Clarke was alive. She was still here with them.

 

 

“And little bean?” Lexa asked hopefully and her lip trembled.

 

 

“Little bean is fine, Lexa. We had to do another emergency c section, but she is alive.” Abby smiled softly at her.

 

 

“Sh-She?” Lexa asked with tears in her eyes and Abby nodded her head.

 

 

“You have a baby daughter” Abby said softly and Lexa broke into the most heartbreaking smile. “Do you want to see her?” The older woman asked and Lexa looked over her shoulder to the sleeping trio.

 

 

“Y-Yes yes... I..” Lexa stuttered and Abby guided her out of the room and all the way to the baby intensive care.

 

 

They stopped outside a door and Abby turned to face her. “I want to prepare you a bit... she is very small Lexa.. like very very small. She weighs a little over a pound... and she is 8 inches long. She can’t breathe on her own... and her condition is critical.. w.. we aren’t sure if she’s going to survive... but there is a 17 percent chance she will.” Abby explained and Lexa held her tears back.She had to be strong for her baby girl and for Clarke.

 

 

Abby opened the door slowly to let them inside. Lexa took cautious and careful steps inside. “She is over here” Abby said gently and led her towards one of the boxes. Lexa approached it slowly and she gasped at the sight. Beneath all the wires and tubes were the tiniest little baby she had ever seen.

 

 

The baby barely had any hair, but Lexa could make out some dark curls under the breathing mask that was covering most of her head.

 

 

“You can touch her” Abby whispered softly and gestured to the holes in the box. Lexa carefully reached inside the box and let more tears fall as she held her daughter’s hand in her own.

 

 

“She’s beautiful...”Lexa breathed out in awe at the sight of her. “She’s perfect”.

 

 

“Do you want to be alone with her for a while?” Abby asked gently and Lexa nodded her head softly. Abby left the room and Lexa crouched down to get a better look at the baby.

 

 

“Hi baby” She whispered softly and gently stroked the baby’s hand between her fingers. She studied her intently and took notice of the machine pumping oxygen into her tiny body.

 

 

“Hi..” she breathed out and let her tears fall freely. This was their baby daughter. Little bean was here, four months too early. “Hi baby girl.. I’m your mama” she whispered softly and sniffled slightly. “I’m sorry your mommy is not here right now... but I promise she’s going to be just fine.. you’re both going to be just fine” she murmured softly.

 

 

She stayed in the room, talking softly to her daughter, until Abby came back in an hour later, letting her know that she could finally see Clarke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. What do you think?


	18. A J Griffin-Woods

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this took forever. I’m sorry I have been gone for literally a month. It’s been a lot with school and family and I guess life kind of got in the way. 
> 
> Anyways, thank you if you’re still reading this. Hope you enjoy :)
> 
>    
> Btw! The clexa bed selfie is officially out! I’m happy <3

Lexa sat down in the chair next to Clarke’s hospital bed. There was a tube going into her mouth and different wires going in and out of her body. The sight was heart breaking and Lexa’s lip trembled as she carefully ran her hand through blonde waves. 

 

“We don’t know when or if she will wake up, but she can hear you” a nurse said softly while she was looking trough Clarke’s journal. 

 

Lexa gave her a tight lipped smile before the nurse left the room to give them some privacy. Lexa took a hold of Clarke’s hand and squeezed it gently in her own. She had so much she wanted to say, but somehow the words wouldn’t come out. Only yesterday they had been fine. Clarke had been fine and smiling, except for their argument about Wells, but they had worked that out. 

 

If Clarke wakes up from this she promise herself to never act like a jealous ass with her girlfriend ever again. At first she had thought the reason for Clarke’s pain was due to stress from their fight and it hurt her more than anything to think that she had put Clarke through so much pain. Then she found out the reason for her pain, but she should have known. 

 

She gently lifted Clarke’s hand and placed a soft kiss on top of it. Just being in the same room as her, hearing the steady beeping of her heart from the machine, it was enough for now. It meant that she was still here with them and that was all she wanted. For Clarke to be here. To be okay. And to come back to her. 

 

“Hey” Lexa croaked as she gently rubbed circles on the palm of Clarke’s hand. “I.. I don’t know if you can hear me... the doctor said you could hear me but I don’t know. Maybe you are just sleeping. But Uhm.. I... I need you. Clarke.” Lexa started and looked up at the blonde’s face. “I need you to be okay... so can.. can you do that for me? Just be okay.” She breathed out the last part. She didn’t know what else to say to her girlfriend. Only time would tell if she was going to wake up again. 

“You were right by the way.. it is a girl” Lexa chuckled to herself as she looked up at her girl. “We have a beautiful baby daughter.. and EJ and we need you to be okay. Clarke. I can’t do this without you... please don’t make me do this without you” Lexa said as she wiped away at her tears.  

————

 

“Ethan, Hey. EJ... can you say Rrraaaavveeeen?” Raven said as she played with the baby. “Say Raaee Rae”. The Latina had spent almost an hour trying to get her godson to say her name with no such luck. 

 

“Babe... he’s not gonna do it. R is the last letter they learn.” Anya said. It was highly amusing to watch her girlfriend make a fool out of herself in front of the other children in the playpen. 

 

“Don’t be such a pessimist An. Of course he can do it. Right buddy?” Raven said with a grin and patted his belly. Ethan just gurgled something incoherent back, drooling a bit in the process. 

 

“Did you hear that? He said R!” Raven exclaimed proudly and lifted him up in the air. “You are such a good boy!” She smiled widely at him and pressed a kiss to his cheek, before the smile on her face fell a little. She lowered him down to the ground again and sat him in front herself. 

 

“Rae... she’s going to be fine” Anya said softly as she scooted closer to the other girl. She placed a hand on her shoulder and squeezed gently, doing her best to comfort her. They hadn’t gotten any updates on either Clarke or the new baby’s condition, and she could tell that her girlfriend was starting to worry.

 

Raven looked up at her and gave her a weak smile, slightly leaning into her touch. “I know.. I just.. I’m not good at stuff like this.. you know? She’s my best friend. She can’t die.” Raven sighed and bounced Ethan on her lap. 

 

“No, she can’t... Lexa would fall apart” Anya said and leaned her head on her shoulder. “You should go talk to her” Anya said and looked up at Raven. She knew her girlfriend was anxious about her friends condition, and they didn’t know much other than the fact that Clarke hadn’t woken up yet, and it was getting kind of serious. 

 

“Yeah, I guess... I don’t want to force Lexa out of the room though.” She replied and looked around the room with all the other children playing around them. It was weirdly comforting. 

 

“Seriously Raven. Lexa has been in there for almost three hours now. She needs to eat something at one point anyway. We can go there and I can join Lexa and Ethan to the cafeteria or drive to get us take out” Anya said encouragingly and placed a gentle hand on her thigh. 

 

“Yeah, Okay” Raven said and gave her a small smile. 

 

————

 

Raven sat down in the chair next to the hospital bed. Getting Lexa out of the room had been a real challenge, but Anya somehow convinced her to join her for a walk after almost half an hour. She felt bad for making the brunette leave the room, but then again, Lexa had been the first to see Clarke and had been in there for a long time. 

 

She looked at her best friend who was lying unmoving on the bed. The only indication that she was in fact alive was the steady beeping from the machines and the barely noticeable rise and fall of her chest as she breathed. Clarke had to be the most unlucky person in the world to be in this situation not once, but twice. It almost seemed like the universe was punishing her for getting together with her teacher. 

 

“Hey Griff” Raven said softly and shifted a bit closer to her friend. She fiddled a bit with her hands and sighed before running them through her hair. She had no idea what to say. Everyone else in their group of friends where traveling all across the different parts of the country to get to them, lucky for her she attended Polis university.

 

“I.. I’m not really sure what to say now that I’m here” The Latina started and shifted in the chair. “I don’t even know if you can hear me” Raven chuckled sadly and blinked rapidly to keep tears from forming in her eyes. “Anya took Lexa out to get some food... and EJ.. he is fine. I think. He doesn’t really understand what’s happening right now... I wouldn’t blame him though, he is barely a year old.” She chuckled to herself. 

 

She looked around the room, from the half dead flower in the window to the ticking clock on the wall. Raven had never really been one to look at time as something more than what it was, an illusion created to keep track of the things that were happening in life. The funny thing about time is that it can change everything. One minute you’re pregnant and lifting your son out of the playpen at home to get him ready for bedtime. The next you’re fighting for your life in a hospital bed because someone fucked up your last surgery. If Raven had learned one thing from this and the other times, it was that she would from now on cherish every damn moment she had with the people she loves. Someday everyone you love will eventually be gone. 

 

“Please wake up, Clarke” she said softly and gently squeezed her hand. “Lexa needs you to be okay... I need you to be okay.” She sniffled slightly and wiped away at her tears. “Little bean also needs you, I don’t know if Lexa told you but it’s a girl.” Raven smiled slightly. “I haven’t seen her yet, but if Ethan is anything to go by she’s probably beautiful like her mommies”.

 

Raven sat in silence, just listening to the beeping of the machines. She really hated hospitals. They only reminded her of death and bad things. She leaned forward and laced her hand with Clarke’s. 

 

“Griffin.. if.. if you can hear me.. squeeze my fingers” she said softly and rested her head at the edge of the bed. She watched curiously as the blondes facial features changed a bit. Then, she felt it. It was barely noticeable and she would have thought she’d imagined the whole thing if it weren’t for the second squeeze. 

 

“Clarke?” She asked hopefully and the hand squeezed hers more firmly. She looked up at the blondes face and saw her eyes slowly open. Raven had a shit eating grin as she jumped up from her position and leaned closer to the blonde. 

 

“Holy shit.. you’re awake” she breathed and chuckled at the same time. “You had us all scared for a minute there” she said as she quickly filled a glass of water for her best friend. 

 

“Couldn’t leave you here alone... I’m the glue.. remember?” Clarke croaked our, referring to the time in freshman year when their group of friends had split up over some stupid argument. her voice hoarse and groggy. She carefully lifted her hands and placed them over her stomach, only to feel that her bump was smaller than she remembered, and she frowned.

 

“You had an emergency c section. There was some complications from your last surgery with Ethan and your uterus didn’t expand in time with the baby’s growth or some shit.” Raven explained at Clarke’s confusion. 

 

“Is.. is the baby okay?” Clarke asked hopefully as she looked up at her friend.

 

“Yeah. She’s okay, for now. I haven’t seen her yet, but I should probably get the doctor to tell them that you’re-“

 

“Sh-She?” Clarke asked as a few tears escaped her eyes.

 

“Yes.. it’s a girl, Clarke” Raven smiled softly at her and Clarke smiled back. 

 

“I should probably call Lexa and Anya to come back now. She’s going to kill me for being here and not her.” The Latina said as she quickly sent her girlfriend a text to tell them to come back. 

 

—————

 

Clarke could hear her girlfriend’s angry voice followed by footsteps echoing down the hall towards her room. The doctor was finishing up some quick check up tests and Raven was sitting ready to film what she believed to be her last minutes on earth.

 

“I knew I shouldn’t have agreed to come with you! I could have been her for her when she woke up!” Lexa’s angry banter could be heard a mile away. Clarke was smiling at the sound of her fiancées voice. “At least your girlfriend had the decency to let us know she’s awake” Lexa said just before turning the corner of the door to stop dead in her tracks and lock eyes with her favorite. 

 

“Clarke” The brunette breathed out before she hurried over to her. She shot Raven a glare in the process too. 

 

“Baby you’re awake” she sighed with relief and Clarke could see the tears in her eyes threatening to fall. She welcomed her girlfriend with open arms and Lexa fell into them instantly. 

 

“Uhm, guys.. can we be alone for a few minutes?” Clarke asked the other’s in the room as she felt her hospital gown getting damp from Lexa’s tears. They nodded their heads and scurried out of the room.

 

“Lexa, hey.. shh... it’s okay, I’m okay baby, I’m okay” Clarke whispered as she gently rubbed Lexa’s back. The brunette clung to her tighter and shook her head as the sobs escaped her lips. 

 

“Lexa look at me, I’m okay” Clarke murmured softly as she tried to lift Lexa’s head so she would look at her. Blue met green. 

 

“I- I was so scared.. Clarke.. I- I came out from the shower and- and I heard you scream” Lexa said through hiccups and shaky breaths. “You were lying on the floor with EJ and I couldn’t... I thought it was my fault that.. that you...” 

 

“Baby, no.. this was not your fault. You hear me. We couldn’t have known this. I’m sorry I scared you like that” Clarke said softly before connecting their lips in a sweet kiss. It lasted only for a few moments before they pulled back. 

 

Clarke cupped Lexa’s cheeks and wiped away the tears. “Don’t be sad, Okay.” She whispered and pecked the tip of her nose. She looked down at her stomach again. “Have.. have you seen the baby yet?” Clarke asked hopefully and looked into her girlfriends eyes. 

 

“Y-yeah, I.. Abby took me to see her earlier.. she looks like you” Lexa said softly, but lowered her eyes. 

 

“What’s wrong?” Clarke asked when she saw the slight shift in her girlfriend.

“Uhm.. they.. they don’t know if she’s going to make it. Your mom said there is a seventeen percent chance she will, and it will get higher every day she survives.” Lexa explained and Clarke took in her words and nodded her head.

 

“I want to see her” Clarke said and shifted on the bed, trying to get up.

 

“Clarke no, I... let me get the doctor, or at least a wheelchair. You just woke up from surgery.” The brunette said and pushed Clarke gently back against the bed. She pushed the call button on the table and a nurse came into the room after a few moments. 

 

“Is everything okay, Ms Woods?” She asked when she came through the door. Lexa looked up at the woman and nodded her head. 

 

“Yeah, everything is fine, Uhm.. Clarke wants to see the baby” she explained and the nurse nodded in understanding. She walked out of the room and came back a few moments later with Abby and a wheelchair. 

 

“It’s good to see you’re finally awake sweetie” Abby said to her daughter as she got her ready for the wheelchair. 

 

“Yeah, I..” Clarke said but then shrugged. She didn’t know what to say. She just wanted to see her baby. Lexa and her mother helped her stand up from the bed and carefully sat her down in the wheelchair.

 

“Does that feel okay? You’re not uncomfortable?” Abby asked. 

 

“No, I’m fine.” She gave her mother a smile and took a hold of Lexa’s hand with her own. Lexa gave her hand a gentle squeeze before they started walking to where their baby daughter was. 

 

“Where is Ethan?” Clarke asked Lexa suddenly when she remembered that he was supposed to be at the hospital with them. 

 

“He’s with Marcus, I wasn’t sure if you had enough energy to see him right away. He has been kind of a lot the past 24 hours” Lexa explained as they kept walking. “We can go get him after this though” she said as they reached the elevators. Abby pushed the button to the intensive floor.

 

—————

 

Clarke stared at the tiny creature in front of her. She could feel Lexa’s hand resting on her shoulder as she took in the sight of their way premature baby. The sight was both heartbreaking and beautiful. 

 

“You can touch her, Clarke” Lexa said softly and gestured to the holes in the box. Clarke carefully lifted her hand through one of the holes and very gently stroked the top of the baby’s head. 

“She’s beautiful” The blonde whispered and Lexa smiled and placed a kiss to the top of her head. “I wish I could hold her” she murmured as a tear escaped her eyes. This was it. This was their little bean. Their perfect baby daughter. It seemed like it was only yesterday she found out she was pregnant.

 

“She’s making good progress” Abby smiled from where she was checking up on another premature baby. “If she keeps getting enough energy and responding well to our tests you will be able to hold her very soon”. She smiled softly at them. 

 

“Mom.. what.. she’s so little.. will she have any complications?” Clarke asked from where she was sitting.

 

“Well, there is always complications with premature babies, but they fade away as they grow stronger. It depends on what you put in the word complication. She may have some problems or she may be perfectly fine. There is no way to know for sure though. Right now the major problem is that her lungs is not fully developed so she can’t quite breathe on her own. She may be deaf or blind, we don’t know yet.” Abby explained and Clarke looked at her baby. 

 

“I don’t care if she’s going to be deaf, or blind or if she grows another head for that matter. I just want her to be okay.” Clarke whispered as she kept stroking the baby’s head. 

 

————

 

The days at the hospital was dragging along and they had almost been there for a week now. Little bean was responding well to the different tests she was put through and she had gained some weight too. Lexa had sent Anya to their house to pick up some more clothes and stuff for them to the hospital. Their friends and family came and went to check up on them and the new baby.

 

“Clarke.. she needs a name. We can’t keep calling her little bean forever” Lexa said as she bounced Ethan in her lap. They were sitting in the baby intensive room to be closer to their daughter, and to introduce EJ to his sister.

 

“I like little bean. It had a ring to it. But you’re right. Okay, so I kind of have a name in mind, but I don’t know what you think about it.” Clarke said softly as she watched Lexa with their son. Lexa looked back at her, waiting for her to tell her the name. 

 

“So.. I.. I don’t know if I remember this correctly because you only mentioned it once, but I really like your grandmother’s middle name, Aleah... and I know she meant a lot to you- Lexa.. why are you crying?” Clarke said softly as she reached forward to wipe her tears away. “Oh god, do you hate it? We don’t have to call her that if you don’t want to I just thought that maybe..”

 

“Clarke” Lexa murmured trying to stop her girlfriend from rambling. 

 

“I know I should have asked you first-“

 

“Clarke..” Lexa said with a slight chuckle at how cute the blonde was being. Clarke’s head snapped up to meet her own. “I love it, it’s perfect” Lexa said before leaning in to capture her lips. 

 

“Yes, Really. I love you” she smiled and captured her lips again. Ethan was happily gurgling in her lap. Ethan’s birthday had been a few days prior, and Lexa had taken him out to buy him a new toy car and cake. They felt bad for not giving him a proper celebration, but they would do that when little bean was getting better. She kissed the top of his head. 

 

“Mama” Ethan said and turned in her lap. 

 

“What’s wrong buddy? Are you hungry?” She asked softly and moved his hair out of his eyes. EJ nodded his head and she handed him over to Clarke. She rummaged through the diaper bag to take out a jar of apple sauce and a spoon. Clarke handed him back over and Lexa placed him in her lap. 

 

“What do you think baby? Does your sister look like an Aleah?” Clarke asked their son as Lexa fed him the apple sauce. He only ate the sauce and drooled a bit on himself in the process. 

 

“Oh” Lexa said and quickly dried it with a napkin. “I think he likes it” Lexa chuckled and Clarke smiled at her, shaking her head.

 

Abby came walking into the room to check up on the baby. She smiled at them before opening the box her grand daughter was laying. 

 

“Is everything all right?” Clarke asked as Abby listened to the baby’s lungs. 

 

“Yeah, she’s doing really well actually. Her lungs are getting better, I think we can take the mask off and only leave the tube through the nose” Abby smiled at her daughter as she gently removed the mask from the baby’s face. It hadn’t been a permanent thing, only for a few hours a day to help her breathe as best as possible. 

 

“Do you want to hold her?” Abby asked gently and Clarke smiled widely as she nodded her head. “We will be able to move you guys to a more private room with her soon” Abby said as she carefully lifted the baby up. She fit into the size of both of Abby’s hands and Lexa looked on in awe as Clarke held their baby daughter for the very first time.

 

“Oh my god..” Clarke breathed out as Abby laid the baby to her chest. “She’s so tiny” she said softly as she smiled over at Lexa. She gently stroked the baby’s back with her finger. “She’s so beautiful”. 

 

“Do you have a name for her yet?” Abby asked and Clarke nodded with a smile. 

 

“We were thinking Aleah” Clarke said softly and kissed the top of her daughter’s head. 

 

“It’s beautiful” Abby smiled at her daughter and Lexa. 

 

“Actually, Clarke.. what do you think about Aleah Jasmine? Or AJ for short?” Lexa asked from where she was sitting. Clarke looked over at her with a big smile and a few unshed tears in her eyes. 

 

“I love it. EJ and AJ.” She chuckled and Lexa stood up and walked over to give her a peck on the lips. “We did good with these two” Clarke said as they parted. Lexa only grinned at her before leaning in again. 

 

“I love you, Clarke” She whispered against her lips.

 

“I love you more” Clarke murmured back. 

 

“Not possible”

 

They sat like that for a long time. Clarke with their new baby close to her chest and Lexa next to her on the floor with Ethan. Abby had secretly snapped a photo of them on her way out of the room to give them some time alone with their family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any thoughts?


End file.
